SYLVIA'S DIARY

** WARNING GRAPHIC SURGICAL CONTENT 

No sooner than one busy memorable and sad week passes another one starts. Bill and I had a really nasty bug for three days. Both of us must have lost a fair bit of weight and neither of us could touch food for days. Hopefully by the time you read this we will have recovered. My back has been unbearable, I guess because I could not hold fluids down, and muscles need hydrating, so I felt it more.

The Farm down the road is empty now. The poor farmer had a heart attack on the road chasing a cow that was out and he died in the lane. This was months ago, but the tenants are gone, and I guess the place will go on the market very soon. The poor farm cats are a feral bunch and they have no one. So we have started feeding, trapping, neutering, spaying, releasing and repeating. This means someone has to go up and down to the farm constantly to check the trap. If we catch any tameable ones we are hoping to try and tame them to find them a home, but they seem to be a pretty wild bunch.

If you remember from my diary last week, we rescued 50 dogs from a hoarding home. I have finally got someone to take notice, and go around to check on the one remaining dog that still has not been picked up by their son - who they told us was due back Thursday from his holiday. People from the road are saying the dog is in the garden barking all day and I feel so sad for it. Let's hope when the home is inspected something will be done for this poor dog, and any future dogs she may try to obtain.

Lux, the dog with the liver shunt had a CT scan and unfortunately, the shunt is inside of his liver and not outside. This has now become very complicated and the survival rate on an operation of this calibre is poor. So now the referrals have sent the scan to another to look at, and we are awaiting their opinion. This is a very worrying time, as some days Lux does well and others he suffers. It's possible the ending may not be happy, but for now he has many more good days than bad. A few days after his CT, we received a lengthy complicated report on our little fighter, Lux. He clearly has not given up the fight for life, and though it is not a sure thing that the operation is going to work… the only other option we would have is to put him to sleep, and how can you do that to this quivery delight? Who on good days loves life more than you can imagine. So I thought and thought, and tonight I will buy a lottery ticket for him, and he will get his chance of the gift of life, as he is so deserving.

The vet surgery makeover went well, and I was so pleased with the outcome. Us humans, including me, are a funny lot - we know when we have done well, but just want someone to tell us. Yesterday a vet nurse did just that and I was elated that someone else appreciated the time and effort I have put in, and must remember and praise my staff as they work so so hard.

It’s 4 in the morning as I am writing this and my head is buzzing. We drove late into the night once we were on the ferry, and I was then supposed to sleep. Instead, my head buzzed with ideas for the rescue, with thoughts of those I have come to pick up, of emails of desperate dogs needing to be saved, of the equines at the centre, the staff, our vans. Just one whole load of random things I can do nothing about at this time of the day but cannot let go of. This happens a lot to me, sleep is precious and rare for me. I honestly cannot remember a time I slept all through the night without waking up worrying. I try to change my focus to the positive - the happy 50 dogs that were rescued last week from one house, the amazingly sweet Sian - the 25-year-old horse who has come to spend the rest of her life with us, the adopters of both Cypriot and Ukraine dogs, it’s been one hell of a week! Now it’s just too late to bother going to sleep, or try to, as I need to get up soon and start the epic trip to pick up the dogs that are starting their new beginning with us.

This week when I got my migraine again, or the ‘Irish Migraine’ as I call it, the one I get before all of the trips I was working out the logistics of our trip. The paperwork and timing of picking up the dogs must be absolutely precise, amongst other necessities the trip requires. The Irish customs have treated us so badly in the past that Joyce and I dread going through now. After a very long travel day, then to go to customs at night, it’s a lot to get through. The migraine is worrying about any paperwork that may be wrong and potentially having to leave a dog if something is incorrect. This month’s list of passports and waiting dogs has ranged from a 6-month old St. Bernard puppy, to tiny Malteses, Collies, Springers and all sorts of Poodle Crosses. The list included cross breeds, pure breeds, all special and all desperate for a new start.

Initially, when I pick up the dogs, all have to be scanned for their microchip numbers. The number is then cross referenced on the information I received pre-trip that includes health certificates and passports. If any number is wrong in the comparison of the chip and the paperwork, I cannot take the dog and have to leave it. That is where my heart is torn in half. This has unfortunately happened twice on two separate trips, and both times the poor dog had to stay until the issue was sorted, instead of being delighted by joining all on board. I often dwell on those that I have had to leave or have seen and so wanted to come back with me but couldn't take them.

Whilst I was out picking up dogs, Chelsea was at the rescue trying to ensure a little dachshund was able to have her pups safely. She had come to us enormous and while being scanned, we could see lots of live wiggling pups awaiting to be born. She eventually had 7 in total, but only 5 have survived so far, and on the night returning from Ireland, one more was to die. Life for these newborns is very fragile, the mums can roll on the pups, tread on them, they can be deformed or simply fade and die. We have whelping bars, so the pups are less likely to be squashed, but they are not 100% successful. In the last few years, we have learnt a lot about whelping bitches as we have had so many dogs come to us already pregnant. We have been able to save many that may not have made it but for the ones lost, mine and Chelsea’s hearts break just a little bit more each time.

A very sweet Frenchie was scanned this week and was found to be in need of bladder surgery. On opening her bladder, three polyps were found blocking the access for her to be able to urinate with ease. We were all amazed that she had been able to go on with the amount of pain and discomfort she must have had. The polyps have been sent off for testing and we await the results. Please God, all will be well now.

Winnie, the little disabled Cav has managed to ease her way into all’s hearts. She is going for X-Rays this week to see if she can be helped to move properly, or just how she can be helped - perhaps with physio? She is a darling, and if anyone out there wants to and could afford to take on her care, they are welcome to apply.

One of my responsibilities each day is to keep up with the mass amounts of emails we receive. The general emails received are sent directly to one of the offices, but the pleas for help, specialist vet quotes, and things like that come directly to mine and Bill’s computer. I think that’s even more so why I am so aware of the great sadness in this world, and it weighs on me so heavily. This week there was a lady with 13 dogs being made homeless. She is requesting a corner of a field to live a quiet life with her dogs. This is something the council would not allow, so unfortunately I could not help. She said in her long and sad letter that if no one helped her, the only other thing to do was to end her life. I believe someone offered her a space in England, but she wants to be in Wales as she is the primary caregiver of a family member. I really cannot help her but am so worried about what she may do, we are hopeful she will find a home for herself and her dogs soon. We are an animal rescue, not a human rescue, however the way this rescue works - the people help the dogs who intern help the people, one big circle of love, help and hope.

Another of the emails desperate for help was for King. He is in Sarajevo and was found almost dead on a mountain side. He had a bad accident, and his leg had been broken and had reset itself badly. He was so thin and starving and covered in scars. Despite all this, a lovely man carried him to safety. Although, the man who saved King is not from that country, he has been sponsoring him for four years trying to find him a rescue willing to take him. The dog is called King, he is not a special eye candy type of dog, and he has no claims to fame. He is what some would call just a street mut, but he so wants to be more. His human finder goes once a year to visit him and is desperate for UK rescue space. Photos and a video of King were sent to me and I looked and thought about him all night. He really doesn’t have much of a chance, and probably never did. I just can't help but think that WE could change that for this dog, and though so many every week need help, I will try to find out more about King.

Now to talk about our rescue horse, Sian. She had been in the same home for 17 years, and I believe she is now aged 25. Her owner was not well enough to have her any longer as she could not care for her. She came in sad, uninterested in life, and with a dull look in her eye.This obviously was a bother to the equine lovers and the passers-by, and just anyone with a love for animals. The dog lovers and work men all reached out a hand to this big noble, shut-down horse, and we all loved her as we could. Days passed and as we hoped, she bonded well with our horse Quarrel. As that happened, she changed and her coat started to shine, her eyes lost their dullness, she started to wicker to us in the mornings. Now she cannot go for a walk without staff and visitors swarming around her to say hi, give her a scratch, or a full-blown cuddle. Even if you’re not a horse person, you can visibly see this once poor old dying horse change to a happy, enthusiastic, kind and loving animal looking forward to each day. The other day a supporter wrote to me, I asked if I could share her words, and she agreed:

''Dear Sylvia Van Atta, I come weekly if I can with blankets and towels that I am given for your dogs from locals around the estate I live in. I often see your horse staff with children or adults with ponies going for walks. This reminds me of my younger days growing up on our farm, and the horses we had. I love that you allow others to share your animals, especially the horses, that are such wonderful beasts. This time when I came, I met an old horse called Sian. A very sweet lady and a visitor were walking her. I heard the visitor say, "this horse is my sister." I asked her what she meant. She said I have no sister like me, and so Sian’s my sister. This person lives in a special home I believe, I think your horse may have been just the medicine she needs to help her. Thank you for rescuing Sian, as she may have needed rescuing, but I think you may find she may just rescue some herself. Sent with kindness, along the carrots, that of course are for Sian, left on the bench this am. Dorethy.''

These words made me smile. I know the horses help so many, and I know the equine staff don’t get the recognition they deserve. Their job is filled with hard work and love every day, the same with everyone here - with their therapy groups, homeschool groups, schools and homes coming to help, so many, both man and beast. Please feel free if you wish to be a part of this, or you know a child or grandchild, Granny or Grandpa or anyone who would love a special experience with our rescued horses and ponies, just book in or e-mail and come. You could make it a special birthday gift, if you wanted. All this is free, though donations really help.

Lastly I must talk about Orpheus, the gentle hound who was literally saved, days away from death, by an amazing rescue in Cyprus called Sirius, who is under a great strain. Their work saved this dog from death's door. He is a great mixture of loving and a little shy. He would love a VERY special home with a female confident dog that would help him learn about good old home comforts, wonderful humans and all we can offer. He is the dog I would adopt if only I did not have so many. So I am reaching out to you all to help me find him the home he needs. He is truly special.

Well, that’s my week, very busy with complicated highs and lows. I am so grateful we have been blessed to help so many, for every one who gives me strength to carry on, and for Bill, for looking after me whether I am cheerful, or so very often so sad.

Please enjoy this picture of a very smiley pup, reminding you to think of him and all of his rescue friends throughout the week! Thank you for all your support.

Sylvia x

How wrong can you be?

Last week there was a call from a lady who was desperate for our help. She said she had 30 dogs that needed picking up, but that she wanted to keep 10.
She was asked if she was a breeder, and she said no. Just that no one would help her and from her original two dogs she now had 30 as they had mated and had pups and then more.
We asked her if she had tried elsewhere, she said she had, and even gave the names of rescues.

I decided to take a look and that I should go with a van, park down the road and get Chelsea to come in with me to assess the situation.
We knocked on the door and were let into a room of about 10 feet x12 feet with a baby gate to the kitchen and in the kitchen were too many dogs to even count.
The lady’s mum of 85 years old said she was embarrassed.
I was told that the dogs never went in the garden as neighbours had complained about them making noise, so they never went back out there and the smell of them all urinating in the house was indescribable, except to say my eyes were streaming.

There were newborn pups, 4–5-week-old pups, and juveniles and adults. The woman said no one would help her and the situation got worse and worse as the dogs had nappies on when in season but got them off and so more more puppies were made, ( I was lost for words.) I looked at the poor dogs who were not in good condition and said we would take them all.

Joe was called and he pulled up in the van. Chelsea handled the scared dogs with all her years of knowledge and expertise. No one could have done a kinder better job. The older mum helped; I documented what we took.
As less and less dogs in the house I could hear the daughter more and more. She told me how she loved them and how she cared and thanked me so much. I hadve to admit I was not very kind and honestly told her how her home stunk, how bad the dog’s condition was and that she had caused this suffering. She cried, but honestly it was a lot to take in.
I did not even think of the huge cost Many Tears would endure with this rescue.

She got down to the last 10 that she wanted to keep. I explained that 10 is still too many for her and this home, I initially said none at all was better but 2 is plenty and we will take those now to spay neuter and return as long as you clean up this home and make it right for them to live. She said she could not part with the 10 and after a lot of negotiation we compromised on 4 dogs that she could keep once they were neutered.

We loaded all the dogs from the house except one dog that they said was their sons whilst he was on holiday, and he was collecting the next day.
I explained that the condition of the dogs was not acceptable, and she agreed it was all out of hand, and I believed her.

We got home with 49 dogs, all but the one that was her sons, and we believed her and believed we were helping her.
There were three vets at Many Tears and a registered vet nurse, all were upset and shocked that that many dogs lived in a tiny house and their bad condition.

We bathed them all, of the four we said we would return when spayed and neutered, one was in good condition, but one was blind and the two others were full of mange.
I called the lady and had the vets speak to her, but she was adamant she wanted all 4 back.

The night before we were due to take the 4 dogs back to her, I awoke at 2am and could not get the dogs of my mind. There was something niggling at my mind and I got so worried.
In the morning, I told Chelsea of my fears.
We had got together a care package of spot ons, shampoos, harnesses, coats, bed baskets and food, as well as a statement for her to sign to agree that she would be taking them to regular vet appointments and that Many Tears were allowed to access their info at the vets.
I asked Chelsea to go with Joe and park down the road with the dogs. She was to knock on the door and go in and explain about the signature needed and what it was for. She was also to look around see if they had started to clean up, check the garden etc before giving the dogs.

Chelsea went to the house and Joe stayed with the dogs in the vehicle. The dog that they said was the sons’ was still there, and actually tried to attack Chelsea, the daughter had to stand in his way and keep him back. She then found a man hiding in the house, concealing another dog. Chelsea looked, the dog was in terrible condition, and said you told us you had no other dogs, and said we would take that one too. The women said no she was keeping that one.
Chelsea called me and I said that she had lied to us and now we cant trust her word. She may not take the other dogs to have regular check ups etc and I was worried about returning any of the dogs to her now. There was a lot of shouting by the lady, and Chelsea told her that all of this is because of what she had done, the state of the house and the state of the poor dogs, we the vets’ statements and pictures we had she was not backing down and leaving more dogs with her. The dog was handed over and the women shouted "have them all then!", and a release form was signed.

Chelsea called me again, I asked her to go to the neighbour who seemed to be very interested, and tell her what had happened, that 50 dogs lived in the house and we had taken them leaving only one now, the one who was said to belong to a son.
She asked her to keep an eye on things, in case they were hiding more. All are on their way back now.

I feel sick I nearly returned dogs to a person I believed was just in trouble, but was clearly a hoarder and not honest. How may dogs have died at this home? I have no idea.
My trust for humans is VERY low this week.

Since getting these poor dogs home I have received emails and a video from neighbours saying they had reported this situation for some time. That NO dog was ever walked there. That they stopped them going in the garden after noise complaints months ago. That dogs were heard fighting and screaming, and the hoarders yelled at them constantly.
I was in two minds to let you see the video which shows a dog being mauled and the daughter and husband beating many with broom and other garden tools but decided there is no point making you as upset as I feel at this time.

Let's dwell on the positive.

The dogs are saved, being loved, being cared for. Neighbours are watching the property and will call us as requested. I have tried to talk to the right people about this case and believe someone is calling round.The one dog on the property they say belongs to the relative will be looked at if still there. To us he had been very aggressive but possibly was just terribly upset as clearly no visitors ever came.

We know now what these dogs have seen and endured, so when someone said “these are the ugliest pups I have ever seen” , Chelsea and I could have wept.

The dogs all seem to be terrier mixes possibly with a sharpei.
All 11 kilos or under , many 7 kilos. All were fed, so only the weak are under fed as I think food was thrown on the floor. It clearly was not good food as the dogs’ teeth whether young, or older around 4, all have tartar, and their nails are very long and soft and hollow. Their skin is generally bad with demodex mange that is being treated.
Their patchy fur already is starting to shine thanks to Arden Grange, their good food is changing their condition rapidly.
They all are having baths, to start with it was to clean their urine saturated bodies, now its to get rid of bacteria on their skin.
They are starting to trust us, though one or two are still very scared. Brooms REALLY scare them.
We are now praying the public will want to help.
They need socialising, learning to walk on leads, fosterers and adopters.
All are by donation, all if old enough are spayed/ neutered, chipped, kennel cough vaccinated ,wormed, spot-ons given and inoculated.
This is a huge expense, but they are SO worth it.

As you can hear, it’s been a very sad week.

A little bichon poodle cross given to us very thin on investigation was in kidney failure, and even with all the vets attempts could not be saved.
 

A darling 8-day chunky retriever pup died without clear reason.
Our liver shunt boy Lux is doing badly and having a CT scan which is many thousands of pounds to determine if he can be saved or needs to be helped to fall asleep forever. The poor fosterers who have had to go through this kind of thing so many times are suffering now too.

A poor little chihuahua needing bi lateral slipping patella’s repaired came in. He has had a specialist look and will be operated on, on 13/11/24, and we will need to raise BIG funds for that too.
 

Now the good things....

Dogs are being adopted; that’s always great.

Star who came in with such terrible injuries when her previous owners dog had mauled her went to foster all healed up, well and waggy.

Beryl who makes wonderful Christmas wreaths and items to sell redecorated the shop and had make fantastic goods to sell.

Many vets came and helped with the 50 dogs all voluntarily.

Its not raining either!

Also our wonderful supporter Vicky Pattison appeared on Celebrity Tipping Point and raised an amazing £2400 for the rescue! We are so honoured to have been her chosen charity and for all the continued support she gives us. Vicky, you are amazing and we are so grateful for everything you do.

I am pushing myself to the limit, I have a great handyman putting up new shelves in the vets, I have worked very early morning and late at night to make a VERY big difference, our drug cupboard and work surfaces are clear and there is room to work easier.

Bill and Joyce have had to drive all over the place to pick up dogs too, and we are understaffed also, and advertising, so as you can hear, we are all very busy indeed.

I am still trying to get together great items for a SPECIAL CHRISTMAS AUCTION… The idea is you ( if possible ) would donate something special for us to auction knowing it will go to a good cause. Then others who are stuck not knowing what to buy a loved one may bid and win one of these items and with it know it will help the dogs at Many Tears.

It’s so important to me to make this a success so please, please help me with it, especially now there are 50 more inmates to worry about, all of which are not cute and fluffy.

Thank you everyone for helping us continue, we are only able to help these dogs and other animals because of you all.

Sylvia x

It’s a new week and everyone is still trying to catch Tilly. She’s the Ukrainian dog that the adopters sadly lost for the second time since she has been with them. These dogs have been through so much already; I guess you may call them damaged goods. Drones have been flown, wildlife cameras are set, sightings made, but all to no avail. Joyce and Chelsea were out at the crack of dawn but still no luck. It's a huge worry for all, especially Tilly. It’s 8.14 at night, and Joyce, Chelsea and others have been tracking, searching, praying, and probably shedding a tear or two for Tilly who had been missing for well over 48 hours. She spooked on a walk when her new owner took his coat off and what memories that must have brought to her, we don’t know, but certainly she was in the thick of the Ukrainian war, and she has not forgotten the terrors of it all. Tilly was sighted here and there on cameras, by neighbours and passers-by, and last night by a bunch of staff who after work, or on their day off, and some paid staff, all witnessed her running through a field. But sadly, nobody was able to catch her. She had gone back to her home at one point, but the door was shut. Luckily, the cameras picked this up, so tonight, a door was left open for her. Her canine friend of two years was put in a crate in the hallway and Joyce sat in a car on the people’s beautifully manicured lawn (with their blessing). She had a rope set from her car rigged up to shut the door and Tilly appeared! Whilst Joyce was telling me the story, my heart rate was racing!!!! Tilly went around the car a number of times and Joyce sat as still as a statue. She put one paw into the house but backed out. Joyce’s heart was thumping so hard. She went back and put a few more paws in, and then went all the way. Joyce was so worried, this was a one-off chance, if it failed she would run out and probably never try it again. Joyce made her move. Bang… the door was shut . Tilly was caught and safe. Next the staff group chat went mad and message after message of joy and thanks to all came in. So many amazing staff and of course Chelsea and Joyce who always had faith they could catch her. She’s on her way back to the centre now. Very sadly all the Ukrainian dogs will have to endure the fireworks that to them will sound like gunshots and bombs in the next few weeks.

Now it’s getting late. I must try to sleep if I can find some space on my bed.

This week, Joyce’s run to Ireland brought home a huge diversity of dogs from dachshunds to Rhodesian Ridgebacks and so many others too.. The horse program is going well with adults and children from special needs homes, home schooled children and groups all hoping to feel the magic of the horse, and they really do have this. There have also been so many desperate calls wanting us to pay for a surgery, requesting we take in dogs and cats and many threatening to put them to sleep if we don’t help, its so hard as we do as much. 

When pups come to us they can have very expensive problems. Some are born with hearts that have valves that don’t shut. The operation that is lifesaving is intricate and very often unsuccessful, sadly some never even get the chance as they never reach the right age or weight to operate. Those who do get a scan and an operation at the cost of 4/6 thousand and if that operation is successful, go on to live a long and normal life. Pups also come in with deformed limbs and juvenile cataracts, but the one I hate the most is the liver shunt pups. A liver shunt occurs when an abnormal connection persists to form a portal vein or one of its branches and allows blood to bypass or shunt around the liver. Sadly this not only causes huge problems for the pup, but even if it can be managed with a specific diet by around two years, usually a lot sooner, the poor dog will die a painful death. We send our pups to be operated on, but this is very expensive, requires a specialist, and sadly not always possible or successful. Sweet Lux has been with us for months and only now have we found out he has a very unusual shunt. He now needs an MRI to even establish if an operation is possible. He is now with a Fosterer who has specialised in pups like this and thus is in the best possible hands till his next vets visit. He is one I do bother my God about for he needs all the help he can get. I posted a picture so he is in your thoughts and prayers too. His name is Lux.

Many years ago I ran a blog about what goes on at the rescue, however I stopped when certain individuals read and twisted my words, and started making a lot of trouble for me. One particular person started this bullying and unkindness a few years ago and we had to get a solicitor on to her. This year it’s started all over again. Some of the things that have happened to me have been so unkind and honestly their actions and words probably would have broken most. Now I have had a letter from DVLA saying a third party has said I am not fit to drive. I am assuming this person has read my blog and thought if I have a broken back, I must be on meds and therefore makes me unfit to drive, and that the report could cause lots of trouble for me. Sadly for them, this is not the case and 16 weeks later I have only taken pain meds at the start and since then, have chosen not to. My doctors never said I am not fit to drive, but the DVLA has sent pages and pages of questions and if I don’t answer they will take my licence. This sad individual thinks then, if I can't drive, I wouldn't be able to collect the x breeders. Not only is that not true, as many of us have taken the required test to transport dogs via Ireland and the continent, but I can drive just fine. This is just yet another thing I have to grin and bear.

However, I won’t stop writing my diary. Many of you would love to be here helping, but cannot for one reason or another, and writing it is a gateway for you all to feel more of a part of the work we all do, and the lives that we all can save.

Tonight is a very special night. We are helping 12 very special dogs that were rescued in Cyprus, the rescue is called Sirius, and this is not the first time we have worked with them. Hope is a very special feeling, without hope it’s hard to see a path for the future. I have worked in a place (in fact run it) where when I started there was no hope. Dogs and cats came in, they died, they weren't adopted, and no one came to even look… The staff had no hope for their futures and believed putting the effort into the little time they were with us, which was just three days at the most for nearly all, was a waste of time. I led by example and showed them that dogs being loved, exercised, cared for and made comfortable really did matter, even if only for a few days. Things began to change, especially when the staff understood, and slowly they got back the hope for a future. Rescues abroad have a terrible time mirroring this practice, and often the staff's morale is low. With helping, even if only now and then, not only can you help those dogs, but others too, because the staff start to feel hope which creates a happier and better environment, which benefits all involved.

Sirius rescue is a one of the rescues that have wonderful people but a really tough time. Their government is making it impossible to carry on. Dogs they rescued and nursed back to health are at the risk of having no rescue to live at and thus losing their lives. We cannot buy them their own government approved facility, but we can help a little. This is what our contact wrote about the situation, ‘’The law that was passed was clear. No building permit. No shelter. The deadline expires in September and then they start handing out fines. We don't know the amounts yet. Eventually they will close all the shelters down for not complying because for most of us it is impossible to get building permits and not for lack of trying. Since there are no alternatives for the dogs to have placement, they will euthanize, young, old, healthy, sick, big and small. Believe me we've been trying to find new premises for over a decade. The obstacles they place are deliberate and soul crushing.’’

There are 12 dogs coming to us, but below are two of them. The pictures and videos speak for themselves. Just look at what they had to deal with when the dogs first arrived at the Sirius rescue, and how they saved these dogs due to arrive at Many Tears tonight!!!! The Cypriot dogs are amazing, so loving and happy to be here. They just make you happy to be around them. We are all hoping they will find loving homes quickly.

Not a day goes by that something does not happen, today Sian was picked up, she’s the old horse discussed last week that needed a home. A very kind volunteer brought her car that could tow our trailer, and we were able to bring her home. She has no sparkle in her eyes and looks much like she’s given up. She needs some herbs, vitamins and TLC. I am sure once the vet has assessed her teeth and she starts to feel better, hopefully then she will start to sparkle, but these things take time. Quarrel seems pleased to have her around, but she just stands looking sad now. Please feel free to visit her.

This week we had a call from a lady asking us to help her. She was not a breeder, but two dogs over the years had created a nightmare situation. No one had helped this elderly lady and her daughter. Because the neighbours complained of the noise, she NEVER let the dogs out. She tried to keep up, she thought putting nappies on an in season bitch would stop them mating, but as you can imagine they did. They lived in a tiny house and the dogs were not crated. I took Chelsea and Joe there, and I was what I can only describe as Gobsmacked. There were 50 dogs there, and most of them were corgi size, shape and built, but all just crosses of some kind. There were newborn pups and so many others too. The dogs were loved in their own way, but the people ultimately could not care for the amount of them. They wanted to keep 10 special ones. But I managed to bring all back to the rescue, promising to spay and neuter 4 of them and take them back. These people do care, they just needed help a few years ago and no one gave it to them.One unspayed female dog and her initial litter can lead to 67,000 puppies in just six years. So they are all here now, all getting baths, vets checks and awaiting neutering.

Life is NEVER slow here.

I am still desperate to raise funds to keep doing what we do. For those who donated something for us to auction, thank you so much. There has been silver jewellery, arts and craft items, a ring, a clock, and so much more. However, I am still asking for you to look for something, anything.. Perhaps you don't need, but loathe to sell because of memories or something else. Please remember these things could really help dogs. It can be anything, or you could make something as I did to sell. Please help. I really need your support.

Thank you again for reading this, your support and mostly for caring. Sylvia x

The weekend was not the usual adoption success we are used to. People reserved dogs, and then ultimately changed their minds. Others came to meet the dogs, and expected to see an already well-adjusted dog. Or that their resident dog would quickly love any dog chosen for them by their humans, which is seldom the case. This dog was too big, that dog was too small. And last week it was even because they felt the dog slobbered too much. It makes things even tougher when you're the one who picked the dogs up. Somehow it becomes even more personal. It’s not just me that thinks this, I have heard others share the same feelings.

Saturday we had a fundraiser event, Ride for Rescue, which was glorious and we expected 60 plus bikers to come. I hired extra staff to greet them, park them, and make them feel very appreciated by showing them around. We waited all excited, but in the end sadly most of them canceled. I guess the weather where they were coming from was not good. But we appreciated the 10 plus bikers who came and were loaded with treats, toys and goodies, and arrived on truly stunning bikes. However, because so many less than we were told turned up, the extra staff was not really needed, but we are so grateful for those who turned up to support.

Early Saturday morning a man turned up with a tiny kitten he had found in the road near its dead sibling. The kitten is now called Cream, and he's around 4 weeks old. This year more than ever, we need to get a new and quieter cattery, ours is small and situated next to many loud dog kennels. This is going to take a lot of money and hard labour, but all the cat rescues are full up, and it's just so sad the amount of homeless cats up here. The stories that worry me so much are when the elderly are being moved to homes as they can no longer care for themselves, and there is nowhere for their cat to go. Which is really miserable for both the cat and the poor person desperate not to let their companion down.

Then came Sunday and it poured with rain, and when it was not pouring it was so windy, gray, and miserable. Early Monday morning our dear old Golden Retriever who had been with us only a matter of days had her pups. Bill found them and one was non responsive. He tried to give her the kiss of life, but sadly to no avail. However, Mum has ended up with 4 puppies, who we all hope will survive.

Wednesday we were hoping to pick up a very old mare who was in desperate need of rescuing, but Bill's truck which is always used for this and other things, is not available this week so she now has to wait, as we don't have anything to pull the borrowed horse trailer with. However, we have been saving up with the help of some grants for a van that will be capable of pulling a horsebox, but are still 6 grand short. That along with the £23 thousand estimated to build a new cattery means things are a little overwhelming, But.... believe to achieve.

I know I have talked about this before, but now instead of just talking I have done something about it. A few weeks before Christmas and when you may be stressed out and have no idea what to buy someone, and you are looking around your home - I want to launch an auction of special items to raise money for the things we need, and the list is extensive. If you look around at what you have and see there is something very special you can donate, or make, please please do so. Just send an email to me, swvanatta@gmail.com, a picture and description of the item and we can go from there. Maybe no one will do this, but I have started the trend. My offering is unique - literally the only one in all the world. He stands about a foot high and is a unicorned winged horse made from copper wire. He stands on a piece of tree that I found in Brechfa forest. In Arizona, I amongst other things, was a wire sculptress, but mainly cow workers, taming horses or roping cattle. This artwork is different, very hard to photograph but I think it's special enough to get a bid or two on. Please have a look at things you are able to make or donate, and you too could help me make a difference.

Last night at just after midnight Joyce drove in with 47 precious lives ready for their new start in life. We have often been accused of sneaking in at night so as to go under the radar. This is of course by armchair warriors who are too lazy to come and see what we do. Instead with their time, they invent stories and circulate them, causing the maximum trouble they can. However the truth of it is that the ferries to Southern Ireland run twice a day. The people we rescue the dogs from do not want to be woken up in the night. So we pick up in the daylight, get the evening ferry and go home, arriving just after midnight. If we are lucky the customs are there, as they don’t stop inspecting just because it’s night time, and all of the paperwork is declared even before the journey home begins. This week a team was ready to help unload, most were staff, but some were their other halves, and I am so grateful to all. Today, a vet will do health checks, then they will be booked in, get their inoculations, wormers spot ons and then be neutered and get ready to be homed. And even as I speak I have been asked the dates of the next trip. It’s all very time consuming.

Poor Tilly from Ukraine, that we discussed last week got spooked on a walk and took off again from her new family. The staff went and searched for her yet again but this time could not find her and night is drawing in. We are all sad and she’s been through so much and now this again. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just these poor dogs are damaged and traumatized having lived through a war and are easily spooked. It will take a long time for these dogs to resonate with their past and I fear some memories may be with them forever.

I have decided I need a good iPad, as working off my phone is getting so hard. I am not at all technologically-minded and I keep losing signal, or worse still, my blog! Things happen so fast, if I don’t write it down things get out of sequence.

This week, I will finish my blog thinking of wolves. They live in great family units, who look after the old that are unable to hunt, and feed and care for them. They mate for life with one partner and mourn if they lose them, sometimes for longer than a year, and they never mate within the pack of their relatives. They are strong and loyal, and this type of pack mentality is unmatched in the animal kingdom, including us humans! Yet we humans feel we are superior to animals including the wolf … is this because we have the ability to wreck so many other lives making us feel Powerful. Who knows? Thank you for reading my week, my thoughts, my worries, my successes and failures.

Most of all thank you for caring.

Sylvia

The vets have been incredibly busy with spaying and neutering, nasal wedges, entropion eyes, hernias, plus removal of lumps and life saving surgeries. Running the surgery is challenging to say the least. The vets, some volunteers, paid staff, nurses and helpers work so hard to pay attention and not let anything slip by. The dogs receive their premeds and are operated on and recover in our vets office, whilst others come in for health checks and weighing. I have been a vet’s helper myself on many occasions, and if someone's ill and we are understaffed, I often step in. I can tell you first hand, it is exhausting. For me, the days the vets are not working, which at the most are only two days a week, are like a holiday. The other days, I go into the surgery an hour and a half before they start. I deflate the intubation tubes that have been used the day before, and I make sure the rooms are warm enough, amongst other duties. I call in the first few dogs of the day, make sure the correct paperwork is there and ready, and so much more to try to help ensure it is smooth running for the day, and to make the surgery (which is VERY expensive to run) as efficient as possible. The drugs ordered daily often add up to 14 thousand a month. This, and wages, plus outside vet bills are extremely heavy but also necessary. We then have a meds person who has a sheet the vets issued with the drugs needed per day and per dog. This could be ear or eye drops, pain relief, antibiotics, or special baths, and so much more. Some dogs receive eye drops every few hours till eyes settle. So, the meds person is also extremely busy with their book of over 50 dogs needing meds of some sort or other per day to issue, and nearly all needing the meds at least twice a day.

The people who have volunteered with us see how hard the staff work, and truly understand the intricate planning that’s needed to organize each day. However, without being here it's hard for me to just tell you in my diary. This is why I thought I would tell you about the opportunity to come and volunteer with us and how good it can be, as I see no negatives. This is especially for those who live far away. We are based in Wales near mountains and beaches. We have over 30 acres to walk dogs in, by streams, woodland and fields. We have a hook up for campervans, and a spot by the stream for tents. We are NOT a campsite, so after a hard but VERY rewarding day you would have peace.

The dogs are the rainbows of your soul… A working day between a staff member and a dog gives them time to learn to love and the ability to start to trust. For you it will give you a sense of purpose, a way to be creative and think of ways to help further, and a great restful and peaceful night knowing you have done your best. We would need you to book in advance, and would ask you to only bring your own dog(s) if you can leave them in your camper, etc while working, as they cannot walk around the kennels. Please think about this for next summer, as the dogs and us need your help. We would love more people to help Many Tears and to understand our work goals, and hopes for the future, where all dogs would be loved, respected and enjoyed.

We homed Tilly the other day to a wonderful home. Tilly was rescued in Ukraine when the war broke out. Very sadly, Tilly watched the front door of her new home, saw her chances, and ran the second the door was slightly ajar. Everyone was worried. We jiggled the staff around, grabbed her kennel buddy and two staff went off to try and find her. It was so terribly sad and we were all terrified of what could happen to our sweet Tilly. Chelsea, our yard manager and Joe took off with Tillys kennel mate in the van and a spare crate, a trap, cable ties and food. On arrival they scouted around and found a covered open barn near where Tilly had been seen. They set the trap and put her kennel friend in a crate beside.The crate was cable tied up, so it was really safe. They then stepped away and waited. Either Tilly was watching from afar or she smelt or heard her kennel mate, but within no time she appeared and went to her friend then to the food inside the trap, and then finally, she was caught. WHAT A RESULT. Back at the rescue we were all cheering. Now Tilly has gone back to her adopter, with Bryony, a lady who knows Tilly well, and worked with War Paws and Tilly in Ukraine, and with their back up as well as Many Tears of course. Chelsea and Joe are the heroes of the day, but all the staff cared so much, as I knew they would, it's truly heartwarming to watch.

We have had the usual stream of dogs being called in and arriving. Most have been very sad dogs, with very sad stories. Last week I picked up a red cocker who has been a breeding dog all her life, despite the fact she was living in a council flat. I picked her up with her friend who also had been used for breeding. This was a private home who had not bought her or acquired her to love and cherish, but to use. When I drove her home, I was so worried, she looked like she had given up on life. She would not even raise her head. Her body was covered in urine and her eyes crusty with infection. On arriving home, I bathed her as the vet was busy and the water ran yellow off her. Three shampoos and rinses later and a blow dry revealed a scrawny dry-eyed cocker with entropion. The vet examined her, and we weighed her and gave the normal health check, and all this week she’s had three meals a day. Today she has turned a corner, she is interested in life again and me. There are many dogs like her that go unnoticed, as the owners do not require a breeding license as they only breed a few. I really don’t understand the logic of that. Surely if only one, or one of many, every life is precious and should be properly cared for.

Two tiny little, microscopic chihuahua pups arrived. They have some sort of jean missing which means they are hairless. Everyone adores them, we even have the biggest man swooning over them, wheelchair bound people cuddling them, and staff with them snuggled in their pockets. Every time I visit them in their kennel they are missing. When you see their pictures, you will understand how they steal every one’s heart.
 

Now onto biting dogs. None of us want one, but some of us have got one. Some get rid of or have the vet put them to sleep, others manage them. Managing them is a matter of not making mistakes and not putting them in a situation that enables them to bite someone or something. My biter is Stan, he is a Russian black terrier who bites before he thinks. By 5 months old he was showing this trait, which is what this breed was originally bred for. The Russian army bred them, I believe solely as a working dog. They crossed Giant Schnauzers, Airdates, Rottweilers, and Caucasian shepherd dogs, plus one or two other breeds to achieve a dog that was fit for their purpose. I have had Stan a good 9 years now, and before I knew what he would do he was treated like any other dog I had. However, even as a young dog he was top of the litter, the one who ensured his needs were met first. We homed all his litter very carefully but when it got to Stan he stayed and stayed. We had him indoors with us before we found out what he could do. The first time it happened we thought it was a surprise reaction, as he came up suddenly on someone. The second time we realized it was in him to do this to people he did not know. He was taught to wear a muzzle; security measures were put on gates, doors etc so no one could walk in and make a mistake. 9 years have passed and I know if Bill or I mess up, then Stan probably will too. His life is literally in our hands. Everyone who knows Stan loves him, those who don’t know him, don’t ever get the chance, as one mistake could end his life. Now after all these years of him not biting one may think he’s cured, but I won’t play Russian roulette with our Russian black. I treat his care with respect and caution, so he can remain with this pack of humans and dogs till he crosses the rainbow bridge. My ethos is once the dog is with you it's like a marriage, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death we do part.

This week I am asking you to take a few minutes and consider something you’d rather not even ever think about. I won’t go into the graphic details, but there truly are some. Products you use are tested on animals, and without you knowing.. It's been proven that as animals are not made up like humans, these tests that include extreme suffering and cruelty are ridiculous, non-scientific, and barbaric, yet they go on and on. Only some of the UK public will give a minute to voice their distaste for this. However today I am asking you to sign a petition as the Welsh government DO fund some of this research and may fund more.. However, they will cut funding for all sorts of other things so they can meet their budgets. Please take a minute to read the link and info and if you agree to sign the petition, do it for yourself and all of the suffering animals, including the beautiful gentle beagles that once have suffered, who will most likely end up in the bin as a means to an end of their already painful life. As you see this is something that matters a lot to me and I feel for any dog lover. https://petitions.senedd.wales/petitions/246343 

Sadly, this year we have had so many cats and kittens called in, nearly all dumped, and some because people were moving and not wanting or able to take their feline friends. These cats can range from moggies to posh cats, Persians, Rag dolls, and Russian blues to name but a few. Nearly all come in uncastrated or unspayed. Before we rehome an animal, unless they are too young, we spay and neuter, microchip and worm. The kittens go with signed declarations to get them fixed at 16 weeks. Sadly, up here in Wales many consider them to be vermin. Now they have brought in compulsory microchipping. But to be honest I have found that the dogs that are unchipped, and returned to their owners one way or another, don’t even get a slap on the wrist by anyone. Funny how someone can make a law that no ones going to follow up on, but to get something banned, vivisection, etc it’s almost impossible.

Star, our little Bichon, is a brave little trooper. Her wounds are healing, though I think she will lose a third of her tail as it's gone dead. She was mauled before coming here, and I really thought we could lose her as the infection stunk. The minute I saw her I smelt her too, however, the antibiotics and care seemed to be working thanks to our vet and the care of the staff.

Quarrel, our grieving horse is still much the same. Alex the horse yard manager is going to visit a 25-year-old Welsh cob, whose owner cannot care for her and she is in great risk of being PTS. We try to send staff or a vet to visit, before we say yes, as it's not fair to an equine or us to bring a new horse in just to find it would have been kinder to put him or her to sleep if suffering. Hopefully I will have good news about that next week.

So that’s another wet dreary week passed. Every day I worry, but knowing the people who read this care, and want to make this a kinder, more humane world for our animals helps.

THANK YOU, Sylvia.

Another new week and what a start. Bill and I are up and out by 5:30 am, and it's dark here. We feed and check dogs then I get the surgery ready for vets. But Saturday was completely different. I went to check on the Husky “Slumber” while Bill got the feed shed ready. Slumber had had two pups, but decided the comfy whelping box with heat over head was just not to her taste, and decided the cold floor where she had scratched up all the new lino was perfect. The lino had cost a few hundred to be professionally laid on the ground and up the walls, not so long ago. I picked up the babies and put them in the whelping box and picked her up and did the same, ( I am supposed to pick up nothing, but when needs must I have too) I went to get Bill so we could work out how to block her preferred corner and got back to her, back where she started, She had moved them back to the cold corner. This time Bill did the lifting (he’s not supposed to lift either after his heart attack) but there was no choice. We put up a collapsible crate to block her chosen space, then blocked it off with a puppy pen. Thank goodness she accepted this, so all the family are warm and comfy.

Bill then went to feed the equines while I started feeding the dogs, but I heard him shouting and I rushed over. Marmite (maybe the naughtiest Shetland in Wales) had got his leg into a hay net, turned, and turned, fell over and was stuck upside down. He, on seeing Bill had thrashed about kicking Bill in his thigh. The tension on the net was such we could not untie it, and neither of us wanted to leave him with only one person. Together we lifted him (about a million times more weight than either should), got him to his feet, I untangled his leg, and he limped off for a drink. As the day went on his limp got better and better, and I am delighted to say he came off fine, just his two human rescuers who did not. All that before 6.30 in the morning…. Crazy!!!!!

One of the sweetest cockers ever was due to go to her home Saturday, but you know the saying, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” well I have learnt not to. May is the sweetest cocker, and every one thought it was a done deal that the family coming to adopt would fall in love with her and it would all end up happily ever after; sadly this was not to be. The lovely people turned up with their dog who was uncastrated. On meeting May he fell totally in love with her, (but not in the way we wanted) and being a sweetheart, she did not tell him off. He was relentless with his affection, so the adoption could not go ahead. Life has changed a lot since I started rescuing. It used to be that vets understood the necessity of spay neuters, and now many don’t want to do this anymore, and now May is stuck here. She came in having to undergo big surgery as she had mammary tumours. She was in recovery for a few weeks with a bodysuit. Now, in the evenings she goes to the office to get extra attention. When she goes in, she does a great clean up. You see, some of my dogs are in the office during the day until 4. Every walk or play time, they all bring back a ball, and then leave it under desks, in corners, buried in the bedding, just any place any one can trip over them. May however is an amazing ball girl, she collects up each and every ball and takes it to a raised bed, then seeks out the next and lies with them all. I was thinking, If you are a Wimbledon qualifier, just how nice it would be after practicing your serves to have a “MAY” assist retrieving the balls. Please look no further, as she was born for the job and is very efficient too, oh and a complete love.

This is Rocky, a kind boy that the vet could not bare to put to sleep when his owner did not want him, so called us. He is a super boxer cross and just a pup really. He had a meet and greet, but the people did not like him, why you may ask.... Well they said it was because he drooled. Actually, he only does this when he is very excited. POOR ROCKY x

When dogs come to us, 9 out of 10 times we have no idea what they have been fed. We are sponsored by a really good dog food company so our food is really top quality. However, changing food instantly, especially to really good nutritional value food, when the dog could have eaten only white bread can cause a bad tummy. Arden Grange, the company who sponsors us, has grain free food, which is our next go to. However, a good company called CSJ gave us some tubes of Probiotics. We started trying them on dogs that have bad tummies. It's been a real success. No vets visit or have to pay the stupid prices to corporations; you can buy direct. It's even vegan, and all made up from natural ingredients, have a look at CSJK9.com. I would share that gem with you, as it’s something everyone should have at hand. Of course, that does not mean you should skip a vet check if worried, but it seems to be a handy and effective tool. My dog Luca is learning to hold, and thought he would promote it too, to help his buddies’ tums.

On Sunday night I saw a darling Bishon come in. She had been repeatedly attacked by a Jack Russell. To save her life will be hard, as the infection was so bad, I smelt it instantly. I shaved her and cleaned all the bite wounds carefully, and she bravely stood, and though it was so painful to let me clean her, she did. The vet saw her and gave her some antibiotic injections and pain relief. As you will see by the pictures, we all need to say prayers for this darling.

A few months ago we were given two of the most picture-perfect little pups. Both sadly had high grade heart murmurs. I knew they were too tiny to undergo an operation to try to mend their broken heart so I asked a very special fosterer to help. Milica took them into her home and loved them and cherished them, but before they were big enough for the surgery one died from heart failure whilst at the vets. Still too small to operate, Milica cared for the other pup, but sadly that pup died too. Milica buried them side by side. Milica has fostered so many heart patients, sadly some were lost as the operation was not successful. However, some are mended and homed. She is a wonderful, kind and dedicated fosterer, and I am SO grateful to her and others like her who give our dogs a chance of finding forever homes, and even if that fails, they are at least out of kennels being loved and cherished.

Quarrel is now our second longest staying equine. He used to have a stable and a yard that had our beautiful Guiarjiro beside him, and he roamed the fields with wonderful Molly too. Both have been lost within a short time of each other. Quarles mental health seems to have taken a bad turn. First, we had the vet do an examination and take bloods, but nothing was found. He's lost his sparkle and is what I can only describe as he is a really sad boy. He is worrying me a lot, and I am thinking of helping an older mare possibly from slaughter that could be a companion to him. He certainly shares no love for his neighbour at the moment. You know the book Black Beauty by Anna Swell was written to highlight the miss-use of equines, of their deep bonds with other horses, and with the sad abuse of horses. Children all over America were given copies of this book to teach them about horses. It was those children who wrote to the White House and stopped mustangs being hunted down and treated so disgustingly. Stopping stallions having their eyes shot out so they would herd into meat containers with their mares and foals faithfully following, stopped the mustangs being herded by helicopter until they literally had no hoofs left. All these changes because of one book and thousands of amazing children, and all started because of one rancher’s wife in the states, Velma Johnston. I so wish all UK horse owners could share the compassion and love of horses that Anna Swell had. She dictated some of Black Beauty as was sometimes too ill to write, she died a year after it was published. Getting a horse is a Huge responsibility. We cannot be with them all the time, but their equine friends are, they too have mental health problems.
 

Thank you again for supporting the rescue, reading my diary, but most of all for caring. Sylvia x

It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting in a car park and the van is swaying side to side with the wind building.
I’m in Southern Ireland at the moment I think, but really can’t be sure unless I go in and buy something in the petrol station and then find I would be paying Euros and not Pounds.
I was due to come tomorrow but the ferry company have cancelled all the ferries from now onwards for the next few days and I have dogs in Ireland waiting for me and every day counts for them.
We were lucky and got to change one booking we had made but could not change the return booking, so I got up last night late and I drove to the ferry I could get booked onto and boarded it. It was not a bad crossing and I have driven part the way to my destination, but I can’t get a ferry home till Monday night, so somehow I’ve got to kill time.
Alhough I’m desperate to pick up the dogs, I don’t want to collect them today as then they would be in the van for a long time, so now have to kill time and that’s very hard for me to do. I’m always busy so I’ve brought a whole load of paperwork with me, and that’s what I will do, but not just now it’s still early in the morning, and I’m still getting my bearings and getting myself comfortable.
On the other hand, Joyce who is the other driver of us has driven miles and she went all over the place picking up dogs and this coming week she’s got to do it all over again. We truly appreciate her time and dedication hopefully by tbe time you read this we will both be home safely.
Both Joyce and I are absolutely hopeless going somewhere and not picking up every dog we are offered, in fact in all our history we have always done this, the old young what ever we took all we could.

This coming week is going to be very busy; we have a new Vet Nurse Assistantstarting who is actually a vet, but qualified in a different country and is just doing the exams to be a vet here too.
There are just so many different sides of the rescue unfolding...
We have got a new office converted in the house's sitting room. All the Support Team workers will be working from that new office bar one. It will make it so much easier for us all to be under one roof so to speak and be able to just walk out the door and talk to each other and make sure it’s all working.

Many Tears changed from a little place to a huge organisation. It’s grown and grown and now there’s over 63 paid staff and though if you’re looking our bank account it looks like we’re doing well but the truth is in fact, if you knew the running costs you would see how quickly the funds are eaten up... yet we have managed to stay like a family run organisation and that’s because of communication and talking to each other and listening.

The one thing I try not to do is wear my heart on my sleeve, and that’s been very hard and I feel very isolated a lot of time. The dogs are my world and I feel for them desperately, at night when they’re howling for their loved ones it absolutely breaks me hence our Fosterers are so, so important to me and the dogs.

Next year I’m going to do different things to show our appreciation. I am hoping we are going to have a camping weekend for the Fosters and maybe for others,where they can come and the staff or myself will take them on our favourite walk, and then they can go back to their tents or campers with their dogs and maybe in the evening will have a barbecue or something.I’m going to try and make it more fun for everyone as well as making it so we raise a little bit of money along the way.
I think it’s so important everyone who reads this everyone who helps us, everyone who cares feels appreciated so we never lose that family feel and we never get into the feeling of a corporate dog rescue, which would be so sad.
I know I won’t be around forever to do this but I feel that the people working at the present all feel that way too we have wonderful Trustees who help us always by keeping us going in the right direction which is great thing.

We seem to be getting inundated with Cockers now and some of them sadly have PRA which is disease cookers get causing them to go blind. l also believe labradors are prone to this too. If people breed dogs that have PRA they can produce puppies that when they get to 3 or 4 go totally blind and there’s nothing that can be done about it. That of course that is very sad, they do learn to live without their eyes. I myself have a blind dog. He hasn’t got PRA but ge was born without eyes properly formed and has no sight whether even light and dark,however you should see him galloping across the field, if he can hear you, he is absolutely fine. I feel sad for him often, but he has never known his eyes, though these PRA dogs obviously have.

During this pick up I will add to the diary each day, this will be a small pick up this time but it’s still an expensive run because the fuel and ferry are all expensive especially when you are not full.
We live near the South so it’s easier for me to go from Rosslare to Fishguard. Then I drive up to the north pick up the dogs and go home.
Northern Irish dogs require no passport, but I could not drive to a Southern Irish port with them to come home. Hence the very long journey.
The ferry from Belfast to Liverpool is an enormous ferry so hopefully it won’t get cancelled too. I must drive now. It’s late at night and I’m lying here knowing that I must get up very early in the morning to start driving around up here picking up the dogs. It’s a real privilege for me to do this and see them all happy in their crates in the van on the journey home.
But while I lie here I’m thinking of three of the dogs back home, the reason for this is all three make me think of my life when I lived in Arizona. One is an Akita, a beautiful white female dog that we rescued from the pound just before they put her to sleep,and the others are two very handsome and beautiful Malamutes that were imported from Russia as puppies. I will go back to them after I ramble on about why they are so dear to me and conjour up so many memories.

When I moved to Arizona I thought life would be different, that I would have time to start to enjoy it, I would have time time to make friends and time for my family, but I didn’t. I thought I wouldn’t live from day today worrying about dogs,and spending every moment trying to save, them but that didn’t happen either.
Then when I married Bill I thought he wanted a different woman,one that would want to embrace family life cooking, cleaning,and being there to love him, but thank God he accepted me the way I really am. Most weeks I found a dog or two or more,but there was one dog that really brings back a lot of memories.
Where we lived which was Tucson Arizona you were required to give your dogs rabies jabs once a year. The vet would then give you a little piece of paper that you took to animal control, which was also the dog pound and they issued you an annual tag for the dog to wear. This was a super cool system and you were fined if the dog was found with out one.
The tag was also super cool as it was in the shape of Arizona and I always put these tags on my dogs collars with pride. However the pound was very clever. When you had to line up to get to the little window to give your ticket and get your tag issued you also had to walk alongside the dogs that were about to be killed. When the dogs first came in they were in part of the pound and slowly moved around Kennels nearer and nearer to the death row.
Anyone who loves dogs would find it very hard looking at that and of course Bill and I did too, so when I was getting issued with a tag ( and I went a lot of times because of course I had a lot of dogs that were all adopted at different times) I saw these poor dogs and yes of course had to save those I could.

One time I saw a huge dog. He was a wolf mix dog, about the size of a Great Dane bitch. Knowing this Pound did not adopt out wolf dogs or pitbull types to anyone but the original owners who could come and claim them, I knew he had little or no chance of surviving. He was like two others that we had at home. Both of us felt very sad. Bill acted as look-out and I took his files out of his plastic sleeve that hung on his door and read where he was found and then Bill and I, like Sherlock Holmes drove a good 30 miles away to the middle of the desert.

Lots of very poor people lived in lorry backs and old camper vans that no longer worked that had possibly been dumped years before, places only rattle snakes liked to live. Places with no electricity. Sometimes it was 120 degrees fahrenheit and there was no way of making it cooler, no televisions, nothing... just a place to live. We wandered around the area and asked people if they knew the dog, and some did as he had been roaming for awhile, but some people knew where he’d come from, as in which trailer. So we banged on the trailers door nearly putting our hands through the flimsy, rotten wood of the door. A young guy came out. We asked him if he owned this big dog and he said yes he did, and we told him the dog was in the pound and was going to be killed. He was very sad but he said he could no longer pay for food or pay to get the dog out, so we said to him if we gave him $25 would he come with us to get the dog. Then we could pay the fine to get the dog out, and then he could hand him over to us. He was keen for the $25 and to save the dog. He got in our car, but sat on his glasses and began to cry. He could not afford new glasses and he was in total despair. Lovely Bill stopped at a Specsavers type shop and bought him two pairs of glasses and when he claimed the dog who was 7/8 wolf and a tiny bit of Malamute, Bill gave him extra money and delivered him home to his grotty trailer a little richer.

The dog was a stunning huge matted canine. A creamy silver colour with of grey on top of the beautiful but matted coat. He had been a very lucky dog to be saved, but I couldn’t bear to call him just Lucky, so I called him Fluke. Once he settled and trusted me, which was achieved through hours and hours of grooming, he would ride in tbe back of Bills open truck, paws on the cabs roof enjoying the breeze as Bill collected the hay from the adjoining ranch for our horses. We rescued him to rehome him, but secretly I wanted to keep him. This was not to be. I was going into the vets where my friend worked to get Fluke his rabies shot, when the women who had the appointment before me came out and took one look at me and Fluke and burst into tears.
Nancy my friend and vet nurse explained she had just lost her wolf hybrid and was mourning his loss . I took Fluke home and about three weeks later Nancy asked if he was looking for a home as her client was asking. I went and looked at her place and it was amazing so Fluke left me for a new life .
The two malamutes remind me of Fluke and thoughts of years I spent in the Senorian Sesert the three thousand plus’s miles I rode for charity sponsorship, and the time when life was so much less complicated than it is now.
The female malamute relies totally on the male. Homing one would be hard, but homing two could be thought as an impossibility, but “believe to achieve “ The two went through possibly a terrifying journey as young influential pups from Russia and I cannot bare to let the handsome boy be homed without his beautiful female companion, who also went through life saving surgery here, as when spayed was found to have retained two afterbirths that were slowly rotting away inside of her.

When I moved to North Carolina and ran a Humane Society (one I took on an as an inhumane society) many folks could not afford adoption fees, they were not bad people just poor people. Dogs and pups were given away free all over the place so they would get one of those, bit could not afford to spay them, and they would have more pups. So I opened a little shop and sold anything I could.
With the funds raised I let people adopt free, and we had the funds to spay and neuter the dogs and cats.
This way not every dog that stepped in or was poled through those doors died( though most did)
Here in the UK we have lovely people who cannot afford the adoption fee as have spent loads on their old dogs last days. But they can afford insurance.
So if there is someone like that out there who will adopt our beautiful Akita, who here is no problem at all, or the two stunning Makamutes I will personally try to pay most of their adoption fees for you, if you assure me you can afford to keep them property love honour and respect them and their needs.
 

I guess I must try to sleep now, I have a few prayers to say first, this a worrying week!
I’ve been out on the road all day I’ve gone through black skys, pouring rain, and heavy winds. I have 35 dogs on board all snuggling in duvets, all bar one almost silent.
I think we are in for a rough trip so hope it all goes well. Most of the dogs on board seem to be cockers, most golden.
I can’t wait for Stena lines breakfast as I am known as “the sausage lady,” I get two empty coffee mugs and lids, and as many sausages as possible, cut them up to bite size pieces and share them amongst the dogs. I don’t eat any breakfast so the staff usually give extra.
The sausages are warm and smell wonderful, and as long as I don’t expect them to take from my hand all eat and enjoy always. But we are another good few hours away from that.
Next I need to go through customs, this depending on the staff can be completely stress free or completely stressful. You are either treated like human trying to help the dogs, or a smuggler, drug dealer and villains. I will let you know which in a few hours...

Great !!!I had kind staff who did not yell, looe their tempers, or treat me badly, so now I am waiting for the ferry.

Off the ferry now having fed sausages, watered and cleaned my passengers.
One very sad cocker with terrible ears won’t raise her head.
The journey is so hard for some, as all they have ever known is where they have lived before. She will be my priority once home.
The drive home is long and boring, thank goodness for talking books.

At home now, all get off to see the vet accept my little cocker lady “Fiasco”. I take her to shave and clean her ears, bath her, as she is really too matted to get a flea spot on onto her skin and dry.
She is a sweetie. I take her then to the vets, and ear medicines are prescribed, and she gets a spot on for her lice problem and is wormed too. She will go back tomorrow to the vets to see how she’s doing.

I go back to see Fiasco, she is thrilled at being with her friends and her snuggly bed and heated lamp, a changed dog, I am SO pleased.

Next Joyce will be back. She’s been up North and picked up Chows and Bulldog crosses. Not easy dogs to home at all, many with cherry eyes, some with entropians, all expensive and all unwanted.
As I said earlier, we pick up all we can, and these were no exception. It is not their fault they were born into this world. Let’s change their luck!!!

Another exhausting week, I find Bill too has been picking up dogs whilst Joyce and I were too. We have had terribly sad calls of desperate people trying to save their dogs that would need to be PTS otherwise.
Even yesterday we had a call from as lady, her 1 year old child and her dog are to be made homeless today, and if the dog is not found a home for must be put to sleep otherwise the lady must sleep in her car with the child and dog, as council cannot help her with a dog. She tried everywhere. We are going to help. But this is only one of MANY stories we get each day.

Without you all we could never go on helping so many. You are all angels, and I am blessed you believe in us and help us save so many.

Sylvia x

  

Yet another week of dramas, tears and joys.  I truly understand the pain of loss and am faced with others going through the same pain each day. We all want we have lost, and any one thing can send our emotions over the top and the flood gates open. For me it was simply a note stuck on the back of the wall cabinet door in our kitchen. It was yesterday evening and I went to get our dogs' meds that live in that cupboard and I noticed the scrap of paper stuck on the door. It was a list of dog’s names and their meds and on there was the name of ”Light”, my truly amazing dog, my friend and everyone who met him friend. A mass of memories came back and the tears flowed. Time does not heal, that’s a stupid expression, time just makes you process your loss.

The people I met by the gate the other week who were emptying their car of their old dog who had passed, blankets etc and who were so so sad adopted a puppy this week. This was what they needed but some cannot move forwards or feel they are betraying the dog they lost. All I know is if you have an empty space in your home, to me one day, in honour of your dog, please fill it with another, whether to foster or adopt.

Still daily people are sending emails saying they must put their dog to sleep if no one will take it and there is only so much room in the rescues, so some very innocent dogs are dying these days, but not here.  However, everyone faces this terrible situation in their own way. Today a wonderful 85-year-old lady who lost her dog used her time and grief to do something good for others.  She rallied up her community’s support and with a driver brought up a carload of blankets and towels.

Joyce was off driving all over the country picking up dogs, she left at silly o'clock and I wish I could help her more but driving is near on agony at present so I am driving as little as possible. She returned with 10 dogs and pups and so the cycle begins again of bathing, health checks, booking in, spaying/neutering and the heart ache. A few weeks ago, we picked up three English setters, a handsome male, and a skinny female and her 9 month skinny pup. The male was homed, the pup was found to have tiny, shriveled kidneys and as was suffering so  had to be put to sleep. The female had a huge mammary mass that our vet spent three hours taking all he could. Sadly the laboratory has come back to us to tell us her prognosis is very poor. It literally breaks my heart. She and her 10-month pup had found a safe loving place and the chance of a happy ever after and both will not get the chance of this. I don’t just feel sad I feel furious with this unjust world.  I am not the only one who is suffering. The staff, the fosterers, all of us are subject to seeing neglect and great sadness, yet we all continue, for there are some amazing outcomes too.

Amouret who came in so sore and bald has now got a blue merle coat. She was spayed today and is ready for a home. She was being put to sleep in a local pound but the lovely dog warden reached out to us and we helped. Rocco, Isabel and Tinkerbell three wonderful springer/cockers came in and now are also spayed.  Two are already reserved for home and just Tinkerbell is waiting for someone to want her. Tomorrow the vet must remove two bulbous blind eyes from a pug to stop her suffering and give her a chance of a home. “Summertime” our towel eater who has survived an amazing operation was spayed ready for a home today too. These are all stories of dog's courage. Just this week we have picked up two pups with three legs each,  one blind pup and so many others.

In the meantime, I am organizing pickup drivers and worrying about dogs we have tried to find space for in their own areas but could not. The worry eats you up, it is so bad that I grind my teeth so wear a gum guard but have worn through it.

My broken back feels worse and it feels like my doctor, ER and the NHS don’t care.  My toes are numb and standing, sitting and actually existing is really tough. I should not complain but it’s got to the point I just need to vent a little.

We are still in great need of fosterers for old, young, friendly, timid, scared and the shutdown ones who have given up on life ones too. Your dog could be their mentor and you could help a dog find the people all dogs deserve but finding fosters who understand is very hard. The ones we have are amazing but still dogs wait and wait for their chance of happiness.

x
I watched the horse staff in the pouring rain exercising, walking, grooming and caring for our equines.  I thought how lucky they are, as our equines get love, respect, enrichment, and never spend a day being bored. The two very naughty donkey brothers' next venture is to learn to drive as a pair. This will be a real feat, as they are scallywags and more interested in their own pleasures than pleasing us. But our horse staff will add their magic as they did when their poor mum and dad and other donkeys were abandoned.  We took them all in,  pregnant, untrusting, lice ridden and starving. The mums are homed now, as is one of the babies but the brothers stayed. I never want them to be stuck in some scrubby field as ornaments, hence we will teach them some skills.

Now to get on to dogs and husbands. I for the past 20 years have learnt that shouting, screaming, crying and being dominant or forceful works badly on both man and animals (especially husbands and dogs). With dogs my way of training is what I call “canine kidology”.  With Midnight my Romanian dog even now after many years I let her think it's all her idea by setting up the situation just right. I can get what I need from her and she is pleased to do the action and also get praise for it.

With Bill I use the same tactics - plan, suggest, praise and reward. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but I try to listen to Bill’s voice or a dogs body language to see why and it has led to a much more harmonious relationship than many have and one that works well for the dogs in my life whether my own family or others and for Bill and I. This is what I have been using on Sage, a very smart horse we have here and that’s what we are trying to use on the donkey brothers too.  However that’s a little more complicated, as it does take both parties to listen, and when you could be biting each other’s knees, squealing and bucking around, well what’s the point of listening to a human?

Because of the generosity of those reading this diary we have had extra funds and been able to send canines to specialist eye clinics, to heart specialists and have an extra vet this week spaying, so more can move on and make space for others. What I want to say is thank you again for your support, your kind words and your love for dogs, as together we can definitely make this world a better place.
Sylvia x

A new week starts and I had hoped it wouldn’t be as stressful as previous weeks, however there seems to be no let out for me at all. On Saturday a lovely little Shih Tzu bitch who was extremely pregnant dropped a puppy unexpectedly and then didn’t want to have anything to do with it. In fact she mauled her before we found her. I took her  away from her and called a vet and it was decided because the dog was so hard to handle and so fearful and not at all interested in puppies that we should do a C-section and remove the puppies and hand raise them.  Bill was good enough to take the mum with all the pups still inside her and the one puppy that had been mauled (as we had no vet on site)  to an outside vet and get a C-section done. She came back very groggy and we tried the best we could to hand raise the nine puppies that looked premature and strange. Over the next day and a half every single puppy died. It’s been heartbreaking and with all the effort that so many put in it’s been a bad downer on all our hearts.

While this was going on so many other things were happening, I was being called backwards and forwards from one problem to another ranging from people wanting to adopt the wrong dog and needing to be talked with, to people wanting to give up their dogs, to staff being ill. On top of that my back has felt worse than ever, if only I could get her MRI on it now, I would know if I’m doing more damage just walking around with a broken back but doesn’t seem possible.

We had a good foster run and a few very special dogs got to homes. One fosterer took a lovely hound called Ranger and that was really good and cheered me up  to see him the next day on a video running around the garden playing with another dog.


Sadly it’s been raining and just when you think it’s going to stop it starts again but how can I complain with all these people in different countries losing their homes because of the terrible rain. Not only is the weather terrible,  I’m now on my way to Southern Ireland to pick up dogs and this is extremely stressful. Luckily Joyce has come with me this time to make sure the paperwork was spot on and everything is right.  We drove all day after leaving at 6am and picked up 43 beautiful dogs and now we’re waiting for the boat to dock.  Next we have to go through customs, which is always a horrible thing to do, as you often be made to feel like you’re a villain and then we get home about 12 o’clock at night or maybe more like 12.30.  The dogs are then unloaded and we make them comfy and by 2am I should be in bed but will be up at 5am and ready for the next day! This job is my life. There is no time for anything else. I’m very lucky to have a husband who not only accepts this but helps me and supports the rescue.

Now a plea from the dogs via me. The dogs would love to break free kennels. The quickest and most effective way is to be adopted or fostered, however we need more fosterers and homes.  We have one of the few foster programs where you NEVER have to let a dog go if when seeing the application or meeting the prospective foster dogs you are not happy.  This means most fosterers keep in touch with their foster dogs' new homes and sleep easy. We take dogs down the M4 corridor and meet at services, and sometimes go further afield. It's not hard to become a fosterer and once you are it means a hell of a lot to the dogs you take and helps set them up to find a forever home as you can socialize, educate and love that dog first.

I am thinking of Jiffy when I hope for a foster home. We picked him up in Ireland. He was in such a matted mess that we could not tell if he was a male or female. Once home, I fed him but the next day decided he was so matted he would need to go into the vet and be shaved. The vet knocked him out and two of us carefully shaved all of him but managed to save his ears and tail. His history was unknown - a breeder’s neighbour was in care now and he was asked to take the dog and in turn asked us. Jiffy came to us with no name and is 17.3 kilos and is perhaps 12 years old. He is already castrated and has cataracts starting that you often see in old dogs. We think he is over 10. He would love a kind home that will groom and care for him and slowly get his weight down to insure longer life, but who wants a dog like him?  Well maybe a fosterer could change his sad life?

I am the world’s worst fosterer. Once a dog steps into my home it's all over, I try and not do this but just don’t succeed, hence we share our home with 14 dogs!!!! Ally was one of those. She was one I picked up in Northern Ireland. The breeder had her in a stable waiting for me and it was freezing that day. She did not walk so this little lab was carried and put in a crate in the van. I noticed her backbone stood out as she was carried past me, but not till away and down the road did I check her out. She had a huge belly and at first, I thought it was filled with gas, and maybe she had a stomach torsion, but on feeding her she appeared starving. I then thought she was in pup, but her belly did not feel like others I had seen pregnant. I monitored her all the way home and as there was no vet at the rescue that day,  I took her to Emerald Vets where Tom was working. Ally’s organs had shut down and we found out later after blood tests) this was that this was due to starvation and there was so much fluid build up in her it was pressing on her other organs, Tom drained a ridiculous amount of fluid from her and I took her home to nurse. Other vets said I should put her to sleep but me and my God disagreed.

Then Luca (another of my failed foster dogs!) stepped in. Ally started to feel stronger and when everyone went home, Luca and I would sit with Ally and open her door to encourage her to come out. Ally was not feral but terrified of the world and everyone including me. However, Luca was like a magnet to Ally and they soon became inseparable friends and partners in crime. Ally did nothing I told or encouraged her to do, but copied everything Luca did, so as Luca came when called and Ally shadowed him this was how we started. This went on for some weeks and then I thought she ought to learn to set foot in reception, then in the house and slowly she learnt life was not so scary as long as Luca was there.  And you know what I said about one foot in my door?  Well yes she became part of the family too.

Thank you for your support.  It means more than you will ever know and has enabled us to keep saving many precious lives.   The dogs have raised beds and Summertime, who is improving every day, is comfortable but unable to chew her bedding as she and others have these splendid beds that hopefully all the kennels will have one day.
THANK YOU
Sylvia

Why cant dramas happen all on the same day, so I have some warning then I could get up earlier and try to be stronger? Instead, they happen when you're unprepared and your heads' already in a muddle. Lots of staff off poorly all week, especially today. Bill and I got up at am,5 fed dogs and pups and got the feed room ready for the staff.
We went to the barn to move things, ( Neither of us should be lifting, ) but it could not wait.
Got back to instruct the equine team where to move the donkeys to and what feed to give them as they were being castrated that morning.
Then an early adopter came, her dog was taken to her…… and then everything went wrong.

A poor cockerpoo who came to us already pregnant, and we were told by a vet would give birth in a week was so stressed when her kennel friends was adopted that she gave  birth to a puppy. The pup appeared to be premature and she would not look at it or go near it.
Though the poor little thing probably won’t survive, I will do my best and am tube feeding him colostrum and saying a prayer.
However, in between this and various other problems were unfolding, and all this before 10am....EXHAUSTING !!!!!

By 12 noon, four pups had come and only three of them did she accept, so now there were two pups to tube feed.

Come 2pm a Golden Retriever was quiet, lethargic and looking unwell. I took her temperature and monitored her respiration and heart rate. I had no vet here but felt something  was very wrong. 
I called around to find a vet and while waiting scanned her. Everything was very still inside her and I could see an irregular dark mass I could not identify. Tom the local vet answered my call, and after an hour Summertime was in his expert hands.
Tom decided he had no choice but to open her up. He found she had eaten bedding or something. Possibly long before arriving with us, but we could not be sure.
He took her small intestines out of her body and after four separate individual incisions, cutting, one then closing then another and another, each time changing his gloves, the drapes and being so so careful, he then opened her belly.
From these four sites over about two feet of matter ( faecal matter and towel-like, stringy, intertwined bits ) were removed. Tom put the intestines back and closed her. Tom then recovered her and I cleaned up. This all took around 5 hours and both Tom and I were exhausted. I got up in the night to monitor her.

Chelsea took the hand raisers to tube feed. And we all prayed. All night I thought about the bedding, the bored and stressed dogs who could eat it. The ones we wont give bedding to as we have seen them eat it. I thought maybe we should get a load of raised beds for them all especially for those who can chew bedding, but then I looked at the cost of raised dog beds and it would be a huge feat to get all the dogs these raised, comfortable beds but we have them on our Wishlist and we hope some will be donated.

Update - Only one of the little hand raisers has survived so far, but the mummy is still raising three successfully at this time.
Three days passed and Summertime the retriever picked up a little and our vet Frank and the nurses stayed in touch with Tom, discussing her care. Today she is not doing well. Tom came to visit her and Frank and him talked over her case, she is surrounded by those who deeply care, and professionals with knowledge and deep love and passion for their job.

We are doing all we can, and now all that’s left is for us all to pray. Last night I had to give meds and she picked up again. So slowly I am more hopeful. The sweet beagle pups in foster with a family will undoubtedly be the best socialised pups in the land!

We are still busy as ever and all of us are so tired. I hope this gives you an insight in what it is really like running a rescue.

Thank you for your continued support. Sylvia

Just another day in paradise. That’s what Bill says when asked how his day has been.. However, despite all the ups and downs of past weeks and weeks to come, working with this team, these animals, this job, well it is really “paradise.” I have strived to make it this way for the dogs that come to us so troubled. A bit of luxury and the promise of lasting bliss. I also try to make it a good place for the staff, but really, it’s the animals that do that job best. Every day is different, different sadnesses, different happinesses and different surprises. Yesterday’s surprise was 5 puppies born. We knew they were coming, but only because when the vet opened the mum to spay her, he saw them, so popped them back in. Then yesterday, with no help she presented us with 5 beautiful puppies that seem to be well cared for and doing very well so far. That was yesterday’s surprise, then yesterday’s joy was to see the Beagle puppies growing up, nearly off their bottle and learning to try to drink from a bowl, though that’s a very messy experience!

The sadnesses are the nights, quite a few dogs have come in from homes this week.. some from homes where owners have died, some from homes where owners have been made homeless and another from a vet who refused to put a healthy dog to sleep. The nights are tough for these guys in kennels and they howl calling for their loved ones, whether canine or human. Then, others join in and sometimes I cry too with them.

Summer is nearly over and the equines who love being out in the field have had so little time out this year as the rain has been just terrible. I have spent time in the evenings with them scratching, bonding, and trying to be one step ahead of our Arab cross who is too smart for his socks. I go in to chat and he’s undone my laces. I bend to do them up and he’s whipped off my radio. I scratch his neck and he’s emptied my pockets of tissues and dog treats or best still horse treats. I taught him a few tricks and when he sees me and only me, he does them before being cued, like a border collie showing off all its tricks before the clicker is even out of the pocket of the trainer.

That brings me to the collies here… how they hate kennels and the sadness they feel if their owners die. I guess with their smarts, the loyalty is deeper than can be imagined. Bess the collie has come to us as her owner passed away and she is so sad that we are finding her hard to feed. Another two dogs called Tilly and Rex lost their homes after 10 years as their people split up. I think those two were the howlers last night.

The operations on the dogs this week have been epic. Huge mammary strips to remove, large uncomfortable tumours to remove as well as lots of teeth. As well as many sore ears and eyes. All of this takes up a lot of the vets and vet nurse’s time. On top of that, the bills for medication range between £7-14k a month, the servicing of the equipment more and so on.

We are blessed to have the veterinary surgery here on site, and it does save a lot of money, but the adoption fees rarely cover the staffs wages and vets procedures. Everything is getting tougher and tougher each day.

The weekend will soon be here and that will hopefully bring wonderful new homes for these sweethearts. It also brings more people to our coffee room that is supposed to be a place to relax until we can see and help people, some of which have driven literally hundreds of miles. However ALL of our lovely mugs have gone walk about. We have tried buying paper cups too, but all disappear. I don’t mind if they aren’t matching, but if you have a spare mug, please bring it our way, we would be so grateful.

Thank you for your support and interest in our wonderful rescue.
Sylvia x

Do you know that feeling when you are so tired you know if you fall to sleep someone will find you,  mouth open and dribbling, asleep and comatosed?  Well that’s me now! Even to smile is an effort. The build up to going to Ireland and picking up the dogs is so draining both mentally and physically. Not only do vans have to be checked, made up ready for the dogs and maintenance wise checked but the paperwork must be double, tripled and quadrupled checked. This is because dogs are given the rabies vaccine 3 weeks and longer before you collect them and things change.

I have never forgotten a dog but that’s because of my paranoia about the pickups but I am human too and if on the day you have a migraine, terrible worries or have lost your glasses, it makes no difference everything has to run smoothly. Others are involved, others with lives and worries, just like me but if one of us in the chain of people involved messes up the dog cannot come so I check and check and check and it's draining.

The week before going I get a migraine, we call it an ”Irish migraine “. This has happened the last 7 years or so - Always. This time there were over 70 dogs paperwork to check and one slip is all it takes for the dogs not to come.  Each dog has a chip number of 15 digits, a date of birth (yet more digits) and every bit of paperwork must be checked.  No numbers can accidentally be written round the wrong way, everything MUST be perfect. The worry is mind blowing, the responsibility extreme, the consequences if wrong unbearable. 

My backs been so painful that the whole trip just felt like torture. So why put myself through that each month you may ask? Well come and walk round, come and see who came back on the trip with me Joyce and Step and tell me you would not make the effort.  The dogs are simply WONDERFUL.  Each with their own personalities, fears and worries for us to conquer. It’s a real privilege to have the chance to change their lives. The worst thing is all this worry time and paranoia is only for bureaucracy, as this is all for one of those laws that is RUBBISH. You see it is only because of a law that no one is challenging that makes every dog from Southern Ireland have a passport or similar paperwork, costing the UK millions each year for customs checks and all that goes with it. Look it up yourself, Southern Ireland’s been free of rabies since 1903 and England since 1922.  When I started taking Southern Irish dogs there were no passports needed but the EU changed this and it never changed back. Now taxpayers money goes on troops of customs animal welfare etc employees to check, prosecute and in some cases take to court and jail people.

I cannot take time off as the next day is the day all the dogs have to see the vet and get wormed etc. it’s a busy day that needs careful organising, so the vet is not left standing around. Everyone worked so well together, and the dogs kept us all cheerful.

The lovely Cypriot dogs are still waiting to be saved. With your help we have the funds for two of the ten. I had hoped for more and I know in Cyprus they are fundraising too but we will just pray for a miracle. The beautiful cavalier pups are still with us and it won't be long till they can see a specialist to see if their broken hearts can be mended. The thought of raising the money for all that is also a worry but I have plans.

Amarette came into our lives. The dog warden called her into the rescue and Chelsea, one of the yard managers said yes we would take her. She was going to be put to sleep at the pound as no one wanted her. She came in scared in a real state and itchy. Yet another Frenchie with allergies, terrible conformation and little hope. However, despite looking like a miniature hippo or little grey piglet, her wonderful personality and character completely outshines her terrible appearance. I felt so sorry for her every morning that after my early morning chores, I took her into the front reception to do paperwork with me. What a distraction!!! I gave her a tennis ball and she played and still does play with it, endlessly rolling the ball and catching it with her front paws, picking it up again and shaking it and it slips from her mouth and the game starts all over again. Her skin is settling on a raw diet and her life is being changed around. No matter how tired I am, she makes me smile and even laugh. She has been my tonic this week.

Two of our long-term fosterers have died this week, Wendy West and Joyce Wishart will be missed.  Both wonderful senior ladies with a great love of dogs.

Jenna and her partner  took donated bric-a-brac and goods to a boot sale and raised over £400. It was a splendid effort especially as the first day they were rained out.  If everyone did one boot sale a year, we maybe could squeak through this year that’s going so badly.  However people's lives are busy and not everyone has the passion I do and us all being different makes the word go around. People look at our accounts and say why do you need more money, well with wages of over £120,000 a month for the 75 plus staff you may understand.  We have that many staff as our dogs need that special care, we don’t pay huge wages but do have huge responsibilities on our shoulders.

Yesterday as I walked out the front gates a lady and her husband unloaded dog food, beds and useful things. The man was quiet and the lady was desperately trying to be tough and not cry. She took me to one side and burst into tears. She told me how she had just lost their dog and I told her I had too. We sat on the bench both sobbing. I had had my boy's ashes back that morning and could not wait for the day to finish and everyone to leave so I could let his ashes go and say goodbye forever. The lady thanked me for 6 wonderful years with her dog. Neither of us could settle so we went for a short walk to see our wonderful play yard and calm down.  Me not wanting the staff to see me broken down and her, her husband. When we got back we pulled ourselves together and calmed down.

Grief and regrets go on for years.  In fact for me forever but helping others both animal and human and the pressure of the work and not to let anyone down keeps me going, but the long nights are just terrible.  Many of you knew my boy, hand raised and loved so much.  He kept me sane and saved me.  He walked with me on my sponsored walks, lay by my side for 14 years and as named was my “Light”

Thank you for reading my diary, supporting and being there to help us all get through even the darkest hours. 
Sylvia

This morning at 5am in the middle of August I had to wrap up in layers as it was SO cold. Usually, we do not have to have heat lamps on at this time of the year, but almost all summer we have had to. I can see why people wish to escape to warm, sunny countries to try to refresh their batteries. I personally can never go anywhere without looking at the politics of a country towards animals. Turkey is a place so many choose for their holiday, but did you know that if you are there and see a dog stray on the street, he or she is in great danger. I was told that a bill has been passed to cull the strays and they are being shot on the streets in front of anyone there. I have got caught up with strays everywhere I travel and ended up bringing them home, some in the past I paid for long 6 months quarantine and then homed. I just could not bear to try to enjoy a holiday whilst this was going on.   If you feel as I do please sign this petition https://www.drove.com/campaign/6696550f245bf7adb5d22f90

Two tiny munchkins arrived this week with severe heart murmurs. As you hold them you can feel their little hearts vibrate. We are thinking they have holes in their hearts. This can be corrected with a little balloon like device, at the cost of around £6,000 each, and this is chargeable even if the operation isn’t a success. At this time where we have so many huge operations I am truly worrying how this year will pan out for Many Tears.  My job is not just as a CEO but also I have to worry for the future of the rescue and the day to days worries. All this seems impossible some days.

We have been blessed with some amazing homes for our dogs this last week, and this has truly lifted our spirits, despite the lack of sunshine. On top of that two of the Ukrainian dogs went to foster homes and settled in so well. We are still getting daily calls from owners, police, pounds and relatives of ill or deceased owners to take dogs. This week three due to die at a pound today have been accepted. So many cats are being called in, so I guess all the cat rescues round here must be full. If the cats have no other options we have tried to squeeze them in. Up to this date we have saved them all despite only having a very small facility for cats.  In my mind the cats would come into the cattery do their quarantine time of a few weeks to ensure they are well then be moved to a cat hotel with sitting room exercise facilities and all the luxuries of the Ritz…. But that’s maybe not in my lifetime. For the time being we are saving them and though not luxurious, their quarters are warm and comfy and clean for the time being.

Jenna is doing a boot sale this week, and I am brainstorming how to raise funds to equal the huge monthly bills which exceed 150,000 usand a month. 75 paid staff (mostly full time.), surgery costs and electrics van maintenance and so on, are enormous.

The dog wardens just bought in this pitiful little Frenchie today. We will work hard to help her and start with putting her on a raw diet and giving her meds and Echinacea boost her immune system along with some Vitamin C. We will name her today.

It’s been yet another really hard week to get through. I had to say goodbye to the most precious dog ever, and the grief would have been too much if it was not for the distractions here (of which there are so many this week) but when quiet or lying in the dark his memories consume me.

I am still not feeling well, and though spent hours in hospital awaiting help twice have now 7 weeks later been told by my GP I have a fractured L4 of my spine.  The NHS is broken!!!!

We have puppies coming out of our ears, mistaken litters unsold pups and litters bought and not wanted, and so on and so on.

We have a link you may be interested in for a free will service, it can be used whether you choose to help us at the end or not, so I will include it for you to see.      https://www.freewills.co.uk/charity/manytearsrescue

Well that’s a few things that have happened this week in my life. Thank you for reading this and caring. Your donations to help the dogs in Cyprus will help and a few will be saved. The rescue out there is also trying to raise the funds, so lets hop enough comes in to not have to leave any we had said yes to.

I often try to brainstorm about raising significant funds, and this week have had to think very hard, as funds are going down very quickly.

I looked around my home at things people have given that I have kept as they remind me of   memories, or things I own or relatives have given or left. I thought I really don’t want or need all this but would hate to sell also. So I thought what about rounding up some thing each that would be worth auctioning off for the rescue. If you agree, would you let us know and maybe if enough came in we could do something truly special.  It could be an antique, an instrument, a saddle, jewellery, please take a look. We are not looking for jumble for this but something special to truly help.

Is it really August? My feet are soaked and even though yesterday the weather person promised some sun here, it has not even made it’s way through the thick clouds once. Do the dogs care? Well of course not, the muddier the fields for walkies the more fun it is for most. Volunteer walkers turn up in nice walking clothes, bright orange rain tops, fluorescent walking shoes and cargo type trousers. They go home with happy memories and a whole bunch of washing to do. Perfect paw prints often adorn their clothing, and their shoes ( well they are just big blobs of mud) where walking shoes once were. However, everyone bar maybe Evie seems happy.
Evie is a beagle who came to us about three weeks ago. A lot of dogs came in around then. She came with friends from a breeder giving up. We were told some of the dogs could be pregnant and found that to be true in Evie’s case. Well, the weeks have rolled by, and a vet or vet nurse or me have scanned her regularly ever since and her pups seem alive and well and we can see their little hearts beating, but poor Evie looks like she swallowed a football the last few weeks. Every morning and often in the night we visit her in anticipation thinking her pups will have come, but they have not, she now can barely walk as her tummy is nearly touching the floor. She is a delightful gentle happy beagle who knows all about being loved and sets herself up for you to scratch and rub whatever part of the body she chooses.

I spent yesterday helping in the vets. So many staff are unwell and so to help I said I would scrub the kits and call in the dogs who were being operated on that day. One of the staff brought in her foster pup to play around the surgery main reception area whilst she worked. “Lost” the pup had come to us lethargic with a bad eye ulcer. The specialist vets looked at his eye, and it was determined it was on the mend and we should carry on with the treatment we were giving. Lilly and Dan took him home and he’s become a real tinker.

Yesterday he managed to pull a drip line through from a dog on a drip and start to chew it. That was very quickly stopped but he then found the cable of a heated matt and started on that.. At this point we had to cage him for his own safety. He is a charmer, but a naughty one!

It's stopped raining for a minute so I will venture out in yet another set of dry clothes and check-up all is well and write more tomorrow.

I was not ready for Saturday night and what was to come.  My spirits were high, my grandchild Syd was coming, I thought I had a good week ahead, but it has not turned out that way. I was very tired and went to bed to do emails and hopefully sleep (something that is incredibly hard with the pain in my back and legs and most nights I lie awake worrying. One email was from a group in Cyprus.
Many years ago, I helped that rescue. Having worked in a “no hope rescue" many years ago where 99.9% of the dogs and cats were put to sleep, I truly understand what it’s like to carry on trying to make what little life the dog or cat has left a good one. In my case this was just 3 days as lack of space dictated this and there were no foster homes or adopters. It got me thinking when running Many Tears how we could help rescues by giving the staff a boost in the belief miracles can help. It started with a mans Facebook blog, he talked of running a shelter in N Carolina (the same area as I had) and how the night before the mass murder each week of all the dogs he cared for at the pound he and a friend would buy tons of sausages and each doomed to die would get one and special loving.  The next day he and his friend would kill each one leaving their bodies piled in the corridor for disposal. I related totally to this. The next blog was about a dog that had lived in a rescue for 9 years with no hope. This blog was from the rescue in Cyprus called Sirias. The blog was about Bashful, a plain black hound, one like hundreds of dogs I had had to murder when running The Humane Society of Richman County. North Carolina. I decided to adopt Bash and take on 9 other very long-term stayers from the rescue. I hit lucky, as the rescue was run by someone who really cares and still does, so all was done right. The dogs arrived and all bar Bashful homed. Bashful lived out the rest of his life with me. He was very, very loved.

Back to the point of telling you all that. Lying in bed longing for sleep I started doing the emails. One was from Marianna at Sirius. It told of imminent closure for her rescue and others on Cyprus. The government had made stipulations that were impossible to meet for rescues, this means no rescues just kill pounds.  They have battled with this for years and now she too lies in bed wondering how she will be strong enough to live through what lies ahead. Her dogs are mainly hounds; they have little to no chance of adoption in their country. She reaches out to other countries and tries every angle to save the dogs. Now she reaches out to us.
Some will not agree saying looking after your own but I want to help again. If I could raise £10,000, I could save so many dogs.  I will show you why, but for the faint hearted  those who already hold despair in your hearts please don’t look. Don’t imagine the staff, the dogs, the sadness.

This first video shows you how and where they live

This second video shows the conditions these dogs come in like on a regular basis

The third also shows the condition of the dogs when they arrive but also the turn around they accomplish.  All now with the threat of closure hanging over their heads and this is why I want to help.

If you want to help too, please send a donation and I will send it on to them to take in both the dogs on the videos and others.

So sleep would not come after all these dogs plus others here are on my mind. I got up to check Evie again. Though bright and waggy she could not lie down and was so uncomfortable. I stay with her caressing those long therapeutic ears thinking of all those Cypriot dogs, those who made it to the centre out there and those who were hung and left to die as no use to a hunter - all those dogs. Evie felt wrong and I decided despite the cost to call around and find a vet to come and assess her.  If we gave her a  c-section too soon the pups would die, but Evie had to come first.
I found Tom was back from visiting his home in Austria and he said he would be 45 minutes. I called local staff to help but no one bar Amanda and Michelle the vet nurse answered. Michelle brought her daughter too. C-sections take many hands.

The vet takes the pups out of a cut open belly and so to keep sterile drops them into a towel hammock that is strung between some one’s hands, that person clears the pup’s airways and rubs the pup until they are clean and responsive and puts in a warm basket to go to the next one. This happens fast and many hands are needed. Eight pups came into our hands and it was a fast and worrying time.

At that point I really felt great relief for dear sweet Evie and even commented to the vet how she had suffered carrying so many. As a rescue we could spay very pregnant dogs and inject the pups to die as they come out as soon as the dog arrives, but I won't murder any more dogs in my life unless putting to sleep for a reason that is valid.

So the vet and vet nurse got on with their jobs and we all tried to save the pups.  The vet was amazed by the amount of fluid in Evie and said how abnormal it all was, and we were all surprised the pups were doing so well. He started stitching her up, but suddenly she stopped breathing.  Tom is a very experienced vet; he has performed hundreds if not thousands of C-sections. I grabbed the crash kit. We used every trick in the books.  Amanda gave oxygen breaths, Tom massaged the heart, Michael drew up adrenalin but after 30 minutes we had to say goodbye forever to Evie.  I am choked up writing this and am feeling like all I touch goes wrong.  That night they all left and I slept on the floor next to Evie’s pups, feeding and cleaning them every two hours and weeping as I am now.
  
Sunday I continued with Amanda and Syd (who had then arrived) help to feed and clean the pups. This was not easy as two who had been hard to start with kept gasping and turning blue.  As the day progressed so did they. Hopefully, my next blog will be happier. If you win the lottery, Please help Sirius in Cyprus. But otherwise please help us to save some of their dogs. T
Thank you Sylvia

Sylvia’s diary: This week is a little bit different from others. Instead of Sylvia writing this weeks’ diary, it’s going to be me, Stephanie. Some of you may have seen a few posts on here from me, maybe seen me at the rescue or even read something I’ve been a part of, but as you’ve all previously read, Sylvia has the weight of the world on her shoulders and in the hope of her having some well-deserved time for herself, we decided that I’ll be the one to tell you all the tails from the rescue this week.

Firstly, I want to start with a lovely positive update.
Many of you know of Moses, our lovely little Retriever pup who was born via c-section, well he went to his forever home on Friday! I couldn’t have hoped for more of a wonderful family who took him on and there wasn’t a dry eye in the whole rescue when he finally left the gates.
Moreso, the adopters have kept in touch and told us that he is loving his new life and still likes to get his legs massaged! (Something we used to do for him as he was born with swimmer legs). I’m confident that this not-so-little guy will thrive in life and it’s moments like these that make it all worth it.

My actual week started on Sunday, and like every other day, I got there early to check-in on thewonderful animals I haven’t seen in a few days and meet some of the new arrivals.

Our surrounding communities have a major cat problem at the moment, which has meant that we’ve seen an influx of cats coming to us. Usually, we hope to find them homes or spaces in other more suited rescues, but as they’re bursting at the seems, we need to help. Little Daisy was the first little one I visited. She is a sweet one year old cat who came in with all her kittens, and has also watched them go. She’s such a sweetheart, and pines for love and attention. She’s already been here for a month and hasn’t had much interest, so she’s always on the top of my list of fusses to give.
It would be a dream to be able to build a quiet cattery area away from the noise, something more enriching and fun for them, but it would cost around £20,000… funds which we just don’t have spare!
As the cat problem continues, the need for this will grow, and eventually we’ll need to do this project. It’s sad that the cats here can’t experience it, but the dream, want and need is very much there.

On Monday I travelled to Ireland with Sylvia. I am so scared of driving the vans, mainly because I can’t follow directions! I am much better at paperwork, and although Sylvia had a searingly bad leg, she trumped through and took me on my second journey around the endless roads of Southern Ireland.

This second trip wasn’t any easier than the first, though through her thorough training, we were able to work as a team and collect some incredible little souls. Putting them on the van both hurts me and brings me so much joy. It’s hard seeing their worried faces as we put them on, they don’t know what’s next for them and I wish they could understand me when I tell them it’s their next step until they find a home. Each one is so special.

It’s a long journey, one that Sylvia has had to do many times and for many years. I admire her tenacity on these trips. With the ports being so strict on all paperwork, it was vital there were no errors. Even slight errors, like two different dates of birth on our paperwork for a dog could mean they’re taken away to quarantine, and beyond a heavy fine that could be thousands, they’d have to be taken to another facility and face another few months of upheaval. We cannot make mistakes.

Once the paperwork was checked, we boarded the ferry and made the lengthy journey back home and in the middle of the night, arrived at the rescue where we then stayed for a while to settle them into kennels.

Wednesday and Thursday came quickly. Booking the new dogs in, assessing their medical needs, the list goes on. The days seem so short when you’re here!

It’s always busy, bustling with dogs, staff and volunteers. We have young pups, new dogs, long-stayers and more that all crave attention, and it’s so lovely to see such an abundance of love surrounding the rescue. Even just walking past the kennels I saw kids cuddling the little puppies and could tell they were giving as much to the dogs as the dogs were giving them. Socialisation is so hugely important for these dogs, so with every volunteer, a newfound confidence is given. Even just sitting with them is enough.

The Ukrainian dogs have my heart completely. On Thursday someone in the surrounding area was clay-pigeon shooting and I’ve never seen such trauma. They all dashed to the back of their kennels, hiding and whimpering over the familiar sounds of gunshots. We tried to settle them, and sat with them until the sounds stopped, but their tremors continued. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going through their minds. There’s something so special and unique about overseas dogs. I have one of my own, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. They’ve been through far more than I have ever gone through, yet despite everything, they’re so gentle. I desperately hope people see past them being cross-breeds and see their formidable tenacity for life.
 

Thank you all for reading this far. It’s a hard task to jump in the place of someone who’s admired so much by our community! I really wanted this week to be a positive insight on some of the things we’ve gotten up to this week and ask that you keep in mind all of these dogs that are still finding their feet here, as well as the cats who struggle with the noise.

As they settle, we ask that you keep our cats in your thoughts. They truly do struggle, and any support toward the cattery dream would be incredible. And from Sylvia, myself and my amazing colleagues, thank you endlessly for all of your support.

Another week has passed.

Every week I meet the most amazing people and even more amazing dogs.  These dogs are incredible, so heroic, so kind gentle and forgiving. The staff's dedication is crazy, their love and their dedication is impossible to mirror. Then there are some wonderful folks who adopt these wonderful dogs, who give them time, love and the understanding they so need and deserve. I am humbled by all both canines and humans.

Our new vet is lovely, although I think it’s a huge change for him. He saw me at my worst Monday and I will explain more about this later.

I have really struggled the last week with maybe a trapped nerve in my leg.  It affected me so much I ended up in hospital. I waited 7 hours to be given strong pain killers and sent home. Bill has helped me and I have struggled walking and working, often in tears.

I had the Ukrainian dogs coming in and Southern Irish dogs waiting to be picked up. Enough about feeling sorry for myself, instead let me tell you about the dogs “War Paws” sent. I met the dogs whilst sitting in the reception checking their paperwork, I was brought each dog to meet.

The meeting was mind blowing. These dogs had started in a war torn country, they had been abandoned by the humans who had in the past fed them, some had been loved, others abused.  All were on the Romanian Ukrainian borders.  Many came with owners who were fleeing and wanted to take their dogs with them and thought the life saving buses would rescue them and their dogs together, but only the humans were allowed to travel and the dogs were set free to take their chances.  Some died, some roamed free, some were picked up.

Ours are the ones that were picked up, kennelled in any kennel found and then they were moved time and time again. They were visited and supported by the amazing charity “War Paws” who sent someone to oversee their care whenever they could afford plus paid their kennelling fees.

They tried so hard to find places for the 200 or so dogs at rescues in the UK. They tried to build kennels in the UK, but funds were so tight as they are supporting dogs all over the world in war torn zones as well. After two years most had moved on but no rescue wanted the last dogs and that’s when we stepped in.  

So that’s their story, so you’d imagine they would greet with mistrust and fear, but all let me talk to them, lay my hand on their sweet heads, some gently put their paws on my lap, and even the very scared looked into my eyes.  They need a lot of love, they need special visitors with natural treats like chicken bits or liver treats, so that they can learn to take from a human’s hand. They need us!!!

The kennels made for them are spacious, comfy, quiet and perfect. They were funded by the “Bristol Buddies,” a group of ladies who hold sales and make amazing things to sell and raise funds that mean the dogs here can have the extra special things they all deserve. Every time I limp to see these dogs I am filled with the feeling of gratitude.

The dogs will get a UK health check Friday, yet again another brucellosis test though they have already had them before traveling, we are doing this again just to reassure all they are free of any diseases they then may find a wonderful foster home, or best still a forever home.

Ex breeders have come in too, and are enjoying paddling pools, our super play yard and socialising hour and the staff.  Monday rolled along with severe pain in my leg, some sad news in the vets resulted in a total meltdown of emotions in front of all in the vets and floods of tears (something I never do).

Steph came to learn about the trips to Ireland and Joyce drove the other van. At the ferry when it was time to leave the vans and go up I embarrassingly could not make the stairs. A super kind employee of Stena Line took me to a lift. I went straight to a cabin and put my leg up. On departure from the boat, I strapped ice packs to my leg and managed the first three-hour drive.  Steph was magnificent and did all the leg work, in fact the only thing she really struggled with was understanding the southern Irish accent.

The dogs are dreams, paperwork was triple checked and all are home happy comfy and now getting beautified with kind volunteers bathing and grooming.

Me?  Well I am back in hospital waiting again for help and feeling very guilty I am not back helping the dogs. Whilst I sit here waiting to be seen by our wonderful NHS, our little cavalier with the bad leg is with the specialist vet who is hopefully carrying out the complicated £3,000 operation to save her leg. She is just a pup, and the sweetest little soul and  I was desperate to know the outcome and late Monday night I found out her operation has been done and she has 12 weeks of crate rest ahead of her. She won the hearts of both the vets and the vet nurses and wagged consistently the whole time except when asleep.  Today she comes back to us to be on strict bedrest, but hopefully her leg is mended, and with careful recovery regime it will mend perfectly. We will have to pay for the operation and fundraise for this. I would be so grateful if you would consider making a donation towards helping us pay for the operation which will hopefully give her complete freedom and to be free of pain.

Again, I thank you all for your support that helps us continue with this job that is so much needed.

Life is precious - we never know what’s around the next bend.  This week has made me really think about this. 

We have again been inundated by calls from the public trying to get us to take their dogs, sad stories of dogs that haven’t been fed because the owners have no money, or owners losing their homes and people who are ill and can no longer look after their dogs have been rung in. The office staff have relayed their stories to me, obviously for the Office staff and myself the stories weigh heavily on our minds. If we cannot help that minute but phone back another day, it is often too late!

On Friday I was working, outside and I kept hearing and seeing a helicopter circling and circling our rescue. It was flying very low. This happened for well over 15 minutes then one of the staff ran into the vets and said there’s been an accident and a dog was in the car, can we drop everything and look at the dog. When the dog arrived, he was scared but didn’t appear to be hurt. We were told he had been traveling, sitting on the lap of an elderly lady and that lady was bringing the dog to us. I found out later the lady could not drive, and some kind friend had driven her. Very sadly somehow, they had turned across the dual carriageway, and been struck twice and tragically a person had passed away in this accident and others, including the lady who had the dog on her lap, was injured and hospitalised.

As I pulled out of that same junction yesterday to go to pick up dogs in Northern Ireland, the remnants of the crash was still very apparent. I feel tremendous sadness even though I did not know those involved. The dog had a miraculous escape, one of our kind staff took him home and said though he was quiet and a little stiff he showed no other symptoms. As I said life is precious every day is a gift and I and probably many others need to remember this and embrace it..

Tomorrow, we have a new Vet starting full-time and it will make a lot of difference to us and all the dogs.  For the last years I have spent hours of worry scheduling Vets to try and keep up with the huge workload Many Tears has. Even the last few days have been tough going as we had another influx of Dogs, and I didn’t want the new Vet to arrive with that workload. We have been blessed with so many Vets helping us but in the last few days Siriol,  a wonderful vet came and helped us so that the dogs could go to their homes or foster homes. She is giving up a month of her life and going to Cambodia to work in a Spay neuter clinic voluntarily. There are truly some wonderful people out there! 

Today I am driving all over the place but only picking up a few dogs as this trip they are spread far and wide. However, every dog's life is precious and I am grateful for the privilege of being able to help them whether only a few or many. These trips are very expensive and I’m hoping that companies or individuals may like to sponsor them now and then whether we are picking up 15 or many more.  The planning and the time it physically takes to drive many miles makes these trips a true labour of love.

Ineed to start my journey picking up the dogs now so will write more later.  

I picked up my first dog, a long scenic drive to a kennels full of happy dancing cockers running around.  However, I was only given the one dog and she has sung in a high pitched Soprano voice for over an hour and at the moment there is no consoling her. I am hoping the next pick up may help.  It’s sad to think of a dog leaving her relatives or lifetime friends, however once home we find they usually find a new canine friend fairly quickly. We get accused of not allowing loving potential adapters to adopt some of our dogs we say cannot be only dogs. Sweetie is going to be one of these, she simply will be happiest with other canines to be befriended by and show her the way forwards.

These journeys seem to take me longer than anybody else. Every time I see something on the road I have to stop to make sure the poor creature is dead or alive and move it to the side of the road if dead (which sadly they usually are). Every time I see a sheep on its back I have to climb over the fence and right her. Today to top all that I went round to bend and there was a horse in the road, strutting around head in the air, tail up high, like it was some sort of Arab Cross, but believe me this horse was not an Arab cross in fact this horse didn’t have any grand parentage at all, what she  did have was whopping great feet which it kicked up almost in my face as it strutted off down the middle of the road. I was terrified a vehicle was going to come, so grabbed a lead out of the car, hoping that I could make an improvised head collar out of it.  I never got that near as it suddenly changed direction and went up the drive of the only house in sight and galloped over their manicured lawns throwing up huge great mounds of mud skidding and squeaking with pleasure. The people came out the house and I thought they were going to scream at me as their lawn was ruined, instead they thanked me and told me that they had no idea their horse had got out, and how grateful they were and believe me I was grateful too as I went back down to the road just as a really big articulated lorry came rushing round that road. That poor horse would’ve been dead and possibly the lorry driver too if it had come a few minutes earlier. I climbed back in my van only to find I was running late. I always pride myself with getting to places on time and not making people wait.

Now on my way to get diesel and go to customs and get the ferry It’s been a long day, but worth every worry and effort knowing my staff will all be waiting to love these darlings and help them on the route to finding new forever homes.

The epic drive is nearly over…. All bar 3 hours! I am waiting to go and see the dogs but best of all I am waiting to give them their sausages. I don’t have the wonderful, cooked breakfast Stena line gives the truckers, but do have a row of sausages that I cut up and put in coffee mugs. The guys at the restaurant call me the "sausage lady" and all know me. By the time I get to see the dogs the sausages are still warm. Some have never had a sausage but get the idea of what’s going on really quickly and cannot get enough. It makes my heart sing thinking of them all waiting and knowing what’s ahead of them.

I have said my little prayer this morning asking to get back safely and now it’s up to me. My little prayers lately have turned into “War and Peace“ (a very long book).  I just have so much to ask for and need help with but my thank yous are too quick. Maybe others do this too, always ask, but don’t say thank you much. If that’s me , I am sorry. Though on the whole I am asking for the dogs it’s still no excuse. Just the fact you have read my diary I should say thank you.

War Paws were able to send me pictures of some of the dogs that are coming in the next week or so. They are a very conscientious charity and have done extensive testing on all of the dogs for brucellosis and any other disease. These dogs have lived through the Ukrainian war. They have been moved from one kennel to another many times to keep them safe and ended up on Romanian borders in any kennel’s that could be found. In the two years that War  Paws has been involved with these dogs they have sent someone out to make sure they’re welfare is okay, found many homes, but been left with these last dogs that nobody wanted. We know these dogs will be confused and we know that it may take time to find them the homes they so deserve but I am confident that the people of the UK are true animal lovers on the whole and there will be homes out there for these poor dogs who have seen more than any dog or human should ever have to.

We have the sweetest ever cav pup who has a leg problem that will probably cost £4,000 to mend.  Here is what a vet has told me…
The condition is a severe medial patellar luxation that is causing a growth deformity of the femur (the femur is bowing because the patella is running in the wrong position so having a bowstring effect as the femur tries to grow). Success rate is difficult to say  this is an extremely severe one. However the surgeon suggested it has a very high success rate so let’s try to help this pup have a normal happy life. If you feel like I do and want to raise the funds please donate or have a car boot sale or something. Please help me help her!!!!! 

You may think this premature, but running Many Tears I need to be steps ahead so we are never in trouble. If you have an animal loving friend who may like to receive a book about the journey to opening Many Tears please place an order. It really will help the dogs as 100% of the funds raised go to the rescue. Please go to
https://www.manytearsrescue.org/page_.php?i=128

Thank you again for being there, for texts of support and for caring. Sylvia.

This week’s diary is one of the worst I have had to write. Some will not want to read this, others may be curious. However please don’t read if you already feel down.

On the way to the show last week, I had a hands-free call to say MR.G  our amazing Andalusian horse had had an accident. I pulled into Cobham services tearful and shaking and composed myself. Frankly, my canine buddy sensed something was terribly wrong and came and snuggled up to me fussing around me and I called home to find out more.

 I was told in the night he was in the same field he had always been in and he had slipped or rolled on the ground, getting his hooves and legs caught through the boundary sheep wire fencing.
 They had cut him out and got him up, but his body was trembling and shaking, especially a shoulder muscle. They got him back home and the vet came and they thought all was ok and that he had a sort of pins and needles for having laid on his shoulder so long.

Mr G has had extensive operations and chemotherapy over the last few years and before this accident was doing very well.  I worried but had to get to the show so I continued my journey, worked hard there and came home. I went to cuddle this amazing horse. He seemed ok though his shoulder still quivered.

Each day he was walked around and though there were times his expression was different, he was eating drinking and there was no indication of what was about to happen. He went out on a walk and he laid down. They got him up and called the vet, who diagnosed severe colic, and after hours of trying to decide what to do as transporting him to a horse vet centre was a poor option for him and so we decided to put him to sleep.

I led him down the field, but here he actually perked up and the vet and I decided to take him back to his stable, however once back a sudden stream of yellow grime flowed out of his nose. The vet said he had to be put to sleep right away, and so I walked him back down told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. 19 years of love on both our behalf’s.

Hundreds of people who visited over the years have been delighted by his clever, kind ways, and now it was all over. I am sobbing as I write, I am not sure how many more hits are in front of me, but also not sure how many more I can stand.

The vet thinks he had a partial twist in his gut that had died back from his last accident and was not detected. I can no longer walk down to the field. Its all just too sad right now.

I did not want to, but had to keep going, for the dog’s sake, but again we received call after call from people getting rid of their dogs or being forced to put to sleep their dogs. The stories and reasons for this range from human murders, home repossessions, divorces, the dog growing too big, too expensive, too unruly. And I am sick of having to literally play God here. I take the responsibility of these calls on myself as don’t want anyone else to suffer the sleepless nights and sadnesses that comes from having to decide which dogs we can take in and which we cannot.

  I set up Many Tears to help the ex-breeding dogs, bitches, and unwanted pups from those dogs. I invite all breeders to come and see our set up here. I give advice if needed on giving the dogs toys, bedding, the important of socialising, wormers, flea and tick treatments and hope that many have valued the time and effort we have made to take the dogs and openly show the work we do.

Some breeders already do a good job socialising, exercising and giving their dogs enrichment.  
I don’t discriminate which dogs I take. I welcome old or young, I don’t buy dogs, order dogs, or do this for any other reason other than wanting to help these dogs find great new homes. This week I have had hate mail, false allegations and unkindness.
One breeder in Ireland stood up in court after having been banned from breeding dogs 4 years ago having been found doing this yet again.
When asked where his excess dogs had gone, he named us and another person as taking his dogs. But neither we, nor the other person named had even talked to him or been there for well over 4 years. We had not taken these dogs. One false statement and that’s what I got…. I don’t know what happened to the poor dogs that were no longer needed, and wish I could have at least helped them, but sadly I have been branded part of the puppy farming problem.
 Every single life is precious, I cannot understand why others so not see this. I am not a politician, I am not a dog warden or anything like that.
I work tirelessly to help all dogs, especially the ex-breeding dogs.
I know those who have sent these terrible things to me are probably very pleased at how sad I am, I am just so sorry they cannot understand Many Tears and our love, our compassion and dedication to these dogs. I am so sorry they wont shadow me and see what we do here, or cry with me and work with me, but choose not to try to understand at all.

Moses is now ready to be homed so on the website as from today. I know I will cry like a baby as he leaves, but I know someone out there will have more time and love that does not need to be shared with so many dogs as I have already.

 Dupree a long-term stayer with one of our staff was homed this week, as was Missy and also our special boy Hector who had been here over a year. It’s been busy and we are now awaiting more dogs that are either waiting to be picked up, being picked up or being brought in. Also, its only days until we meet the dogs from Ukraine who all have a very special and terrible and frightening stories. They are only alive because of the charity “War paws” and we look forward to meeting them and helping them.
  

Lastly, we are trying to find non spill water dishes for the vans as we transport dogs. Everything we have tried so far has proved a disaster. Some of the dogs want to chew and drag their bowl to the back, emptying the water enroute. The metal non spill bowls are great but are too big. So we have found bowls and will drill small holes and attached them to the crates. We have put the bowls we need on our Amazon Wishlist. If you have one you don’t need or would like to donate one here is the link for amazon. https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/2KIC7VI3K4OPU?ref_=wl_share

Thank you again for your support in the last tough past weeks.  If you feel able to make a donation to keep us going please do. We are grateful for every penny that we receive.

Well, a new week is about to start. Like probably thousands of others my enthusiasm for it are zilch.
Last week was one of the toughest I have had, but onwards and upwards.
This week coming I need to load the vans for this AMAZING agility show at Ardingly that Many Tears has been invited to and thousands of dogs will be on the show ground site. If we can attract the dogs to drag their owners to our stall we will be in with a chance to raise really good funds.

 This past week we have had a true tsunami of French bulldogs arriving with us. These loyal little souls were so popular over Covid that some breeders went crazy breeding more and more. These dogs are literally bred to have defects. The breed standard dictates this, demanding flat faces and other traits. They have breathing problems with badly formed nostrils. They have spinal problems, no tail, and often have dietary problems. They get ulcers due to their bulging eyes, and skin problems as they often have low immune system, but the public love them and its just as well as there are hundreds out their needing homes.

At the moment around 7 out of 10 calls are from people wanting to rehome French Bulldogs. I wonder if you’re wondering if I like the breed?  NO - I hate the suffering I see when they can barely breathe, but I do like the dogs of that breed I meet. They are super generous with love, often patient and look like little gremlins. I love all dogs but as I say in the last few weeks SO many frenchies have come and it’s a drain on our finances, as the vet has to spend extra time and money on nasal wedge surgery, or an ulcers to be medicated, and sometimes boas surgery too ( surgery on the throat. which is painful and expensive) as well as the usual spaying and neutering.  Overall, they breathe best when under anaesthetic as then they have a tube down their throats opening their airways. Now I am sure some where there is some one trying to breed these little souls better, but for now we are seeing problem after problem that we have to try to fund and fix. That is hard for us , but so so sad for these little darlings suffering. However, don’t be put off, we do all the surgery they need and so are only asking you all to invest time and love and please give one a home.
Take a look at these two noses to see the difference between them

  The guy from the pound came, he was a bit of a hero driving here so we could assess a dog that was to be put to sleep this coming week. The dog had been waiting in the pound for months, but no rescue would take him. All the time he was getting more and more frustrated until he became too kennel stressed for the pound to keep there. We met the warden and went to the new play area with a very excited staffy cross and a long line. We shut the gate and let him go trailing the line, in case we could not catch him again. He just could not believe his good fortune to find such a wonderful play area and ran and ran, and then met another dog who was very nice and he was a good boy, though he was a little amorous. Tomorrow, as we have no space today, we are taking over his ownership, and hopefully turning his life around.

The plan in my mind for the next week is work as hard as I can so at night, I fall asleep exhausted and not worrying. I have done this a few days, and it sort of works until around 3am when I give up and get up. I hope I have not created a precedent for all the dogs who have given their breakfast at 4.30 – 5am! I seem to be getting through a ton of work too. New plans new improvements, more lives saved.

This whole weekend we have had a load of visitors adopters and many happy hounds. The volunteers have bathed played with and enjoys the dogs and horses, and the dogs have enjoyed the extra love and company. It was a great weekend, even through the weather is grey and dismal. Another thing I have noticed is a big increase in retired folk coming to help and fill their days. Some are lonely, but they never leave feeling that, and they have all been a great asset meeting greeting , cleaning, socialising, tidying up and painting, gardening, and so much more. It’s a win - win for us all, and the dogs benefit hugely from the help.

   I never finished my diary last week; the show took up so much time. We got there in convoy and spent over 6 hours putting the tents up and unloading the vans, and there were 6 of us doing it. Then the rain came, and that’s about how the whole three days went. Constant on/off heavy rain. We got soaked and Jay, my son in law brought us all more waterproof coats. It was SO miserable. The thousands of people we expected did not turn up due to the awful weather and although we did make money it wasn’t near what we hoped for and we came home with TONS of stuff that all had to be unloaded and stored all over again. Of course it was worth it, as every penny made makes it worth it, but it was super tough going.

    I came home from the show to find a string of really urgent messages, all dogs that have no where else to go, with BIG heartbreaking stories. We will help all we can.

  Moses continues to get stronger happier and fatter, actually I refer to him as “Fat Boy” and everyone knows who I am talking about, how sad is that? When we feed his mum we have to separate him, as he eats his food then climbs in his mums bowl and eats around himself if he can. We all love him and his mum and pray they both find the best homes EVER . I know everyone will love Moses, but his mum is the coolest, sweetest, gentlest mum ever and a true pleasure to look after and a privilege to help her. Her name is Tolly

Kayla, one of our REALLY special staff is leaving. She has been amazing hand raising and caring for the pups and dogs who have had big operations, and she will be so missed, I wish her well, but will truly find it so hard to replace her love compassion and work ethics, and her sweet, gentle ways.

  This week we have also been trying really hard to find a new vet again. The last two both have wanted the job have cancelled at the last minute. Again, luckily we have some great supporters who are vets and continue to help us in the meantime, but if only we had one full time vet it would make life so much easier.

  One worry this week was the x rays for Wave a pup that has severe muscle wastage on her back legs. She had x-rays and sadly they told us nothing. So now weneed an angel who will foster her and take her swimming. The vet feels this would be the best way to build her muscles. If there is any kind person out there who would adopt or foster her who live near a hydrotherapy unit, this could really help her. Please let us know if you’d be willing to help.

We have dogs in with pyometras, ulcers, nose and throat deformities, hip problems slipping patellas, eyes and heart problems Some of these will have to go to specialists, some will see a wonderful vet and his vet nurse wife who are locumming with us and can help them, all these operations are very expensive. Money made on that very wet show last weekend is already spent. This is a very tough job, with a lot of worry too.

 Again, without all your support this little rescue that grew and grew would not exist. THANK YOU

I got back from Ireland safe last week and not as tired as other times as I was lucky to have David as a co-driver with me. My heart was heavy having left behind a darling, very small Cav in a big, cold shed crying for her friends who I had been asked to take with me.
I tried to take her too, I explained how lonely she would be, but to no avail and I had to leave her behind.
I dwelled upon this on the drive back that night. In the morning, once I got home, the breeder called to say, Yes, I was right the poor dog was miserable without it’s friend and could I come and pick her up. Sadly this is not just popping down the road, this is a two-day drive and ferry to Northern Ireland. But without any pause I said “Yes, I would come in the next few days.” I organised my chaotic life, cleared it with Bill to spend the £600 plus that Bill and I would use from our savings (We feel we could not ask the charity to pay this) and was ready to go.
The next day I was driving with Bill to pick up local dogs an hour and a half away when I had a call, the lady had changed her mind and decided to keep the poor 8 year old cav after all and wanted her friend back. Of course, I could not do that so, sadly I am no longer wanted to pick up the lonely one, it makes me so sad and I feel physically sick.

We picked up the other dogs and drove home with three bichons two cavs. They loaded fine and enroute we had others to pick up and all seemed just fine. When we got home ( me still very down due to knowing how the little cav left was feeling) we unloaded the dogs, all again seemed fine, rather stinky, but fine. On closer inspection a lovely cav had to go to the grooming room as his dew claws were so long, they had curled round and round. He had these cut, then he went blue. He was rushed to the vet, and after an hour of doing everything possible he was put to sleep having what the vet suspected was a massive heart attack. He wagged his tail and when conscious looked into our eyes and made all of us feel just awful. He had never known a home, and now never will on this earth. I have written him a leaf to hang on our memorial tree,” for the sweet dog with no name, we all loved you though you never really knew. X”

I then had a friend asking for urgent help as some terriers were in the pound and would be put to sleep imminently. The dogs had been liberated from cages in a house via the dog wardens. I said yes, praying they were nice dogs. Two wardens brought the dogs in, they are all Hairy McClarey types, all lived in a home, but not as pets but have been locked in little stacked crates 24/7. They are sweet, grateful happy, and boy do they need a bath!

Next came 6 very noisy collie cross pups in the back of a car, and we all were rushed off our feet.

I try not to have time to think of all the sadness, but just a glance at the stables, or seeing a cav and everything rushes back. I am not helping any one being so low, especially Bill, so I need to snap out of this and see the wonderful things.

Our meet and greet area for potential adopters is a miserable area, so I set to making it a lot better. It already looks better after Simon worked so hard on it but the grey metal walls make it prison like. We are painting this sage green. I am inviting anyone who can paint a flower or two, a fox a squirrel and rabbit or badger to come and leave their mark on the panels. You just need to bring a paint brush of your choice some paint that works on metal, colours of your choice and your imagination. It is a lovely project and one that will cheer many up, including me. Let me know asap, the sooner the better if you’d like to come.

I am off on another drive to pick up dogs.
There was an important job to be done this morning which I physically and mentally would have found very challenging even on a normal day. It would have been hard to make the time to go, and even harder to be a dogs hangman because a dog pound nearby were putting to sleep some dogs as no rescue would or could take them.
My yard manager Chelsea took on the job on to meet, take out and assess all three dogs. This in my opinion was very brave because if they had been fighting and biting, she knew we probably could not take them. Thank God they were all desperate to meet her and greeted her with such passion and walked by other dogs well too. It was agreed we would take all three at the end of the week, owing to our space available. All were Staffy or Frenchie types, and now all have that lucky break they do deserved.Thank you Chelsea x

When I got home Chelsea showed me two dogs, she had assessed at the pound just before they were due to die, there is one more but that’s not coming just yet. A sweet terrier and a staffy, they were delighted to be here and we are delighted to have them. Let’s hope there is a wonderful home waiting for one or other someplace. Again, I felt so grateful to Chelsea for doing this.

Backtracking now, on Sunday Kirsty our Foster Coordinator was able to organise an amazing foster run of over 40 dogs that were all loaded and sent to wonderful foster homes. Some staff came in simply to say goodbye to their favourites that they have worked with for a while, that made me feel so grateful to be part of something with so many likeminded people, they care about our dogs as much as I do.

These last few weeks we have been inundated with poor mummy cats and their kittens, and I now realise that we need a much better cattery that is bigger, more fun and with separate enclosures so we can look after cats and kittens better here. This will have to wait till I either win the lottery or a fairy Godmother helps ( both which are very unlikely but we can dream!). Never mind we are doing what we can to save lives as best we can.

Now for the best news ever, Moses the miracle pup who was born dead and was able to be revived after 10 minutes of intensive massaging and CPR, it then turned out he was a swimmer pup, with splayed limbs. However, with correct instruction and advice,( thank you Jessie) and lots of physio right from the start he is now walking. He is a really chubby pup and it’s very hard to stop him drinking all day from his mum, he is just SO greedy! He and his mum are so, so lovely.

Well that’s the news for the week.

Next week I will need to load vans for the show that we have stalls at in Ardingly agility show.

This week I want to thank all the fosterers who took dogs to their homes to help them, it makes a HUGE difference for the dogs THANK YOU

You are all doggy heroes!!!!

If you feel able to make a donation to the work we do please do so, every penny goes to saving more precious dogs ( and cats!) that need us.

It’s the beginning of the week. I have no enthusiasm for anything, and don’t even want to write this week’s diary. My news for the last few days is too raw, too sad, too miserable, however it’s no good writing a diary and not including true life so I know I must continue and write as usual.

On Friday my horse Molly was very lame. Molly has been in our care for well over 20 years from back when I lived in the USA. Molly was first seen when I was running the Humane society of Rockingham County. She was a beautiful liver chestnut mare who was starving, with her ribs and backbone protruding badly.
I was asked to go and see the owner who was breeding Tennessee Walkers, but not to rock the boat with him as the council were trying to buy land from him. All the horses I saw there were starving and I was horrified. I tried to gently reason with him, educate and help, but to no avail. The board of the Humane society would not help either.
Bill ended up paying for Molly just to get her away from there. We fed and cared for her and when we left the States to come to Wales we found her what we thought was her a wonderful home. However, a year later they contacted me to say they could not keep her and if I did not take her back she’d have to go to the sales.

Bill flew her home to Wales and when she arrived she was not sound and the vet found she had laminitis and a rotated pedal bone. We were advised to put her to sleep. However, we called our farrier who disagreed and looked after her hooves, shoeing carefully for many years. We X-rayed her every 6 months to guide the farrier to the angle he needed to trim her to, and though not able to be ridden she was extremely happy and loved here.
Back when she had come over to Wales she was very disturbed and out of sorts so we went to the market and bought a miniature Shetland for £4.00. Little Kenny became her toy boy who she adored and he adored her.
Fast forward 20yrs and on Friday Molly became so lame I decided to call the vet as an emergency. Her x-rays had been worse a few weeks before, and the vet who adores horses said it was time to let her go.
I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks. I held my girl, said goodbye, and watched the life I loved so much slip away. That was unbearable for me.
I had no idea how it would affect Kenny. We put a Shetland mare he liked with him, but this was no distraction and even today which is Monday he stands calling and looking for Molly. Every whinny is like a knife in my heart, its unbearable to see his pain.

I think of all the horses people sell because kids have grown out of or not wanted who are torn from their friends, The cows who have special bonded friends, the dogs parted at breeders who lived all their lives with a friend, and the more I think the worse it is getting.

I need to leave now to pick up dogs, and though I need to think of the future and those I can help, I just am wracked with sadness.

I am now waiting for the ferry. We have driven all around picking up dogs today and all are snuggled in their cut up and sewn duvets now snoozing. Tomorrow they will be in my staff’s arms being cuddled but tonight we will be on the boat. It’s always hard to leave them but easy to grab sausages from the canteen and go to them in the morning.

One group of dogs in particular has made me very sad. The owner decided to keep one back from the group and, as she watched her kennel mates bring loaded, she stood on her hind legs at the bars crying, tonight she’ll be on her own. It’s such a hard thing to think about. Tomorrow will be really busy day catching up with work and there are still more dogs to pick up in Wales.

All day I have had requests for rescue space. Some very urgent, others not so, however, all play heavily on my mind. I hope to sleep tonight on the ferry, but sleep is hard to find knowing all those super potential best friends to us humans are alone on the van. Roll on tomorrow when we will all be home safe.

Home now and working flat out ….. Whilst I was away over 25 dogs have come in, another 32 waiting to come, some so urgent that they cannot be left. We are BUSY to say the least.

One of the ones that came in is the sweetest 8-week-old Weimaraner pup who has a high grade heart murmur.
We will be raising funds needed to save her life, but heart surgery does not come cheap, however there is not any way to think how much a dog’s life is worth as they are all priceless to me.

I know I constantly talk of my amazing staff, but they are. This week one took are two old dogs out to the beach and then to a dog friendly café, the video is so sweet, and through that we have an application for them. This was all done in Tyler’s own time, and she is not the only one who gives extra love time and thought to the dogs here.

To all you fosterers, staff, adopters, and supporters, you all are what makes Many Tears. THANK YOU.

If you can spare a small donation to help us to continue what we do here please consider making a donation. 

What an absolutely crazy, ridiculous and unbelievable week I have just had. Somebody said to me ”well it's swings and roundabouts”…. And I thought what the heck does that mean?!

I looked it up and apparently it means “what you gain on the roundabouts you lose on the swings” or vice versa. Well, what a ridiculous saying…. I like both swings and roundabouts!
 Well let me explain about my week. It started off with me seeing a post from another rescue that I know work very, very hard with very little help.
Two years ago, there was a lady who used to pick up Romanian Dogs and she had a transport van that she called “The Dog Bus”.  This van would pick up the stray dogs from pounds that were due to be put to sleep in Romania and she would arrange for the passports and vaccinations and take them to the UK to safety and to be rehomed.
When Ukrainian war broke out, she felt tasked with helping there too. Sadly, everything got on top of her, and her van kept breaking down. I didn't really know her, I just knew of the great the work she was doing abroad, and as we had a van we were about to sell, and as I was so sad for the people and the animals in Ukraine and wanted us to do something to help, it was agreed that we could donate the van to her, but this would be overseen by another charity I knew, that would look after it if needs be.  So, we donated it to her cause.

 Not long after we donated the van very sadly the lady committed suicide. She couldn't help all the dogs she wanted to. She couldn't bear the thought of them all being put to sleep. She could no longer cope, and I imagine all she thought she could do she was to get out of this life, it was terribly sad, and I understood how hard it must've been for her.

She left her legacy, and someone needed to step in to take the reins and help the dogs she had already started to help. Gallantly the charity “War Paws” ( the charity who oversaw our donated van) stepped in and tried to hold the dogs that were left rescued by he lady but still awaiting transport in Ukraine and the Romanian boarders.
Now 2 years later there are still 12 dogs over there. These are the ones no other rescues have offered help for. Three of them are very scared, the others are big or non-descript cross breeds. War Paws have paid boarding kennels to care for them hoping for a lucky break for them, they have sent an employee out to assess, train the dogs to walk on leads etc, and train the kennel staff how to help scared dogs, but now they are at rock bottom not knowing what these poor dogs’ future will hold. Desperate they put out a frustrated and final post asking for help, and I answered it.

In my crazy way, even though I know that last month we were £50,000 down, I just felt it was in my heart that it was right to go all out and take all these dogs and bring them home. These dogs were found as strays when people found they could not board lifesaving buses and flee conflict with their pets and so they let them free. Others were put into boarding kennels on the border with the promise they would be back, but they never did or could go back.

All the dogs were taken on by the poor lady who took her own life, and then by War paws, and now us.
War Paws have ensured that all the Ukrainian dogs have a Passport, some a Romanian passport,  because they were found at that border. It's terribly sad and these dogs have been there 2 long years.

 I know it's going to be very hard and we will need help. A wonderful group called The Bristol Buddies said they will help us by holding sales, making things and fund raising, for the dogs may well be very long-term stayers here with us before they get rehomed.
 War Paws have very carefully and responsibly arranged all the health tests to ensure the dogs will be covered to travel and are disease free and will bring them to us. We just need to fund their stay and find them homes, and that’s not going to be easy! My God will help me, and as long as I can stay strong, these dogs are coming and somehow, we're going to change their lives.
Look at these beautiful dogs we will help

I'm going to talk about the dog show now that I mentioned before.

A team of us went to a huge dog show were allowed to have to stand free, the agility club who allow this is called Thames agility club and I am very grateful we were allowed to attend that show. We raised over £11,000 which helps towards the loss of money from last month. We also received a legacy to help us with that loss and on top of that wonderful lady who has been reading these blogs donated to help us as well. We are so grateful!
We sold everything we could… people brought along all sorts of things, some not even dog related and we were able to sell them.

We saw so many of the dogs that we have rehomed, all so loved now. It was such a special, wonderful few days, but maybe the most tiring days of the year. My helpers just worked so hard and are coming with me to the agility show at Ardingly next month, which brings me to the scrounge bit:
If you have anything new or nearly new, we can sell at the next show, please let us have it.
We are trying so hard to help so many dogs, but it’s so expensive to do this.

I told you last week or so that we had a vet and I was so excited she was coming from abroad where she  had been working, and when she accepted the job I asked her if she was sure about it, because I had one other candidate who I really liked the sounds of, but she was very sure she would take the position and we had to wait until July 15^th  for her to start.

Sadly when I was fund raising at the dog show she text me to say she changed her mind. I had to leave and go and sit on a caravan step as I  needed to be on my own and have a cry. Not having a vet at Many Tears makes everything so complicated and so worrying. If it wasn't for Jane, our Homeopathic Vet and Tom who have both stepped in so many times and the wonderful Mel and Sarah… all people who have their own lives and own jobs, yet still help us here, I don’t know what we would do. There are also so many others that come and help to keep us going. I don't know what I would do without all those wonderful vets and there are others that I haven't named also, so I guess yes, it’s swings and roundabouts.

That's my week so far. Joyce is off on a huge drive to pick up some dogs. I'm busy as I can be trying to sort out everything as I've been away for a few days. Bill is getting better slowly which is amazing and fantastic.

I'll finish the diary in a few days but should mention that while I was away beautiful Dalmatian came in emaciated and desperate for water. He's so thin and we don't know if it's because he's not well or because he's been starved, we don't know what he has gone through. He is called Moose so keep an eye out for Moose on our website.

There have been so many other new dogs here this week, so many sad stories. 

Moses the pup I gave the kiss of life to has turned into a swimmer pup. This is a term for a pup that has a flat chest and legs growing splayed out the wrong way. Moses is an only pup and has too much milk to himself from his mum that he is overweight and chubby even though he is only a few days old. We are going to try to correct his problem, but there is little documented to help a pup who is only days old.
So every day I work on new ideas and invent a new harness to help him and spend time doing physio on his front legs, while his sweet mum looks on.

 At last, the end of the weeks in sight, even yesterday over 15 dogs came in, luckily the staff are great and have it under control, but WHAT A WEEK!!!!

As always thank you for reading my diary, accepting my bad grammar, and not criticising but helping us all to share the care of these very precious animals.

In our shop hangs an embroidered picture. Read it please… I think you will like it.

If you feel able to support what we do here and want to help pups like Moses, the Ukrainian dogs like Muki, Kaila and Sonia then please make a donation to Many Tears. It is only with YOUR help that we are able to continue our work here.

Thank you
Sylvia

The week has started with bad news. I ask for numbers every month, how many dogs homed, how much has been spent, how many staff have been away and how many dogs have come in, how many have needed specialist consultations, or operations, and then I have some idea of where I must pay more attention or raise more funds etc.
This month the bad news is we are 50 thousand pounds down, and as every month we have been down for quite a while that is a nightmare waiting to happen.

We have auditors, accountants and an administrator but these are the people that pay the bills and keep the accounts but don’t have the worry of the bigger picture of how the rescue is truly doing.  For that you really need to know all that’s going on... every single little aspect and here at MT and that is a huge amount of info! So I apologise if you come to the rescue and I don’t remember your name (although I usually do remember your dog’s name!) but I often feel my brain has an overload of information in it constantly.

Instead of worrying I said a prayer and got on with planning the dog show I will be at this weekend. It will be really busy and I hope I may be able to get some much needed funds raised, however it takes a lot of planning and organising and days of packing three vans.

Adoptions have been slow which is not surprising as all rescues are full resulting in an abundance of dogs for prospective adopters to pick from.  Of course, to the staff, fosterers and I feel ours are the most important and although I hope all staff of rescues feel the same about their charges.  I  do wonder if their staff do what ours do... I will explain.

We have a staff chat group just for the staff. There we can post rota changes or anything we want the other staff to know, and they can post too. I always have my phone with me in case of emergencies and all evening, every evening the phone dings with updates from the staff discussing their favourite dogs, or a cute video or picture of a dog that day, or perhaps telling early staff about what a dog would prefer for breakfast, or sharing a dogs achievement that day. The level of care that goes on whilst on their shift and in their minds all night is exemplary, and I am so glad I am able to work with like minded folks.

We had a dog come in this week with a very sad tale. She is a lab and had lost her pet home and was given to a breeder to hand to me when I was up his way next. However, she was totally stressed out in the breeders kennels and barked non stop so he asked us to go and get her.

The second she arrived I could see her eyes were not right, so booked her in to see the eye specialist. The dog is called Jazz and she is very anxious, needy, scared, insecure and clingy but so loving. I cannot imagine how stressful the last months have been for her. I really felt desperate for Rowe Referrals to be able to help her.  I sat through the examination only to be told that her cataracts were not the problem, the problem was she has PRA and the condition will slowly make her go blind and indeed she is nearly blind already.  This is terrible news for her. She is a dog who is better as an only dog, as she wants all a human’s attention, so she does not even have a canine companion to live with as her sight deteriorates. On top of this it’s been suggested she will make a great companion for an elderly person, but sadly she could probably end up tripping them up so perhaps this wouldn't be right for her either. So, this special lab who enjoys her walks and attention and loves to swim is going to have a tough time finding a home..

The good news is that the little schnauzer I took along with me to the |Rowe Referrals IS a candidate for cataract surgery, and though the cost is £6,000 it is so worth it The lady who cares for nearly all our cataract dogs and is a Trustee of Many Tears and says the difference after surgery even the next day is phenomenal. These dogs get a whole new lease of life.

The week is racing by. The vans are packed for the show and I am all but ready. However I keep remembering more and more things to take and the nights (which is when I have time to think) are getting longer and longer.
I feel under pressure to raise a lot of money as this month we have had to spend so much, so I am hoping for great weather and kind public willing to buy our goods.

The show is run by Thames Agility and every year they have been SO good to us. I am hoping I can repay their kindness one year and do something for them.  The show attracts so many agility handlers, they camp at the showground at Newbury showground and run their dogs in the classes and then have nothing particular to do for the rest of their day, so visit our stand. It's on for two days and there will be around three to four thousand dogs on site I would think (who I hope will all need a new lead collar or coat). These items are donated all year, and our wonderful volunteer Kay washes dries and packs coats ready for the show. I then store all year long to use for the two shows I attend. Both shows do not charge for the stall we have , so it’s a win/win, except all the nights I spend sorting these items, and all the hours Kay spends washing and picking off dog hairs on beautiful but hairy coats.

Last week a lovely caring council worker called about three cats that had lost their home. No cat rescue that they tried would or could help, and the future was looking very grim for all. We stepped in and took them here, we would have held them for the family, but the council only has temporary accommodation and cannot foresee when permanent accommodation will come up, it could be over a year. So now our worry is the sweet cats and finding them a person or people to help them and adopt them to give them the love they are used to..

One worry is being fixed today. We had tiled our front reception with donated lino floor tiles.  Sadly these,  due to wear and tear, started to come up and be a trip hazard. A lady who adopted a dog from us works for a company that installs floors and is sending guys to lay donated lino that she has arranged for us to have so I have all morning until now, moving everything ready for them.

I am very excited about this too - Bill's better! Although he is still tired he is now allowed to drive, so he’s off to pick up a dog and I am waiting for lino men.

It’s now the day before I leave to go to the showground to set up. In previous years a very big, strong man has come and helped erect the tents, but this year he’s busy, so I am worried just how we will manage.

The lino was laid by a lovely man and the company even sent a waterproof carpet to do the shop as well.  That product would be ideal for all pet lovers. We are super grateful as it looks wonderful. Next week I will tell you what’s playing heavily on my mind, but I won’t tell you unless I can think of a solution as I don’t want you all to worry too.

Thank you all for your support, it means a whole lot to me, the staff and our wonderful dogs. f you feel able to support us and help us continue by making a donation we would be so grateful
Sylvia x

What can you say about Wales? Yes, I know it's green and beautiful, but boy is it wet!!!! And it's so much easier to smile when the sun is shining.  However, for some, namely the new ex-breeding dogs who are learning to settle into our routine, every day is a day full of smiles. These beautiful gentle souls have learnt to walk on a harness, play in our lovely play yards and to recognise their carers and greet them happily - all of these are huge deals for these dogs. I know the wonderful feeling it is to help these dogs on the way to their new homes and new lives.  

This week I spent a lot of time lying in bed when I should have been asleep wondering what I can do to help these dogs further. I know the answer is really to get them into a foster home asap so they can have more one-to-one help with great human fosterers and good, kind, well-loved and trustful canines to be their role models. However, the reality is there are just not enough amazing fosterers around for all the dogs that come through this rescue and I wish we had more. 

I truly wish money was not a problem, that we did not have to worry week to week about the finances, that we too could afford a big flashy advertisement on TV with specially composed lyrics and music to back it up, that apparently will bring in thousands of pounds in donations, but we don’t as I prefer to spend the sort money it costs to advertise directly on dogs needing help instead. I guess I am just not a good business woman.   Imagine this though, a room with a pool where all dogs could play and learn to swim, the old and the young, the disabled, all free to enjoy the water.  Yes, it's just a dream, but what a dream it is...

The Cane Corsa pups are still here with us and looking for their perfect homes. They are like mini bulldozers and when they decide they will sit on your small lap which is already occupied with three (two of which are too many!) they just bulldoze their way into the mix and there is little anyone can do… bar get squashed!  If anyone does adopt them ever, they will be amazed at what big babies they are. They are all getting on so well at learning to walk on the lead and are walking out daily. Volunteers love their company and they seem very content and happy here, but they eat tons of food and need a lot of love. They will need good guidance in their new homes so they can grow up just as perfect as a cavalier pup... only rather a lot bigger!

Today a lovely golden retriever started to give birth. She really does not look pregnant, and only when about to be spayed did the vet think her belly felt unusual so scanned her. We were all so surprised as the pup was nearly full size so due very soon. Only one was seen on the scanner, but sometimes there can be more unseen. It was a worrying time, as I feared she may need a c-section, and if so this makes it so much harder for the mum to bond with her new pups and stillbirth is a very sad but real possibility. At the end of the day when I had checked her so many times my fears became a reality and this dear girl was taken to our vet for a c-section. One pup was born and needed to be resuscitated. Please send your good thoughts and prayers for this sweet pup and his Mum, I can only hope all goes well and he survives and I hope to bring you good, happy news of this in my next blog.

Our new vet starts on July 15th, but until then we rely on heroes like Jane, a sweet kind homeopathic vet who comes to spay for us and has taught us all the powers in her passion of homeopathy. Also, Siriol and her hubby, who work through their breaks so that more dogs can be seen and so more can be ready to go to new homes or to foster homes. Then there is Tom, a big, tall, kind and cheerful Austrian vet who has come so many times after his own 8-hour day vet work and neuters for us in the evenings. Also Mel, who loves to kayak but so many days that should have been her days off, she comes to help us instead. There are so many more too and I can only tell you how lovely they all are and so happy to help our dogs. One, Wendy is even, along with her friend, getting us a blood analysing machine. I could go on and on about the veterinary world helping me but I will end with Emerald vets a local practice who have supported us for years, who X-ray our dogs that need this, and Sarah the vet nurse there who operates the X-ray machine. These people have helped our dogs now for over 20 years, always being so kind and helpful, squeezing our canine charges in at the last minute. THANK YOU ALL.

This week we have all been working with Winnie, a really dear little very exhausted Cav. She’s just a little dot and came in underweight and walking with a very unusual gait. We all enjoyed enticing her to eat, but in turn that upset her belly. On top of this we had her x-rayed and found that many years ago her pelvis had been broken, and this had mended badly.  Because of her poorly belly, she was isolated until she better, and she has had lots of real one to one time with us. I know what she wants, she wants a special Cavvy home to nurture her and treat her like the princess she is. A home where there are other cavaliers or even just one cav that would allow her to snuggle with them, She breaks my heart thinking of all she has missed out on, so now is the time to pile on the love. I do so hope I can say she has a home in my next diary entry, but in these tough times where new homes and funds are very low, and the number of unwanted dogs and cats and even horses too is very high, well who knows. 

The local council have just called with three VERY urgent cats that need somewhere to go. The family that own them are being evicted and the cats have nowhere to go. The council have no idea how long it will take to find a permanent home for the humans, so the family are forced to give up their three cats, one of which is elderly. This is heartbreaking for all, even the sweet lady from the council was very upset and we will help them.  Poor humans and very poor felines.      

Thank you again for your support, kind words and time and love you give to our charges. If you feel you could make a donation to our rescue and help us to continue please do. 

Some of you know having read my diary weeks before my husband Bill had a heart attack out of the blue.I have tried not to allow this to affect the rescue but of course it has.
This got me thinking that all my staff ought to be trained to do some life-saving resuscitation, should it ever be needed. This week I'm going to give everyone time off at the end of one of their working days so they can go home and look up on the British Heart Foundation website and watch their video showing what to do if someone has a heart attack.
I heard a footballer on TV who had had a heart attack and he said everyone ought to learn to do this, as how would we feel if we couldn't give 15 minutes of our lives to learn how to save someone and then didnt know how to help when faced with an emergency?
Then it got me thinking we needed to get a defibrillator so that if someone has a cardiac arrest we have what's needed here at the rescue. I have no idea how to get one so if anybody knows more and can let me know it would be very helpful. I know it may be expensive but what is someones life worth?

The three Puglets that came in last week have settled to a the routine but the one Pug, Kermit who we were told could be an only dog went off to his new home yesterday and we had no idea of the impact it would make on the other two dogs, especially the pug cross who has howled, and with his little head raised is calling for his friend. It's made me so so sad.
Yesterday was the foster run and one Bichon Frise from a pair was due to go to foster. As I took her out to her place on the van, the other dog left behind stood at the bars and howled. It broke my heart so I asked Joyce, our van driver to take her along too and prayed that a kind fosterer would take them both. I took a chance as it was too early ( before 6am) to call around and ask anyone to take and I so hoped that when the fosterers saw her, they would want to have her and thank goodness they did, so at least that was one dog who wasn't parted from her very best friend.

Horses also have special friends in the form of other equines. If they had the chance, they would choose to stay with their friend all their lives…. if only we would allow them to. If you've read the book “ Black Beauty”, you know that Black Beauty had equine friends and those friends also had a friend. There was Merrry Legs and Ginger - and this wasn’t just a story. It was written from observations from the writer who I understand was not very well, and watched horses out of her window working in their carriages, watching the way man worked them, the way they reacted to other horses andsadly how abused they were. It was later that the book was distributed in America to thousands of children and it taught them compassion and justice. These children from thousands of schools across the USA wrote to the government, to the White House and to the president about the injustice of the way the government allowed Mustangs to be run to exhaustion captivity and death with helicopters.
They had learnt about horses and their feeling loyalties equine friends, all from that special book. It was the children’s questions and demands that were heard and acted on to stop the mustangs enduring the atrocities that they had been put through. This made a huge difference for those Mustangs.

Anyway, back to what I was going to say. We have a horse called Molly. Bill and I rescued her in North Carolina and found her a home when we moved away from North Carolina but a year later her owner didn't want her and I was in no position to find her another place to stay in America because I was at Many Tears in Wales by then.
Bill very kindly paid for her to come back even though she had a condition called laminitis and couldn't be ridden. However Molly was very lonely and sad, so I went to the market where ponies were being sold for as little as £4.00 and I bought a little Shetland foal who became Molly's best friend.
Molly has survived another 17 years from then and is now probably in her latter years and maybe not going to be with us a lot longer and Kenny her little toy boy companion is her best friend ever. Sadly Kenny isn't well either and I dread to think when we lose one or the other how hard it's going to be for them. We don’t always think about friendship animals have for their own kind, animals can have a deep deep bond for their partners and in the world of rescue, especially from breeders, I see it a lot where dogs have come away from the breeder and probably from a sister or mother who they've grown up with and then are torn away from and put with dogs they don’t know or worse than that on their own at a rescue.
I will hear them howling and miserable longing for their soulmate and there's no consoling them at that point because they don't often relate to people at all when they first come in.

We've been very, very lucky we have secured a new Vet for the rescue clinic and I am praying for great things because this lovely Vet has worked in rescue before and understands probably all the things that I worry about so much as she will have seen it all firsthand.

This week after four puppies were born here and were doing so well one of them just went downhill. We couldn't tell why and whilst we were waiting on test result for the pup, our special puppy just crashed, and we worked so hard to save her.  I got up all night worrying about her but I lost her the night before last.
I didn’t tell Bill because I did not want to burden him with my worries. He needs to just get better.

I went to Ireland and I Bill so many times I an sure he was sick of the interruptions! I got family and staff  to check in with him too and a staff member to live in the house whilst I was gone. I drove so many miles, saved so many lives, but I had to park next to a lorry full of veal calves, which made me feel sad.
I got back to the rescue and settled the dogs with our wonderful staff helping. I banged my head so badly that apart from the colour one side of my forehead you’d have thought half my forehead was botoxed!

 
I slept less than two hours. next day picked up more dogs this time in Wales,we accepted in a whole litter of Cane Corsa pups which had not sold, because this is such a difficult breed and accepted in Frenchie pups, their parents and a poor mangey collie, as well as a dog whose tail had been all but chopped off in an accident -  in a door perhaps, and the wound had gone gangrenous and the owner couldn’t or wouldn’t pay a vet to help her, and a doodle.
Now almost comatose, I am wondering where the next day will lead.
I am going to stagger to bed ( if there is space without disturbing the doggy darlings of my household, who think it their God given right to use up at least 7/8ths of the bed!)
  

So that's the news so far this week, one of the panels in the fencing has rotten out and we've got a big white board over it. I am aware I have got to think of something to write on that board as it hits you seeing this blank space not filled.

In two weeks time we've got a stall at Newbury Dog show (June 8th and 9th) which is an agility show and I'm desperate for help on every day I am there, then the beginning of July I've got another stall at Ardingly Showground July 5th, 6th, and 7th) in Sussex and that's the three days show and again I need volunteers. it's very tiring, but a BIG fundraiser. If you can help please let me know.

Everything has to be fitted in with the rescue life and it’s so very tricky... but well worth it.
Because of you all who share our care we can keep going. If you feel able to donate to help us then please do every penny helps these dogs that so desperately need us.
THANK YOU X

Some of you know having read my diary weeks before my husband Bill had a heart attack out of the blue. I have tried not to allow this to affect the rescue but of course it has. This got me thinking that all my staff ought to be trained to do some life-saving resuscitation, should it ever be needed. This week I'm going to give everyone time off at the end of one of their working days so they can go home and look up on the British Heart Foundation website and watch their video showing what to do if someone has a heart attack.

I heard a footballer on TV who had had a heart attack and he said everyone ought to learn to do this, as how would we feel if we couldn't give 15 minutes of our lives to learn how to save someone and then didnt know how to help when faced with an emergency?
Then it got me thinking we needed to get a defibrillator so that if someone has a cardiac arrest we have what's needed here at the rescue. I have no idea how to get one so if anybody knows more and can let me know it would be very helpful. I know it may be expensive but what is someones life worth?

The three Puglets that came in last week have settled to a the routine but the one Pug, Kermit who we were told could be an only dog went off to his new home yesterday and we had no idea of the impact it would make on the other two dogs, especially the pug cross who has howled, and with his little head raised is calling for his friend. It's made me so so sad.
Yesterday was the foster run and one Bichon Frise from a pair was due to go to foster. As I took her out to her place on the van, the other dog left behind stood at the bars and howled. It broke my heart so I asked Joyce, our van driver to take her along too and prayed that a kind fosterer would take them both. I took a chance as it was too early ( before 6am) to call around and ask anyone to take and I so hoped that when the fosterers saw her, they would want to have her and thank goodness they did, so at least that was one dog who wasn't parted from her very best friend.

Horses also have special friends in the form of other equines. If they had the chance, they would choose to stay with their friend all their lives…. if only we would allow them to. If you've read the book “ Black Beauty”, you know that Black Beauty had equine friends and those friends also had a friend. There was Merrry Legs and Ginger - and this wasn’t just a story. It was written from observations from the writer who I understand was not very well, and watched horses out of her window working in their carriages, watching the way man worked them, the way they reacted to other horses andsadly how abused they were. It was later that the book was distributed in America to thousands of children and it taught them compassion and justice. These children from thousands of schools across the USA wrote to the government, to the White House and to the president about the injustice of the way the government allowed Mustangs to be run to exhaustion captivity and death with helicopters.
They had learnt about horses and their feeling loyalties equine friends, all from that special book. It was the children’s questions and demands that were heard and acted on to stop the mustangs enduring the atrocities that they had been put through. This made a huge difference for those Mustangs.

Anyway, back to what I was going to say. We have a horse called Molly. Bill and I rescued her in North Carolina and found her a home when we moved away from North Carolina but a year later her owner didn't want her and I was in no position to find her another place to stay in America because I was at Many Tears in Wales by then.
Bill very kindly paid for her to come back even though she had a condition called laminitis and couldn't be ridden. However Molly was very lonely and sad, so I went to the market where ponies were being sold for as little as £4.00 and I bought a little Shetland foal who became Molly's best friend.
Molly has survived another 17 years from then and is now probably in her latter years and maybe not going to be with us a lot longer and Kenny her little toy boy companion is her best friend ever. Sadly Kenny isn't well either and I dread to think when we lose one or the other how hard it's going to be for them. We don’t always think about friendship animals have for their own kind, animals can have a deep deep bond for their partners and in the world of rescue, especially from breeders, I see it a lot where dogs have come away from the breeder and probably from a sister or mother who they've grown up with and then are torn away from and put with dogs they don’t know or worse than that on their own at a rescue.
I will hear them howling and miserable longing for their soulmate and there's no consoling them at that point because they don't often relate to people at all when they first come in.

We've been very, very lucky we have secured a new Vet for the rescue clinic and I am praying for great things because this lovely Vet has worked in rescue before and understands probably all the things that I worry about so much as she will have seen it all firsthand.

This week after four puppies were born here and were doing so well one of them just went downhill. We couldn't tell why and whilst we were waiting on test result for the pup, our special puppy just crashed, and we worked so hard to save her.  I got up all night worrying about her but I lost her the night before last.
I didn’t tell Bill because I did not want to burden him with my worries. He needs to just get better.

I went to Ireland and I Bill so many times I an sure he was sick of the interruptions! I got family and staff  to check in with him too and a staff member to live in the house whilst I was gone. I drove so many miles, saved so many lives, but I had to park next to a lorry full of veal calves, which made me feel sad.
I got back to the rescue and settled the dogs with our wonderful staff helping. I banged my head so badly that apart from the colour one side of my forehead you’d have thought half my forehead was botoxed!
I slept less than two hours. next day picked up more dogs this time in Wales,we accepted in a whole litter of Cane Corsa pups which had not sold, because this is such a difficult breed and accepted in Frenchie pups, their parents and a poor mangey collie, as well as a dog whose tail had been all but chopped off in an accident -  in a door perhaps, and the wound had gone gangrenous and the owner couldn’t or wouldn’t pay a vet to help her, and a doodle.
Now almost comatose, I am wondering where the next day will lead.
I am going to stagger to bed ( if there is space without disturbing the doggy darlings of my household, who think it their God given right to use up at least 7/8ths of the bed!)

So that's the news so far this week, one of the panels in the fencing has rotten out and we've got a big white board over it. I am aware I have got to think of something to write on that board as it hits you seeing this blank space not filled.

Intwo weeks time we've got a stall at Newbury Dog show (June 8th and 9th) which is an agility show and I'm desperate for help on every day I am there, then the beginning of July I've got another stall at Ardingly Showground July 5th, 6th, and 7th) in Sussex and that's the three days show and again I need volunteers. it's very tiring, but a BIG fundraiser. If you can help please let me know.

Everything has to be fitted in with the rescue life and it’s so very tricky... but well worth it.
Because of you all who share our care we can keep going
THANK YOU X

So yet another week has passed and of course it's been full of all the ups and downs that this world has to offer.

Some beautiful little cavs came in last week and our hearts went out to all of them. They looked so used up, so lost, and so sad, it's very hard to see such a gentle kind breed like this.
Today it is no longer sunny and instead we have a storm and cold winds blowing with driving rain and slate grey skies.
We had a wonderful foster come from up North and collect not only some very beautiful dogs to go to foster but one of our lovely Cavaliers who was in such a state went too.
This will mean for the first time in her life, tonight she'll sleep in a house and be loved and cared for. So, despite the rubbish weather my heart is full of happiness.

There has been a lot of phone calls this week we've had a lot of dogs brought to us.
One poor lady brought her young Doberman to us, he is less than a year old.
She had to bring him because both her daughter and her husband were unwell and in hospital. It must have been so terribly sad to have to let your dog go because you literally cannot care for him because you're caring for your family members.
He's a wonderful dog but very, very bouncy! His name is Winston and I saw him when he arrived, He greeted someone like they were his long-lost soulmate, even though he'd never met them in his whole life!
 

The police brought in Labrador, to help somebody who was having a terrible time and could not care for the dog any longer.
It would have been very easy for the police to not help, to wash their hands and say…. "well you've got the dog, you need to find a way to get it to someone to care for it,” , but when somebody is already not well, this is very hard for them mentally and physically.
Anyway, the dogs with us and he's a beautiful labrador, so he should find a home. We are very grateful to to the police for their kind actions and compassion for both the dog and the human.

We also had three terribly sad old pug-type dogs brought in, they had been looking for a home desperately and I mean desperately asthe owner had to move and where she moved to she wasn't allowed to keep the dogs.
She left the dogs with  her elderly mother who had a garden with a shed and as her own dog did not like being around the puglet trio she had to have them live in the shed. A few years ago, one of the pug was diagnosed with cancer and they were told that the dog would have a few months to live, so obviously he's on borrowed time but he is doing so wll and he is still happy!  This little trio that were homeless  are not dogs that many will want to help. They're old dogs and deserve a soft place, a wonderful place, with humans that will love and provide them with warmth comfort and kindness.

I feel so sorry for them when I see them looking out waiting for someone who will never be able to come back and get them.

We have kennels full of these very sad dogs now. It’s important that my staff have some good happy things that happen to keep their spirits up, and the fosters taking some of these dogs into their homes is what really lifts our spirits.

The whole week has also been full of phone calls after our opening hours. I always pick up the phone with ”Hello this is Many Tears emergency line, is this an emergency please?” and nine times out of ten they say it is. Then I hear their emergency.
Last night the emergency was “ I have just come back from being out”( it is 11 .45pm at night so where was she out that late leaving a dog?) and my dog has torn up my house and I don't want it!!! "
I felt sorry for the poor, poor, lonely sad dog, but obviously at that time of night I can't do anything to help so I asked her to call in the morning. I don't know if it was her or someone else, but every hour that night I got a call and when I answeed they down the phone, over and over. This is very annoying and worrying because I'm trying not to wake Bill up, as he needs as much sleep as he can so he can recover.

Another man phoned up and said he had a pocket bully and asked us to take him. I said I wouldn't know until the morning whether we had the space and that the dog  would have to get on with other dogs because we are very short space . He said "Oh no, he can't do that. He can be a bit violent at times".  I said I'm really sorry we wouldn’t be able to take him, so the man got angry, saying “ So you want me to shoot him do you?”
I tried to be calm and tell him how we have no spare kennels at the moment, so he then said “ You call yourself a dog hotel?” I explain no, we are not a dog hotel but a rescue who are very full!
He wasn't very pleased and put the phone down on me and then about five minutes later called me and called me a name which I will not write and put the phone down again.
Poor dog, what is going to happen to him? It's horrible.

Some people have been lovely. The staff seem to be working extra hard and have been helping so much so that there's less worry for me  and I've been able to look after Bill as best I can.
Hank, my Irish Wolfhound and I have been  doing lots of cooking for Bill. Hank does the clean-up but he is not supposed to... but if my backs turned he is so tall that he counter surfs with ease and then afterwards he sits there all innocent, like nothing happened, but then I notice something is missing off the counter! (It could be a lump of cheese or whatever he fancies!)
I've been trying to train him to go and lie down whilst I'm doing the cooking but he's not that good at that bit. He's certainly very, very good at the clean-up bit though!

Bill is recovering, thank goodness and now I'm worrying about the next dog collection run that we've got coming up. We've got to pick up a lot of dogs and I am worrying about where they're all going to go and how we're going to keep them all happy, how much  bedding we have and dustpan and brushes and all sorts of ridiculous things that play around in my mind at night that haven't happened! 

I then remember to say a prayer to thank my God. I am hopeless at that but I'm really good at asking for things, like, "Please get Bill better", "Please do this", "Please do that", but I'm not that good at thanking my God for all He has done to make this happen and whether you believe in God or not Someone up there, or somewhere, is looking over this place.

It's a tough place to manage, a tough place to run but an incredibly wonderful place to be, so thank you everyone for your support as always thank you for bothering to read this. And remember if you need healing, our dogs will supply the tools. So please feel welcome to come. Please email mtvolunteering@gmail.com to arrange this. 
If you care about the rescue and support what we do, please consider making a donation to help us to continue to rescue the Winstons, Marleys and Puglets that desperately need us.

To say it's been a hard week isn't an underestimate.  Coming back from Ireland and finding Bill had had a major heart attack was a huge sad shock and fitting in going to see him, trying to keep strong myself and making sure that the rescue was running properly was extremely hard. However, I have really amazing staff and they all carried me and I was able to keep going.  Of course there were a lot of phone calls, a lot of dogs coming in and going out and a lot of sadnesses this week.

A wonderful husky who we called Dancer came in on the last run with a terrible mammary tumour.  This had spread so far that when the vet removed it she felt there was no hope for her. Dancer had a huge operation and we sent the lump off to the laboratories to be tested. The report back showed that the operation had been done very well and because it had huge margins (which meant there was less chance of the mass having spread) and that it had not involved any lymph nodes (which make things spread much faster) we went from thinking that Dancer would not have a chance of much life to suddenly believing that she might have a decent amount of life left. This makes us very happy as Dancer has never had the chance of a home and to be surrounded by those who love her. She's a calm gentle dog, and it will make all the difference in the world if somebody could just adopt her.

We've had the usual phone calls wanting to bring in dogs. It's been a Bank Holiday weekend and because of that our local council are shut and there is no dog warden to pick up stray dogs that are found. We end up taking them here which I personally hate because if the people who own the dogs do come forward to claim them and I’m unsure of them or they have a negative attitude, I still have to give the dog back.

It's been particularly hard this week as I wanted to visit Bill in hospital but twice had to wait a long time for strays to be brought in. I've been so preoccupied worrying about Bill, worrying about how to keep the place running and worrying about the things I think I've forgotten that it's made the week very long.

A beautiful dog called Macaroon who came in a few weeks ago very pregnant had her puppies by C-section and then had a calcium deficiency.  She now has mastitis very badly and this entails us giving a lot of medicines and having to wrap her with cabbage leaves which is supposed to help mastitis. It's a horrible painful condition and results in very very hard inflamed mammary glands. There isn't a cure but to help poor Macaroon she is on pain relief, antibiotics, homeopathic medicine and a lot of TLC.

Leah my daughter got one of those suits for dogs who have been spayed and cut holes for Macaroon’s nipples. We could then poke the cabbage leaves up there around her nipples which were exposed out of the suit so the puppies could still feed on the good unaffected nipples. It was quite genius and has stayed in place. Sadly she doesn’t seem to be getting a lot better and in the worst case scenario we are going to have to take the puppies and hand rear them and give this Macaroon something to dry up her milk.  The vet who came and did C-section spayed her at the same time which means she won't have to go through anything like this again.

We just seem to be full of puppies at the moment.  So many little souls who are born into a world who doesn't seem to want them.  We're very lucky to have good volunteers to sit and help socialise them but it still makes me so sad to see them all in kennels.

We had a litter of retriever cross pups however they are a good 5½ to 6 months old. Some are quite pretty and others quite plain but today my spirits were lifted when the puppy I would've predicted would be the last to be adopted was in fact the first! She was a beautiful dog but jet black and for some reason that is the least likely dog to get adopted from a rescue. It really shouldn't be about the colour but it does seem to be. There's only another 4 to go - all big puppies that will grow to big dogs and well past the date of being desirable to most of the public.  They are all being loved here but needing so much more than they can get in kennels.  Sadly less than 24 hours later the black beautiful pup who got adopted was returned as she was guarding her new dad and snapping at the other dogs in the home.  I explained she is terrified, all is new and she needs time but they said their dogs and kids are scared of her. As I have said so many times, the highs are often followed by BIG lows.

Bill was allowed home after a week away and its WONDERFUL! He is weak and tired after the lifesaving care but he’s back.  We have to keep our 15 dogs we live with away from him as he cannot afford to get a bruise or worse still get a cut.  It’s doable but sad as I cannot change the dogs routines.  Some of them are very old and slept with us all their lives. So he sleeps away from me and the dogs and I miss him although he’s only in a room below mine.

The week’s been a real open eye for us both Bill and I. When you nearly lose somebody, it makes you really think about your life. For me I think about how little time I give people and how I'm always wrapped up in the rescue, and I don't deserve any friends as I never give them time.  When this happened both my daughters offered help, one daughter and her husband and my grandchild came down and stood by my side and worked tirelessly to make things better for Bill when he got back. In addition, Joyce came and scrubbed our cottage and they all came without being asked and without expecting a word of thanks as I was so wrapped up in what I was doing, but of course I thank them all because without them I wouldn't have been able to keep the place running and my sanity.

Snapping back to the running of the rescue, we've got no vet now as our vet has left. We are running with the help of all the kind vets who have ever helped us in the past who come and giving us a day here and there. I interviewed somebody who's living in the Cayman Islands but they might well want to take a job elsewhere.  At last vets are being valued but that means to hire them is very expensive but when I saw how hard the nurses and doctors worked in the hospital it made me think about the vets and vet nurses too.  They all do very long hard hours.

It's really important that we find our own vet because

1. Our dogs are scared and I don't want to put them in vans and drive them to places, leave them and then pick them up and put them back in the van and bring them back.
2. Having the vets surgery on site is so much better for the dogs, cats and me as I then can help all night keep their spirits up and love them.
3. It works out more cost effective in the long run as we have to see vets all the time for our dogs even if it's just for worming and inoculations.

My challenge this week is to try to find a compassionate vet and quickly which also means finding extra money as this will not come without considerable expense.  This has made me think about the dog shows I attend next month and the month after. I will have to have somebody stay in our cottage to make sure Bill is safe while I'm gone as the venues are quite far away. These two shows are a few days each bring in £7,000-£8,000.

In addition to everything else I have worried about little Brian a darling little cavalier pup who came from a breeder who said he could not bare to put him to sleep so could we take him?  Brian arrived with a big swelling on his head which our vet thought was possibly hydrocephalus, a nasty condition dogs and humans can have.  We asked a wonderful fosterer to take him to a specialist. There they thought some of his skull is missing and what was making the lump was his brain. They wanted to investigate further to see if they can fit a plate over the hole and yes all that would cost thousands of pounds. However, thousands against the value of a pup's life… well there is no comparison, so I said please go ahead and see what can be done.
Brian is as bright as a button and there are no neurological signs of any difficulties.  He’s just such a dude so we all crossed our fingers and toes for him and have just heard the wonderful news that little Brian does not have hydrocephalus!!  Instead, the swelling has possibly been caused by trauma or a cyst. Tests are being done for him and he has already had an MRI and ultrasound and now samples of the fluid on his head are being sent away to see whether he needs antibiotics, or an operation. So that is great news and someone somewhere will one day hopefully be able to adopt this wonderful, playful pup and he will be forever cherished. The bad news though is that he will still have a vet bill that has cost us at least £3000!

Today we had an emergency call to take in a dog and if we had not taken this sweet dog she was to be put to sleep. When Shadow arrived, we were all completely taken aback. All her ribs poked through her hide as well as her hip bones and back bone. She is an 8-year-old Weimaraner, still trusting and loving man, even though a human had let her get like this. We are doing all we can for Shadow but she truly did take my breath away.

It's important to me that the staff are happy because if they're happy in turn my dogs are happy. You might ask yourself what makes the staff happy and you'll be amazed to hear what it is. It could be something as simple as the fact they can find a dustpan and brush, a pair of scissors or a thermometer as all of these things seem to have their own legs and walk off and disappear when you need them!  Oh and especially a microchip reader along with so many other things but usually it’s because a puppy that hasn't had a good tummy has had the perfect poo and then we all jump around and are so happy!

Week one million and one of 2024.Yes, I know it’s not but it really feels like it is. It’s been a super busy worrying week. I am writing this on the boat yet again (the only cruise I know!) on the way to Ireland. I was not going to go this week, but heard of some dogs being PTS, so I came.

Saturday nights are my special night (supposedly). Once I finish work, I try not to work all evening. This Saturday Bill and I agreed to watch a film. I was really looking forward to this but then I wasn’t. A phone call changed everything. A very upset lady called who was desperate for somewhere to take her beloved dog at that very moment at night. It took her well over an hour to find us. As I walked out of the house I could hear her sobbing uncontrollably. She was having to leave the area, her beloved dog, her life, immediately. Her dog, a wonderful black lab watched her intensely, wagging trying to get her attention. She signed her over and I took the dog to kennels, turned on her heater and rushed back to make sure the lady was ok to drive. After a while she left and I went back to see the dog. She had long spaghetti like drools hanging off her lips. She sat at the kennel door worrying. I gave her a pig’s ear and stroke but she was so upset. I went up to see Bill (now in bed), then went down to see the dog again. The sight was the same, so I went in and lay on her duvet, and she lay beside me until about 2am when I snuck away. In the early hours I took her out and played with her. My staff got word of her story and all morning staff visited her, walked with her and comforted her until she was a wagging happy girl enjoying life again. The staff decided to do a special video to find her a home. Now she’s booked in with our vet schedule to be spayed on Tuesday.

Up here in Wales life is very hard for many, the cost of living is high, the amount of government help low. It’s almost impossible to get a dentist unless you go private. If you have a problem and need surgery the waiting list is years. The nurses are just paid enough and work very long shifts, dogs lose their homes each day just because people lose their homes, jobs, partners, etc. It’s MISERABLE. Especially for the dog who has no idea why his family is gone. There are so many reasons dogs are losing their homes but these dogs are the saddest ones to be in kennels by far as they have known the good life. My staff are incredible, the compassion they have, the devotion they show, I am so so lucky to be surrounded by them.

Last week, Joyce picked up Dot - a frenchie from our agent in Ireland (she was rescued there along with her friend, who the vet could not save). Dot had an ulcer that had burst in her eye, her other eye had severe eye pressure problems. Bill, bless him, went out at night to a chemist open late and got a special prescription of eye drops to try and help her. By Monday we will know if these are helping, if not she will need not only one eye out (the ruptured eye), but also the high blood pressure eye. The plan is for a vet to take her eye pressure, if its gone up we rush her to a specialist. If the pressure keeps going down we continue using the drops. I have seen many many ex-breeding dogs that lose both eyes. They go into a complete melt down, deep depression, sit miserable for weeks. This is very hard for them and desperate for those who love them, like me. I so hope I can report something happy later this week, but I think it’s in God’s hands as we are doing all we can.

Well, its late now, I must try to sleep so I am strong to get around to all I need to pick up from tomorrow. Its been a long long drive up here and the boat was late in, I am exhausted and yes worrying about tomorrow.

Next day, up early thinking of Dot, life cannot be that mean to a little ex-breeder who has never seen the beach, the sea, riverbanks and meadows. I say out loud as I drive the van with only dogs in cages to witness “please God, let Dot keep at least one eye”. The vets to arrive at 9am, so I pull over to call. I can hardly contain myself. Great, amazing, fantastic news, her eye pressure has decreased a little! We are not out of the woods yet but we are heading in the right direction. I am excited, though have a migraine starting.

Now, nearly 4pm, watering 30 plus dogs, only 3 vaguely walk on leads so not able to exercise all the dogs in case they get spooked and I lose them here. It’s been a very long day but at last it’s stopped raining. I have had a breeder call to pick up dogs near home, so Bill is going out to do that. Still no vets have applied for our job. So much going on in my head, I wish I could find peace for all the dogs and me.

On my way back home, last dog loaded (stinking of fox), I’m about to leave for Belfast port and I got terrible news. Bill has been found collapsed. They had rushed him to hospital. I am now on a different ferry to Scotland that leaves earlier so I can get back to him faster. I will drive through the night and my amazing staff will be there to support me so I can go to the hospital. The dogs on board are all so special and I just know tomorrow will be the start of an amazing new start for them all.

I come home, dump the van and dogs with any extra instructions and fly to the hospital broken. I get back from the hospital to find staff all respectfully leaving me alone. The place was buzzing, dogs bathed, having vet health checks and everyone working so hard. Even the stinky collie (now called Lucy) I picked up was smelling better. Joyce had picked up the dogs for us too that Bill wasn’t able to and Dot’s eye pressure remains better, she has an appointment on Friday to see the specialist.
It’s been a tough week, but Bill and the dogs are all alive, the rescue’s still running, dogs lives are being saved. We need a vet and to win the lottery but lives are being saved every day, so I have a lot to thank God for.

At last, there is a glimpse of spring, and I promise you that’s not a second too early. The weather has made my job even harder this year, and everyone had started to feel low. My staff have constantly suffered from colds, flus, bad stomach bugs and so much more. Of our 63 staff, we are truly lucky if at least 3 are not away sick at any one time. It's miserable for them, and for me. For them as they cannot be with the dogs that they are all so passionate about and me because even if I dream of a day off, I never seem to get it.

The week started very badly, with the sweetest little puppy fitting. Despite all we did, we could not get the pup to come around and just before we were going to put the little guy to sleep, he died. The pain of losing him was intense. A vet told me that she too had raised pups to 7 weeks once, and then lost one and never found out why. We both suspected this pup had a liver shunt, something that often does not show till a pup is weaned, and is often sadly inoperable. Things like this happen and usually I have taken full responsibility for the pup so have taken hours nursing them, getting up in the night and praying. I leave Bill and the dogs asleep and creep with dread to the surgery, where I will check on pups or adults that need nightly monitoring, praying they have not died without me. If they have to die, I at least want to be there to say to them that we love them and care. It's so very hard.

This job is much more than the obvious. Many Tears was my dream, and as I got older, sadder and tired, I also put together a bucket list. The more I have learnt, seen, and understood, the more responsible I feel. Every day, hour and minute are precious to us all, but for the dogs we have rescued, it’s even more precious. Their lives are so much shorter than ours, and so many who arrive here have had their lives tainted with bad experiences, or no stimulation at all.

The last BIG project on my list is now completed, and though there is the ongoing worry of running costs for the rescue, needing new vans, the hiring scheduling, and having time to breathe, my last big push for this to happen is done. This is something that some would say was not needed, but I think it is VERY much needed. My bucket list of 20 years is a play enrichment area for the dogs, horses, ponies, and people who spend their time here both voluntarily or paid, and of course for the dogs who are in kennels through no fault of their own. As every penny here is valuable and I make sure it's never spent on frivolous things, I had to plan how to do this.

First, I wrote many letters to companies, celebrities and anyone who I thought would be able to help. I asked for a contribution to making the area and explained why. Though thousands throughout the UK have built sand schools for their equines with no planning permission, I wanted to be sure to get this right. When my friend Sue died, she left me money for the dogs, ponies and especially for the donkey's enjoyment. With this, I was able to buy land. Some of the suitable land was only overlooked by a place that made metal trailers and buildings, and had no planning for anyone else to go there, so I thought this would be a good place. It was easy for wheelchair access and easy for us to use as it was so close. The plans were submitted via a professional who charged us as a charity £2000!

The plans had gone through, but when Bill was marking the area out, he saw that the architect had mistakenly drawn the plans up in feet not metres. The architect was super embarrassed and said he would not charge to submit it again!! Sadly, the council made us pay again. Then a neighbour, who did not like the view from his workplace, went to lots of other neighbours and asked them to sign to block this. Some of these people lived half a mile away! I was so sad, not just for the animals, the staff, the volunteers and the groups who come to enjoy and help, but for how sad, mean and unkind humans can be.

Eventually, we got the planning permission and the sand area and fencing were paid for. However, the equipment to explore, play, climb on and enjoy needed a lot of imagination. Then, it was time to put my imagination on paper, source the materials and build, paint, and install. I wanted the equines to learn to trust us, face their fears and enjoy the space. I wanted the dogs to have free spirits and be able to run, jump, climb, chase each other and enjoy.

I started to appeal for scrap, tyres, plastic tarps, off cuts of artificial grass, packing materials, old spoons, old pallets and more. I drew up my plans and with the help of the staff, the equipment and toys were made! Some grew as they were made owing to the size of some of the tyres. Each piece took many hours, a mass of imagination and lots of dedication. Mike, Simon, Bob and myself worked so hard to achieve this, while staff would pop in and out of the barn to see the progress. Now it's finished and I cannot explain what it looks like so instead here are a series of pictures to give you a clue.

It is the only enrichment area in the World like this, as every piece is custom made from my dreams and recycled. I called this enrichment area “Rainbows End" and I hope it will be like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow for many. The beagle that stands at the gate is to remember all the beagles that die needlessly for vivisection. The huge horse is to remember all of the horses who died in wars.

Now a little about my staff. Of course, they are not really my staff, as they don’t really work for me but instead work for the dogs and horses that we all love so very much. There are 63 staff members and all are special, all with a deep love of animals. We all recognise the mental pain the dogs go through, like this week when someone died and sadly left his dog behind. His son lived next door and took the dog in, but she was SO distraught and all she wanted was to go back to her home next door and to her dad, but she could not. Her pain was immense and so the son made the decision to bring her to us. It just so happens that we have an amazing lady called Kay, who cleans our vet surgery and lifts all our spirits, and she has two springers. So I called her and asked if she would foster this lovely old springer who was pining so hard. She immediately came to collect her and all is going very well.

At the end of the day, if a dog is in a kennel alone and sad, the staff are asked if anyone can help, and SO many do and will step in and welcome the dog into their homes, it's amazing. But sometimes it’s the staff who need that extra love, help and a hug and this week it’s Toni. She is a very popular staff member who loves the dogs, people and life. Very sadly her Canadian dad is very unwell. In Canada, the health services are poor with long waiting lists, and without treatment very soon Toni's dad will die. She is proud with a wonderful heart, so I am hoping that you all may spare a pound or two and donate to Toni's Go Fund Me page. Toni's dad is now in Texas, where he only has a tiny window of time to find the funds for treatment. 

I know this is not a normal request, as we are a dog rescue primarily and not a human one, but this place wouldn't exist if it was not for the humans who support it to grow and to become a place of dreams.

Lastly, thank you for your support each week. It means a lot. EVERY single week there is at least one dog that must go to a specialist. This week it is a little Frenchie who has a spinal problem. She is having X-rays and then will most likely need to be referred to a specialist. We never know what dogs we are picking up or what problems financially and emotionally we will face, and how and if we will be able to help these dogs. It is because of you all we have the chance to keep helping them. THANK YOU!

I would first like to say I am sorry if I offend anyone with my diary for the week. These are my thoughts, pains, and elations. We all have opinions and mine are based on what I know, the vets I have worked with and the dogs I have met.

I fight for the dogs as they live in my world, and they often have no voice. To me, a dog is superior to humans.
If you take the percentage of humans who have committed terrible crimes, to the percentage of dogs who have, there is no competition.
If you take the percentage of humans who are loyal and honest, to the percentage of dogs who are, there is no competition.

Yes, humans can invent, build and get rich but at what cost to others? Trust, loyalty, and love outweigh human assets. But this is just my opinion, and that’s why, to me, a dog is far superior to humans. So again, for last week's entry and the person who was so sad about what I wrote, I would never try to hurt anyone. Those words are just my opinions at the time, no one elses.  For those dogs lost last week I engraved 3 leaves and hung them in our remembrance tree, all never to be forgotten!

The day after the terrible day of last week, still feeling low and full of cold, I walked by “Yuma”, and he made me smile...

I will try to explain.
Over 25 years ago on a sponsored lonely 3,500-mile horseback ride in Arizona, I made the decision to open “Many Tears”. It was a good 5 years later I did this, but I knew it would happen. After the ride and when just married to Bill, my cowboy/businessman of my dreams, he took me on a road trip.
To impress me, he booked what he thought was a special hotel along the way, it was in Yuma and in the middle of nowhere.  The hotel turned out to be a real dive with cockroaches running on the floor. It was  certainly very memorable!

On the trip home, we stopped at a roadside service for fuel. Beside the pumps were hundreds of plaster statues of dogs, lizards, donkeys, just about anything you could imagine.
I wandered about until I came to a pile of rejects, one of which was a 2-foot plaster dog. Some of hisforehead, back and rump broke off and missing. I wandered into the shop where Bill was paying for the fuel and asked about the dog on the scrap heap.
They looked at me with a knowing expression (I’m sure they were thinking “Yes, the English are mad”) and told me 1 dollar was his cost. I picked him up and told Bill I was going to mend him as I had a big job for him (and at that point I think Bill had thought “Yes, English people are nuts).

Bill’s dad had one of those workshops every man envies. Every tool, clean and in its place, drawers of extras, glues, nuts, screws, sheets of fibre glass, resin, the lot. I asked if I could use it, and on the go ahead set about mending “Yuma”.

Once satisfied, I painted him, put a slot in his neck for funds, and proudly showed him to Bill, his dad, and family. His dad said I was mad, shipping him home would cost a packet. And years later it cost $40 to send to the UK.
The reason I smiled that day on passing him, was because a staff member threw their coat over him, and it brought back memories. This plaster dog who no one at the rescue knows his name or history other than Bill and I, he has raised well over £10,000 over the years. (From scrap heap to that!)

So that smile on my face set me up for a days success.

xxxx
My remaining 3 tiny pups seem to be on the mend and the larger oneswere going from strength to strength, they started playing, snuggling, crying when I left, being aware of my love, and craving my comfort.
The staff, through hard work and belief, homed a long-term staying dog called Hazel, a Pug x Boxer, and to top it all off, a big donation of raw food came in. What was there not to smile about?

Once or twice a month, I travel to pick up dogs in either North or South Ireland. This takes a huge amount of planning, organising, and of course money. The planning to making this trip go without any hiccups is so huge. I always get a 3-day migraine on the buildup to going, I take pills, do massages on my head, pressure points to stop this from happening, but it doesn’t, its just my way of life. Ive had to get used to it for many years. I dont say much to anyone anymore, as its so boring for people to hear, just try to grin and bear it, and work through it, so I have one today, yes, 3 days before I leave.

I used to go with my dogs as company, but now with different travel laws in Ireland I cannot take anyone, so for company I have a talking book. I’m grateful I have the privilege of collecting these dogs to find new homes, but sad I have to put them into crates, and take them all that way to start their journey to happiness.

Wonderful supporters cut up duvets, and I make each dogs crate comfy and inviting, I drip lavender oil on their beds to relax them, good food and sausages (thank you to Stenaline who give them to me for breakfast + extras, but as a vegan I save them for the dogs) I try to make the journey as easy as possible, but as I drive through the Many Tears gates I thank God for getting me home safely.

Sunday is a very early start for me, in fact 3:30am, as I have pups to feed, 2 tiny new borns to tube feed as mum hasn't got a lot of milk, then all the sections that I am assigned to do in the morning and feed.

Next, all the paperwork for the foster van to check, 6am staff and Joyce who drives, comes in. The dogs get microchip scanned, checked, and a wooly jumper so they aren't cold in the van. This Sunday 24 lucky babies will go to foster homes where they will be loved, cherished, and helped until their forever homes can be found. However special we try to make it in kennels for the dogs, nothing can compare to a home.

Sunday is also decision day for me, I count those who have gone to foster, count those who have been adopted, and look at the number of dogs coming in on the Irish run, and I look through a huge amount calls, begging for help. Some, we had asked to only call if it was at the end of their lives, because no one else can take them. Many this week are because they cannot afford veterinary treatment and have been advised to put their dog to sleep if they do not want to or cannot pay. Some, because people are moving, others, relationship break ups, deaths, and even a dog if it's growing too big for the home! I won’t write my thoughts on that.....anyway, this is not a nice job playing God, in the past I call back to make sure they have found a place because I have not heard from them, only to be told “we had to put him to sleep because we were moving” they had never made the second call to say it was an emergency.

To me, dogs are so much better than humans who can treat them as throw away commodities. A dog never throws away his loyalty to a human, now this may make me sound so cynical, I meet some amazing humans and admire them greatly, so please don't think I hate people, it's just on the whole, I love dogs more. So today I have to try to help all I can who no other rescue or individual could help and it's a really big weight on my shoulders, of course all week we have taken in the desperate, the no hopers, and of course the ex-breeders, but now it's the list that needs to be checked, as for me, they should never be never out of sight out of mind, if I slip up and don't follow up some get put to sleep, but others will suffer.

That brings me to Dupree and all those that came with her, a good 5 months previously I had a call from a breeder a long way away, wanting him and his friend's bulldog types to be picked up. I talked at length to him and said to call someone I knew nearer to him who ran a great rescue, but to call me if they couldn't help. He didn't call me. And neither did I check with my friend or him.

It was a human slip up, and one I cannot forgive myself for, as 5 months later he called again, same dogs, same problem. I was so cross with myself for not picking them up the first time, we were pretty full, I still sent the van out to collect them. I wish I had gone myself, but I could not, and neither could my usual driver, so we sent a new driver.

When the dogs arrived home it was clear that they some were Frenchie's, but others were British Bulldog mixed with Frenchie's to get the appearance of mini British Bulldogs. They had mange, breathing problems, and worse. So far, their vets' bills exceed £10,000, and one died a week after having an emergency surgery.

These poor bull breeds of dogs that have very flat noses suffer beyond belief, next time you see one on a walk, stop and look at its nostrils. Are they big and round? Or are they slits? Now, pinch your nostrils, not completely shut, but nearly, now breathe, now run about a bit, by this time I expect your mouth is open, but what if the inside of your mouth was so fleshy, and your airways so small, that the intake of air was a true problem? Now imagine this every day, all your life, until you possibly die gasping!!

Now tell me you still want these breeders to breed these poor suffering dogs, and hey, what's the Kennel Club, or the major animal welfare authorities, or the council, or the public doing about it.
We had to do nasal wedges to open the dogs' airways so they could breathe, one dog has a collapsed trachea, all underweight, and had mange.

One very special girl Dupree, was sick every time she was fed, we tried feeding her small feeds, liquid feeds, so many variations, but she was still being sick, we had her x-rayed to see if she had a deformity like megaoesophagus and found she did, but it was a very serious type, as the problem was before her heart, not after.
Our vet felt it kindest to put her to sleep, but I saw her in between being sick and she was happy, lively, and loving, so I disagreed and sent her to a specialist for an MRI, this did not give us any answers, and they could not see any operation that could help her, but told us about some drugs we could try. Dan and Lily, two employees offered to take her to their home, and they, and the drugs have worked miracles.

She was spayed this week, and is going from strength to strength, and now just needs a home with a little bit of time to feed her the correct way, and a few times a day.  So, though I messed up, and did not pick these guys up sooner, we have managed to make their lives a lot happier, and though I went against the vet's advice, Dupree is alive, very happy, and hoping for a forever home, and that is yet another thing to smile about. 

And now I’m writing my final part for my weeks entry and I’m on a ferry feeling flustered and worried, the crossing is rough, and expected to get worse.  When I left the rescue I had to let Bill go alone to a very isolated farm to pick up a lot of dogs and puppies, it's a very hard location to find, and you literally have to drive through fields, farm yards, and around the side of a mountain, I felt so sad he had to go alone, as I know how hard it is to find the place, but I had to catch that ferry.

I will get into Ireland, drive nearly 4 hours, sleep, then start driving to my first pickup. By starting early I can stop lots to change beds, water and feed, believe me, it will be a very long day.  The whole trip turned out to be a real adventure, even the ferry crossing was a real eye opener. On board there was a clan (maybe that's the wrong word) of well over 30 men, around half I suspect were inebriated, and loud, there was also about 40 old age pensioners who were on a coach trip. When it was time to disembark we line up by the door to the stairs, and the sweet very old age pensioners were standing with sticks etc. waiting. However, a man from the large group literally pushed us out of the way and told all his clan to come too, and then, at the top of his voice, he announced “We do what we want, take what we need, and go where we please” and they did, despite the old age pensioners squished up against the wall like sardines.

When in my van waiting to get off the ferry, the men were in their cars smoking, and flicking the lit cigarettes onto the deck, under the cars that stood there possibly dripping oil!
It's like everything, some can spoil it for others, not all men are like that, but these ones will make others feel like they are.

Later in the same trip, the police were pulling cars, lorries, and vans on the motorway. Everyone was interviewed and breathalyzed, something that I never had done in my whole life. However, the police were charming, kind and helpful, but best of all, hugely compassionate towards the dogs and wanted to meet them and felt such sadness for them all. It was a very positive experience even though I've never been breathalyzed before. And yes, I was clear!

Well my long blog is nearly ended, my heart is not heavy, even though between Joyce and I, we brought back over 80 dogs, instead of being sad, I feel privileged to be in a position to help dogs, some have miserable stories like the JRT’s that escaped when a farm was targeted and raided, stealing all the dogs, causing the farmer to lose his mind, shoot his cows, and take his own life. The 2 Jack Russels were found later waiting at the farm waiting for their dinner.
Or there is the blind Pointer who wasn't wanted as she wouldn't work, or the Husky with the huge tumor on her side.

So many stories, now safe because of this place and your support. This rescue cost a lot 80 dogs' passports, which was £5000 +, and then the ferry, and the vans wear and tear and fuel (and on top of that we need to replace this van which will cost £60,000 with it all fitted out) and all of this is not possible without you all. So, thank you for your support, and reading my week.
Sylvia

Another week has passed - one with a whole lot of drama attached to it and also a week that proves our name “Many Tears” is so apt.

Days have flown by and exhaustion has settled into some sort of flu like symptoms, which is convenient, as my nose & eyes are streaming. My eyes are filled partially with cold symptoms but also a lot with tears, sadness and despair.
The weather has done nothing to lift my spirits with rain and winds that brought down many trees around these parts. The amount of calls about homeless people with homeless dogs has increased tenfold. We had a very sad, overweight Collie brought in a few weeks ago called Lang. His owner had died and a relative did not want him so was considering putting him to sleep. He came here in the nick of time but sadly poor Lang needs to be on heart medication and no one seems to want to offer darling Lang a home at all.

This is a typical story; although it comes about in various scenarios… Nella came to us as her owner had died but when the Police found the body they had no idea there was a dog on the property. The next of kin were called, who was in fact a friend, not a relative. She told the Police the deceased had a dog. The Police explained the person had been dead for 3 or 4 days, and now they had to seal the home up. The friend was insistent there was a dog at the property, and searched the house, and then the grounds. At the back of the garden there was a wall 15ft high of brambles, and deep in there was a poor terrified dog, who was too scared to go back into the house. The shocked and upset lady called and asked for our help. She explained the dog was in poor condition, but of course we took in the dog who is called Nella and was microchipped. From the chip we found Nella was 13 years old. After shaving off her matts and bathing her, we made her a comfy warm kennel. Two sad, confused and older dogs were then waiting for a forever home.

But it didn’t not stop there… A lady phoned as her dad had unexpectedly passed away and he had adopted one of our dogs - a dear cheerful little Jack Russell Terrier. Nesta is now waiting all over again to find a human soul mate having lost hers. People say I put my own emotions onto dogs thinking they think like me. However as years roll by, I understand dogs far better than I do human, and they do have emotions and feel the pain of loss intensely.
At night I lie in bed and I can hear dogs howling for their loved ones, whether a canine companion they have lived with all their lives or a human. My heart truly breaks for them. Bill says 15 dogs is enough, and I know he’s right however I still wish I could have them all indoors with me.

The days jogged on until yesterday. My days for the last few weeks have started at 4AM, as we did still have 10 pups to hand raise, and there was no point going back to bed. However the pups, or at least some have got really tricky to keep healthy. After being so elated last week that we had solid poo’s, the smaller pups got loose again. The smallest of all went home with a very knowledgeable & caring staff member, Chelsea, but very sadly the pup had a fit and died. That left me with 5 larger pups in one unit and 4 smaller pups in another.

The day had been terrible. It had started with a call from a specialist, they had a dog in that had 6 weeks earlier belonged to us. Felix, a Dacs, came to us from a breeder. As the climate for homing dogs is extremely poor at the moment, Felix stayed with us quite a few weeks, despite the fact he was a really sweet fella. The specialist who called said that Felix had become paralysed and they suspected a slipped disc. He said there was only a 50% chance of him coming right and his new owners wanted decided to put him to sleep. I said we wanted him to have the chance and said we would take him back to our care and pay what was needed, although he was supposedly insured. Sadly, no amount of reasoning or asking the vet to let me speak to the owners and so Felix would be put to sleep. With a very heavy heart, I tried to get on with my day, however it went from bad to worse. Next, a sweet poodle who had a broken leg that was not mending despite surgery with a specialist had to have her leg amputated. She went thought all the surgery, then 5 minutes from the end died under anaesthetic. I was devastated and kissed her soft white face, said goodbye, and had to make a quick exit as I believe crying in front of the staff is not helping them at all.

So I went to the 4 tiny hand raised pups and one was fitting. I gathered her in my arms and cradled her, but she could not regain consciousness, so I had to take her to the vets and put her to sleep. The wonderful vet was still grieving over the poodle and I had to find her a tissue to wipe her eyes as she could not see what she was doing from crying so hard. It was a terrible day.
We are losing our own vet in 2 weeks time, and I am feeling desperate as despite advertisements, agencies, and word of mouth - we still cannot find another. There is a nationwide shortage of vets, and we will be extremely lucky if we can find a compassionate, knowledgeable vet who is fast at neutering, realistic and resourceful to join our team. Our dogs need a vet on site, so this is undoubtedly a crisis. A good vet it getting a salary of around £65K-£75K a year. Unless we can match that, we have no hope.

So if you win the lottery, please remember ‘Many Tears’. Our logo has a meaning of love, compassion, and family. The saying that goes with our name is “The soul can have no rainbows, less the eyes shed some tears” (meaning amongst the sadness, there is the chance of happiness). Please God, I need to see some rainbows. Beagle pups being raised to be butchered in labs are still very on my mind. Beagles being bred for unthinkable experiments with no regards to the Animal Health Act and The 5 Freedoms - even without the thought of what these pups will endure once in the labs. Surely this is not right? Surely Government rules and legislations should apply to all dogs whether in rescue, boarding kennels, breeding kennels, or breeding places that breed only for experiments. It’s appalling and us dog lovers need to be doing something about this and not just cry!
I promise to try to make a happier, less depressing account for the next week but for that I will need God’s help.

Lastly, I want to thank
Jon for sharing the night duties with the pups.
Chelsea - for her care.
Kayla - for all the pups she’s tube fed and saved in the last year.
Dan & Lily -for all the dogs they foster AND all the team for their support!

Other people’s diaries may well start with memories of wonderful dinners, or walks, or visits to the grandchildren, but not mine. I will start with the thing that made me happy first. Though before I tell you that, I need to tell you how it all came about.

About 6 weeks ago, I picked up a very thin golden doodle (a golden retriever crossed with a poodle) whom we called Yitty. She was tall, lanky, very scared and extremely thin. We knew she could not be spayed with out risk of loss, so we set about fattening her up.
We added supplements and fed her Arden Grange, our really good quality food. We added a good worming plan, regular health checks and weighing too. Having had her 2 weeks Yitty started to bloom, however her back bone still stood out and her ribs showed, but she was getting a good little belly.

Two days later when I watched Yitty being walked I suddenly thought “My gosh” this dog looks pregnant. We took her in the vets and scanned her and saw the skeletons and heart beats of pups (we never abort pups). We prepared ourselves knowing we may need to supplement the pups feeding, if they survived. We had no idea when they were due, or what the dad would be. I called the breeder who gave her up and he said he had had her 5 months. She had been so stressed in kennels so he gave her to us. She had been kennelled with a standard poodle male, but never showed signs of coming into season. He was worried she was so thin and his vet said to call us, as all his other dogs were not thin, and he felt her poor weight was related to her being stressed and parted from her sister when the breeder bought her 5 months previously.

A week passed and Yitty started to nest and then without help had her pups. Amazingly she had 10, she came into milk and fed all the first week. However the pups only chose some of her nipples, as the back ones were inverted. We tried to release milk and pressure from the inverted nipples, but slowly we noticed them getting hot and sore, then hard.
Yitty had mastitis in those, so we bandaged her so the pups did not touch those incredibly sore nipples. But she started standing and not allowing the pups time to feed. Eventually we took her away from her pups and took on the HUGE job of hand raising 10 pups.

We started by tubing them, then bottle feeding, then as all of that was so time consuming, especially at night and they were older now, I made up a gruel with milk and mousse and with a big round dish to explore. When they licked their dirty whiskers and found they liked the taste, they started eating and climbing and skidding in the dishes, so at the end they were wet sticky messes. Next we got 10 tiny dishes and did the same. Feeding took less time, but was still messy.
For a week these little pups had runny motions. Then, and this is the exciting part, we seemed to have cracked it – FIRM POO’s “YES YES YES”! I was so excited, but it was 2 in the morning. I ran upstairs “hey you never guess what Bill, the pups had firm poos!”. Not sure he felt as I did as 10 seconds later he was fast asleep again, but I lay grinning.

It’s still not plain sailing but we are, I hope, on the road to success. 10 little ginger babies getting stronger each day. Yitty, their mummy, though not with them, is recovering well and putting on weight so we can spay and try to get her out of the kennel situation, and hopes of a nights sleep ahead, which is something I am really looking forward to.

Dupree our frenchie who has a form of megaesophagus, went to the specialist. She was thoroughly examined, had blood tests, x-rays and an MRI. Sadly there was nothing that stood out to see how we could help her that little bit more. One of our staff Dan took her home and with Lily, they worked out a special feeding regime; oily food fed the same way a mummy bird feeds her babies, followed by a slimy sardine along with prescribed meds, it seems to be helping her a lot. Though we were advised to put her to sleep the staff and I knew her quality of life was great in between brief regurgitation, and she was, and is, very happy. Of course caring for her takes a good few minutes a few times a day, but Dan reports her love and happiness and zest for life are all well worth it. Maybe you have the time to help her? We are very grateful to Eastcott specialists who were very helpful and all fell in love with her and understood why we were so keen to help her.

I have been following Camp Beagle. They campaign for the poor beagles used for vivisection. It plays heavily on my mind. I feel surely at the very least the public should have the right to know straight away if animals, especially beagles, have been used to test so a product can be manufactured. Just like you can see on a label that a farm is said to be humane or on cigarettes you get this warning that they can kill you – it should have that on products tested on beagles, it should say for instance “THIS BRAND” is tested on beagles.

Anyway I saw a list of brands online that still test on animals and it really made me think. If you feel as I do, and have the time and energy to ask everyone in the UK if they’d like that information printed on each product as law, you could get a petition up. Also, I’d like some people to ask the question are the vans used to move these poor dogs Defra approved with fixed cages and proper ventilation, like we have to have to move dogs. I wish I could do this, but I do not have the time to do this justice. Those who spend days and nights trying to help the beagles find justice, live on the road side outside the gates of Britain’s biggest puppy factory, MBR Acres, Marshall BioResources, the industrial breeder of beagle dogs supplied as a commodity to toxicology testing laboratories and Universities, could be described as the canine equivalent of Auschwitz. These activists are heroes. You may like to tell them this with a small package of chocolate or cakes (they are vegans mainly), just to boost their spirits. If you email hello@thecampbeagle.com and they will advise how you may send donations.

This week we had a call from a breeder on the borders of Scotland (a very long drive) so we are off to pick up those dogs. Our vans do a ridiculous number of miles, the wear and tear takes its toll, so we are trying to plan how to replace the vans that either wont pass their MOT next time, or are simply so high in mileage we worry they are no longer reliable. These vans are very expensive, and very expensive to kit out too, so quite a worry. With the bills per month, we never have 2 years running costs in the bank of which we were advised to do, but I trust in God, and somehow we will sort this worry out.

Lastly, May is coming. In May we will have been running 20 years and saved many many thousands of lives. I have a surprise for the dogs 1 st May and have spent 5 months working on this project along with others who have carefully followed my plans and dreams. I am so looking forward to showing you all this and think about it each day.

Thank you for your support. Without you, the dogs would have no hope.
Sylvia

Yet another weeks passed, and yet another week full of worries. Staff have left to study new careers, potential new staff are being interviewed. What I look for is hard working, reliable compassionate animal lovers with plenty of common sense. You would think there would be many wanting the job, but sadly no, they show interest, we talk on the phone. They ask for an interview then don't turn up, don't phone, don't email. Just disregard our calls and disappear!!

I have over 60 paid staff and we need all of them our dogs need extra time love and help and that’s why so many staff are needed.

The week started with a dog urgently needing a specialist as she had a broken leg. A fosterer with a dog having a fit and a lady falling on the walk around looking at the dogs. All of this was called by phone to me while I was in Northern Ireland picking up dogs.

Dear Dupree our Frenchie was due to go to a specialist for an MRI on Tuesday too. All played on my mind as I drove around chasing the clock to get to all the kennels picking up dogs before the ferry left.

Picking up dogs from Southern Ireland requires an agent in S. Ireland vets to do health checks and passports but it is so much easier than Northern Ireland. Southern Irish dogs cost a lot in vet bills, getting passports, but you know exactly what is coming, weeks in advance.

 However, picking up from Norther Ireland is a different story. I am contacted by breeders or by vets or by individuals who have been given my number by other breeders or vets. Breeders supply me with a picture of their licence and address to pick up, and I always ask how many dogs and what they are. Those licensed kennels are inspected regularly, they are not back yard unlicensed breeders. However, from the time I get the info, to the time I pick up the breeders often change their minds, and from picking up the 5 they asked for, there could be 10 more. Anyway, the port demands that no breeders are met on the roadside, which means a considerable amount of driving, watering dogs, cleaning out dogs crates and walking those who will and completing paperwork. From the 55 dogs you think you're bringing home, you may end up with 71, like I did. You get to the port and all your forms and paperwork, licensing and van inspection work must be correct.

Every dog is scanned for a chip, and I am asked to tell them where each dog came from and where I picked it up. This inspection takes over an hour depending on the vet, you can can get written up for any errors or misdemeanours. I did for taking a matted dog.  They said this dog should have been left as not fit to travel as matted. This is hugely stressful as leaving a dog literally makes me so sad I cry and cannot stop.

Anyway while I did all this I was trying to sort out specialist surgeons for broken legs, talk to the fosterer with her fitting dog, and sort out other calls too. I came home exhausted.

Dupree however had a lovely day with amazing vets who gave her an MRI and did many, many tests. The conclusion sadly was not determined as to what is wrong and she needs many more blood tests and a swallow study. So far we have spent over £3,000 and a £1,000 for swallow study.

If an operation to help her can be done we will have to double, or triple this, but Oh Boy is she worth it. She won all the vets, vet nurses and office workers hearts as she had ours and when Dupree came home all the staff greeted her.  One person offered to take her home on his days off and every night, and I cried for joy with her (then felt very embarrassed)

Just before I left for Ireland we had a call from a vets. They were literally about to put a Chihuahua to sleep. They had a catheter in the dogs leg and the liquid ready in the syringe to inject. This was because the little dog had a pup caught in her pelvis whilst she desperately tried to push it out, and the family could not afford the many thousands for a c-section. I told them to bring the dog to us to save her life, and spayed her. Two pups were dead, but the other survived 5 days but very sadly died last night. We feel he was oxygen deprived due to the whelping problems. Mummy Chihuahua went back to her family and they have agreed a payment plan at cost price of what the op cost us. The little dog went literally wild with excitement to see her family. It was great to save a life and make a family so happy.

I have a loving supportive pair of adult children who help me when ever possible. One of them, Leah, is an artist and knew how worried I was about the 10 frenchies and bulldogs that came in with so many problems that have cost so much to mend. Very kindly Leah (whose work you can see on https://www.instagram.com/leah_gardner_arts_/?hl=de) has donated 2 wonderful limited pictures of a British Bulldog and a Frenchie to auction to try and raise funds. So every one is trying to help get through these very expensive times. The auction will be on our sites very soon.
  
Well, that's my week, I am sleep deprived but happy we have had some successful stories and many happy dogs whose lives have been saved because of people like you who have supported us.

And as for that matted dog? Just look at the difference now! How handsome is he underneath all those knots and tangles! I am so glad I did not leave him behind.

Please help to care for these dogs, it is only with your continued support that we are able to keep going. Thank you 

This week has been far from easy.

Last night I lay in bed sleepless and worrying and I thought of the prayer “God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” ... it's a very hard quote to live by.

The Bulldogs and Frenchies are still causing big concern, not all, but the ones that are make up for all.

 
My first is Dupree. She’s a small grey beaten up lady, ears in poor condition (from fights I expect, though she never fights here, so possibly picked on). She is super cool and would win over even those who are never drawn to this breed. She regurgitates her meals every time, sometimes two or three times over, and is always hungry. She came in very thin, and is still thin. We had a special x- ray done that watched a liquid go down, and this showed she had an unusual lip of megaesophagus. I had already fed her up, fed many different combinations of food, liquid, sticky balls of food, I cooked food, I gave raw food, but nothing worked, so the vets said to put her to sleep. It broke my heart as they did not see her in between – lapping up our love and enjoying life. I felt there may be the slightest chance some referred vets could save her but this would come at a huge cost, in a way it’s like gambling money. Dupree has weighed very heavily on my shoulders all week.

Next a lovely senior dog came in a few weeks ago, so fat the heart was hard to hear over a wheezy chest. Now some weeks later the chest is better, but a high grade heart murmur has been found; an x-ray showed an enlarged heart. Who will want to adopt him? I don’t know. He’s not castrated and gets very excited with other dogs. His owner died and he’s missing him too. It feels not only he has a broken heart, but I have too.

Then Timmy came in, an ex-farm Collie. They had kept all his siblings and parents to work sheep, but Timmy just hid they said. Here it’s clear he has hind leg problems and is in pain, so this must be addressed. I can see the £’s just mounting up.

Then yesterday a Frenchie was being castrated but the vet could not get a tube down him, all because man has bred this poor breed so badly that they literally are born to suffer, and it seems my standards don’t apply to those still breeding and buying these poor messed up dogs. So he now needs to go to a specialist, have a nasal wedge done as well as an x-ray to see why his airway is so tight. The cost will definitely be well over £4000.

This is all in just one week.

Then a tiny pony arrived skinny, covered in lice and with a really big lump on her face. I recognised food going up and up her cheek making the lump bigger - when I freed it up, the relief it gave her was quite clear. I just knew there was a reason this happened. So I called out an emergency horse vet who cranked her mouth open with a machine that looked like something out of the times of torture in the tower of London. The vet found her teeth were so bad that one has grown out and embedded itself in the little ponies cheek causing it to cut her and making eating, though a necessity, never a pleasure. So she ate less and less as the pain grew more and more. The vet was able to improve things but not solve it - it will take a few times of coming to see her over the next six months to sort it out properly.

So this is why I lay in bed remembering that quote.

This week has had a few good positive things though. Staff have had more training and some seem to really want to learn more and increase their skills. A wonderful vet and vet nurse friend came all the way from London to spay for a day which was really kind. Plus it only rained 5 ½ days out of 7.

We also managed to raise most of the funds for the agility equipment, so hopefully by the summer, the dogs and staff will have a chance to learn new fun skills.

We have a foster run tomorrow, so some of these precious dogs will be in a loving home very soon, though others are waiting to come in sadly.

Thank you all for your support, and have a wonderful week with your best four legged friend or friends, and enjoy every minute with them.

If you would like to donate towards the rescue we would be so very grateful for your support - thank you so much.

Sylvia x

One Week In My Life by Sylvia Van Atta
CEO of Many Tears Animal Rescue

There is never an easy week at Many Tears. Rescue is filled with a lot of heartache but the thing that keeps powering us through is the love and passion we have for saving these dogs’ lives. With every heartache there is always a flip side: meeting the incredible adopters, watching sick dogs get better, seeing updates of past dogs living incredible lives... the positives are what keeps me going. This week, however, has been difficult for another reason, and to be truthful, the past few weeks have been the same. After falling off a new horse we had in recently, I have been limping around and although I should rest, the rescue comes first.
After some weeks of trying my best to heal myself while also working around the clock, my purple-swelling knee has meant that ultimately, I have been feeling useless and the need for an operation I had to have because of the fall only proved it to be the case. It’s been miserable not being able to be as hands on as I usually am, and it’s meant that I’ve had the chance to look at the rescue from a different perspective.
By no means has this meant that I’ve been able to rest, in fact, quite the opposite. I still had a job to do and for this week I thought I would share my days with you, our supporters, in the hope of getting to know me and my role a little better and what the world of rescue is like. 

MONDAY
At first I was full of enthusiasm as behind the scenes I’ve been working on a massive project that is close to my heart and is almost coming to the point of being unveiled! It’s somewhat of a dream of mine, and seeing it come together brings me nothing but joy. I told myself that enough was enough for my self pity and today was the day I was going to limp faster, complain less and focus on doing something I loved.
But one thing to know about my role is that no two days are the same and you can never tell what the day will bring.
Today I had to halt my project entirely and focus on those that needed my help. The day began, instead, with a video from a staff member that is currently fostering a sweet old girl who was in clear distress and had to see a vet as soon as possible.
The problem was that we didn’t have one on site that day, so instead we had to find an emergency vet to take her to. We quickly found out that she was having mini-seizures and luckily managed to get the right medication she needed to relax her and get her back on track. She is doing well, though it’s always sad seeing dogs in their older years displaced and still without their forever home.  

My next worry came from a lovely Collie that came into us pregnant, but had no historysurrounding her. She was full of milk, uncomfortable and had a belly full of pups but wasn’t pushing. I wasn’t sure what to do. She seemed like she was in such distress that it was causing me to worry about her. I called another emergency vet, who was also worried about her symptoms, and suggested we do an emergency c-section. As we didn’t know how far along into her pregnancy she really was, the idea of performing a c-section was a difficult decision to make. There was a chance of losing both the mum and the pups, but if left too long, the same could’ve also happened. I decided to go ahead with it and prayed everything would be okay.
Thankfully, the vet came to our rescue and so did a team of staff, and with all hands on deck, the beautiful Collie had 8 pups who are all so gorgeous and wonderful, but will inevitably mean 7 weeks of sleepless nights to make sure they’re still thriving after staff hours.
 
But the day wasn’t done there. Next was the news of a Chow that came into us last week who alsohad to go to an emergency vet. That’s three trips in just one day!
I was devastated when I first met her a few days before. To look at her was like looking at every dog that had ever been treated poorly in the past and my heart ached for her. She was in such a sorry state.
Her eyes were so gunky that she couldn’t see from her double entropion, and she had a bad case of mange that had caused her to go completely bald. The fur she did still have around her head was matted so much that all our volunteer groomer could do was shave her off entirely. Yet when I met her, she buried her head into my hands and begged me to give her love. That was all she had wanted and the instant trust that she was willing to put into me broke my heart. It was clear from the beginning she wasn’t very well but after an examination, the vet found out that she had a terrible pyometra. He was shocked at the sight and said he’s never seen anything like it. She had extensive surgery to fix this and got spayed at the same time, and luckily seemed to be recovering well, at home with a staff member. This was just one single day in my life, and although it had been stressful, it was lovely to see that everything worked out and all the dogs I was so worried about were doing well. I then thought, ‘tomorrow can only get better’, but how naive I was!

TUESDAY
Tuesday came and I didn’t get a chance to work on my project further, instead there seemed to be one problem after another. We had a dog brought in to us that had been with their deceased owner for a little while. He was very old, skinny and in a bad state both mentally and physically. The body of his owner was thankfully found by the police, but who knows that the dog had suffered in experiencing this loss. I wish I could say this is rare for us, but we often have to help guide a dog through loss whether it’s because their person has passed, no longer wanted them or have come from a similarly sad situation. It’s painful for us all, especially when you can hear the cries of a dog that just wants its person back, but it wasn’t as bad as what the poor dog was going through. All we could do for the dog was make him feel safe, loved and well-fed. He quickly went into foster care with a staff member, and I just pray that his twilight years won’t be completely overshadowed by the loss of the person that cared for him until his old age.  

WEDNESDAY
On the same day the Chow arrived to us, we also had nearly twenty Frenchies,Bulldogs and mixes brought into the rescue. They were being assessed in our care and by today it was clear that they were all showing respiratory problems, and suspected kennel cough, which meant they all had to move into isolation. In cases like this it is vital that the staff scrub and disinfect everything, and it took a lot of people to make sure there could be no instances of cross-contamination. Beyond that, nearly all the new arrivals needed nasal wedges, which is an expensive operation just for one, nevermind nearly 20! It’s going to cost thousands, but at this moment, they’re unable to breathe and have such a poor quality of life. We are fortunate to be able to help them, so when it's time for them to get spayed/castrated, they will also be getting this vital surgery to ensure a better quality of life.
I personally believe it’s so so wrong that humankind has bred dogs to suffer purposefully, but it happens all the time, so if I can help those that come into our care to thrive a little more, then there’s no amount of money that deems their little souls not worth it. Still no time to work on that project and now the fear of money was creeping up on me. ‘Maybe tomorrow’, I thought, but with it being this far into the week, I was becoming less hopeful.  

THURSDAY
Thursday consisted of another day of problem-solving, and sometimes life can feel like it’s full of nothing but negativity. The Frenchies andd Bulldogs were still not well, but on this morning, one of the Frenchie’s began to regurgitate food. It’s a difficult job to try and figure out the reason why - is it because they ate too quickly? Is their throat sore? Do they have some kind of problem with that particular food? Is there something more sinister going on? It’s hard to be sure but with them being ill-health to begin with, I found myself worrying and worrying and worrying. Again, and for maybe the fourth time just this week, we had to make a trip to the vets as I thought that maybe she had a megaesophagus, but only the x-rays could tell and all we could do was wait. I had no choice but to push my project to the side, but realised how lucky I was to have some others giving me a helping hand with it, otherwise it could never get done!  

FRIDAY
I will be honest, by Friday I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I still had limitedmobility, and I had spent the entire working week being worried sick over dogs and trying to solve their issues. By today I was completely overwhelmed by the paperwork I had mounting up and felt like I was getting too far behind to recover. I had been up every couple of hours to check on the new pups, and began to feel like there just wasn’t enough hours in the day. But today wasn’t the day to focus on the negatives, instead all of my own problems became secondary as the start of my day consisted of getting those x-rays back. Unfortunately, they gave us no answers.The x-rays were very strange and no vet was too sure what was going on, so I had to find a specialist that could give us more insight. Once finding the specialist and going through the Frenchie’s x-rays again, I was told that she could’ve been born with a deformity and to scope her to check. Our only problem being... we didn’t have one!So my day became filled again with calling around vets and finally managing to book her in for this upcoming Monday.
While this was going on, we also had a dog come into us who was originally from the rescue and had been adopted out over a year ago, but after a change of circumstances, found his way back to us. These cases are always so sad, but what’s worse is that he was a longstayer before and it breaks my heart to know that it’ll be the same case again, the only difference is that now he’s experienced everything a home has to offer and it’s all been taken away from him. I worry about this boy and it reminded me of how much I hurt for our longstayers. I always have them at the forefront of my mind in the hopes to get them noticed by the right people, or wondering how to enrich them more, and a lot of the time I try and think about how I would feel if I was stuck in a kennel and what would I need to make sure I wouldn’t go crazy.  

SATURDAY
Saturday came much quicker than expected, and the day consisted of scrambling to catch up with the ever-mounting paperwork. I was tired from the constant nightly checks, the ever-growing worry over the old girl in foster and the dogs that weren’t feeling great, but none of that was anything like the news I was about to receive.
I was contacted by the staff member who was looking after the Chow and hit me with somedevastating news. Yes, she had been doing well. She had slept well since coming back from her operation, ate all her food and seemed like she was on the mend but sadly things took a turn. I was told that she had got up in the morning and did her usual routine, then just passed away right in front of the people caring for her.
It was a huge shock to everyone, she was so special. I thought about when I first met her and how much of an impact she had on me. We think she suffered from an embolism, but don’t know for sure. All I do know is that I feel terrible for her. She had a long life, full of suffering all the way until the end, and all I try to remind myself is that at least she had one good week. It may not seem like much, but at least for that week she was loved more than she had ever known before and in the end, it was apparent that that’s all she ever wanted.  

SUNDAY
As the week was coming to a close, my mind was still racing at a million miles an hour. I was still on night shift and still in a lot of pain, but in rescue you just have to keep on going, because if I don’t then who will? I had to remind myself that I could only tackle one problem at a time, and although my project hadn’t progressed, the dogs currently in the kennels came first. In weeks like this, it’s so important to dwell on the positives, and I decided to use all my sadness to inspire me instead. I had already been thinking about the long-stayers, and with that boy returning back to us, what I could do to make their lives better played on my mind.  
A long-stayers is a term used for our dogs that have a difficult time finding a home. Whether it’s because they’re in need of a specific type of home, have an attitude, they aren’t understood by the average person, or have just gone unnoticed, I constantly fear that they’ll end up in kennels forever and I know in my heart that none of them belong here.
When my new inspiration hit, I got straight to work. I wrote down all of our long stayers and brainstormed what could benefit them. I wanted them to have something that wouldn’t just bide their time here, but something they could take with them to their new home. All the dogs are so vastly different, but when whittling it down, it was clear that nearly all our long-stayers love and need a focus. They are all intelligent, all happy to learn and need that extra enrichment that shorter staying dogs don’t require.
A few weeks ago, and with the help of our lovely dog behaviourist, we put a plan in place for these dogs to ensure they were learning skills that would attract similarly ‘doggy people’.
Since then they’ve been learning about routines and tricks and the dogs have been thriving with their new programme.The intention was that by putting in the groundwork now, it would help set them up better for the future and by doing that, we’ve seen the dogs begin to flourish more than they ever had before. I decided to get in contact with the behaviourist to talk about the long-stayers and how we could make their lives better. I had several ideas and with her help, began to pinpoint exactly what each dogs’ needs were and found the greatest benefit to them would be agility. Learning agility would mean that they’d have a job, they’d get to learn new tricks, they’d be enriched and, by the end, be so tired that they are only thinking of sleep and not of their sad situations. The problem? The equipment for this costs around £5,000.... (WOW!) It seemed like the perfect solution, but that huge figure made it feel out of reach. And that brings me to tonight. I’m sitting here, writing this all out between my night checks and catching up on work. As I reflect on this week, I can’t help but think about those we lost, those we saved, those we tried to but couldn’t and those who I don’t even know exist that are still pining for my help.
Then, I think of the dogs that are here and how I feel we could always do more for them. Then I think of my project, and even though it’s so special for me, the dogs that are currently staying with us come first. As the new week comes in, I find myself thinking more and more about the Chow and the rest of the rescue dogs. They’re in the forefront of my mind, and I want to do something special for them in memory of those that just don’t get the opportunity to have a chance at life.   So that’s been my week. It’s been full of ups and downs but I have to be hopeful that things will be better in the next. My inspiration will carry me through and so will my hopes to better each and every dogs’ lives.
I think agility is the next step for us in the rescue and would help our forgotten souls thrive, so I am asking that if you enjoyed reading about the week I had, and have gotten this far, then please consider making a donation toward the agility equipment.
The benefits of having such things will mean nothing but joy for the dogs and will help a busy-minded, untrained dog to change their ways and perspectives and will help them, sooner rather than later, to find their forever homes.  
Thank you,
Sylvia Van Atta

TO DONATE TOWARDS SYLVIA'S GOAL OF CREATING A PLAY SPACE WITH AGILITY EQUIPMENT PLEASE CLICK BELOW