Sylvia's Diary 16-03-24

There is never an easy week at Many Tears. Rescue is filled with a lot of heartache but the thing that keeps powering us through is the love and passion we have for saving these dogs’ lives. With every heartache there is always a flip side: meeting the incredible adopters, watching sick dogs get better, seeing updates of past dogs living incredible lives... the positives are what keeps me going. This week, however, has been difficult for another reason, and to be truthful, the past few weeks have been the same. After falling off a new horse we had in recently, I have been limping around and although I should rest, the rescue comes first.

After some weeks of trying my best to heal myself while also working around the clock, my purple-swelling knee has meant that ultimately, I have been feeling useless and the need for an operation I had to have because of the fall only proved it to be the case. It’s been miserable not being able to be as hands on as I usually am, and it’s meant that I’ve had the chance to look at the rescue from a different perspective.
By no means has this meant that I’ve been able to rest, in fact, quite the opposite. I still had a job to do and for this week I thought I would share my days with you, our supporters, in the hope of getting to know me and my role a little better and what the world of rescue is like. 

MONDAY
At first I was full of enthusiasm as behind the scenes I’ve been working on a massive project that is close to my heart and is almost coming to the point of being unveiled! It’s somewhat of a dream of mine, and seeing it come together brings me nothing but joy. I told myself that enough was enough for my self pity and today was the day I was going to limp faster, complain less and focus on doing something I loved.
But one thing to know about my role is that no two days are the same and you can never tell what the day will bring.
Today I had to halt my project entirely and focus on those that needed my help. The day began, instead, with a video from a staff member that is currently fostering a sweet old girl who was in clear distress and had to see a vet as soon as possible.
The problem was that we didn’t have one on site that day, so instead we had to find an emergency vet to take her to. We quickly found out that she was having mini-seizures and luckily managed to get the right medication she needed to relax her and get her back on track. She is doing well, though it’s always sad seeing dogs in their older years displaced and still without their forever home.  

My next worry came from a lovely Collie that came into us pregnant, but had no history surrounding her. She was full of milk, uncomfortable and had a belly full of pups but wasn’t pushing. I wasn’t sure what to do. She seemed like she was in such distress that it was causing me to worry about her. I called another emergency vet, who was also worried about her symptoms, and suggested we do an emergency c-section. As we didn’t know how far along into her pregnancy she really was, the idea of performing a c-section was a difficult decision to make. There was a chance of losing both the mum and the pups, but if left too long, the same could’ve also happened. I decided to go ahead with it and prayed everything would be okay.
Thankfully, the vet came to our rescue and so did a team of staff, and with all hands on deck, the beautiful Collie had 8 pups who are all so gorgeous and wonderful, but will inevitably mean 7 weeks of sleepless nights to make sure they’re still thriving after staff hours.
 
But the day wasn’t done there. Next was the news of a Chow that came into us last week who also had to go to an emergency vet. That’s three trips in just one day!
I was devastated when I first met her a few days before. To look at her was like looking at every dog that had ever been treated poorly in the past and my heart ached for her. She was in such a sorry state.
Her eyes were so gunky that she couldn’t see from her double entropion, and she had a bad case of mange that had caused her to go completely bald. The fur she did still have around her head was matted so much that all our volunteer groomer could do was shave her off entirely. Yet when I met her, she buried her head into my hands and begged me to give her love. That was all she had wanted and the instant trust that she was willing to put into me broke my heart. It was clear from the beginning she wasn’t very well but after an examination, the vet found out that she had a terrible pyometra. He was shocked at the sight and said he’s never seen anything like it. She had extensive surgery to fix this and got spayed at the same time, and luckily seemed to be recovering well, at home with a staff member. This was just one single day in my life, and although it had been stressful, it was lovely to see that everything worked out and all the dogs I was so worried about were doing well. I then thought, ‘tomorrow can only get better’, but how naive I was!

TUESDAY
Tuesday came and I didn’t get a chance to work on my project further, instead there seemed to be one problem after another. We had a dog brought in to us that had been with their deceased owner for a little while. He was very old, skinny and in a bad state both mentally and physically. The body of his owner was thankfully found by the police, but who knows that the dog had suffered in experiencing this loss. I wish I could say this is rare for us, but we often have to help guide a dog through loss whether it’s because their person has passed, no longer wanted them or have come from a similarly sad situation. It’s painful for us all, especially when you can hear the cries of a dog that just wants its person back, but it wasn’t as bad as what the poor dog was going through. All we could do for the dog was make him feel safe, loved and well-fed. He quickly went into foster care with a staff member, and I just pray that his twilight years won’t be completely overshadowed by the loss of the person that cared for him until his old age.  

WEDNESDAY
On the same day the Chow arrived to us, we also had nearly twenty Frenchies, Bulldogs and mixes brought into the rescue. They were being assessed in our care and by today it was clear that they were all showing respiratory problems, and suspected kennel cough, which meant they all had to move into isolation. In cases like this it is vital that the staff scrub and disinfect everything, and it took a lot of people to make sure there could be no instances of cross-contamination. Beyond that, nearly all the new arrivals needed nasal wedges, which is an expensive operation just for one, never mind nearly 20! It’s going to cost thousands, but at this moment, they’re unable to breathe and have such a poor quality of life. We are fortunate to be able to help them, so when it's time for them to get spayed/castrated, they will also be getting this vital surgery to ensure a better quality of life.
I personally believe it’s so so wrong that humankind has bred dogs to suffer purposefully, but it happens all the time, so if I can help those that come into our care to thrive a little more, then there’s no amount of money that deems their little souls not worth it. Still no time to work on that project and now the fear of money was creeping up on me. ‘Maybe tomorrow’, I thought, but with it being this far into the week, I was becoming less hopeful.

THURSDAY
Thursday consisted of another day of problem-solving, and sometimes life can feel like it’s full of nothing but negativity. The Frenchies and Bulldogs were still not well, but on this morning, one of the Frenchie’s began to regurgitate food. It’s a difficult job to try and figure out the reason why - is it because they ate too quickly? Is their throat sore? Do they have some kind of problem with that particular food? Is there something more sinister going on? It’s hard to be sure but with them being ill-health to begin with, I found myself worrying and worrying and worrying. Again, and for maybe the fourth time just this week, we had to make a trip to the vets as I thought that maybe she had a megaoesophagus, but only the x-rays could tell and all we could do was wait. I had no choice but to push my project to the side, but realised how lucky I was to have some others giving me a helping hand with it, otherwise it could never get done!  

FRIDAY
I will be honest, by Friday I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I still had limited mobility, and I had spent the entire working week being worried sick over dogs and trying to solve their issues. By today I was completely overwhelmed by the paperwork I had mounting up and felt like I was getting too far behind to recover. I had been up every couple of hours to check on the new pups, and began to feel like there just wasn’t enough hours in the day. But today wasn’t the day to focus on the negatives, instead all of my own problems became secondary as the start of my day consisted of getting those x-rays back. Unfortunately, they gave us no answers.The x-rays were very strange and no vet was too sure what was going on, so I had to find a specialist that could give us more insight. Once finding the specialist and going through the Frenchie’s x-rays again, I was told that she could’ve been born with a deformity and to scope her to check. Our only problem being... we didn’t have one!So my day became filled again with calling around vets and finally managing to book her in for this upcoming Monday.
While this was going on, we also had a dog come into us who was originally from the rescue and had been adopted out over a year ago, but after a change of circumstances, found his way back to us. These cases are always so sad, but what’s worse is that he was a long stayer before and it breaks my heart to know that it’ll be the same case again, the only difference is that now he’s experienced everything a home has to offer and it’s all been taken away from him. I worry about this boy and it reminded me of how much I hurt for our long stayers. I always have them at the forefront of my mind in the hopes to get them noticed by the right people, or wondering how to enrich them more, and a lot of the time I try and think about how I would feel if I was stuck in a kennel and what would I need to make sure I wouldn’t go crazy.  

SATURDAY
Saturday came much quicker than expected, and the day consisted of scrambling to catch up with the ever-mounting paperwork. I was tired from the constant nightly checks, the ever-growing worry over the old girl in foster and the dogs that weren’t feeling great, but none of that was anything like the news I was about to receive.
I was contacted by the staff member who was looking after the Chow and hit me with some devastating news. Yes, she had been doing well. She had slept well since coming back from her operation, ate all her food and seemed like she was on the mend but sadly things took a turn. I was told that she had got up in the morning and did her usual routine, then just passed away right in front of the people caring for her.
It was a huge shock to everyone, she was so special. I thought about when I first met her and how much of an impact she had on me. We think she suffered from an embolism, but don’t know for sure. All I do know is that I feel terrible for her. She had a long life, full of suffering all the way until the end, and all I try to remind myself is that at least she had one good week. It may not seem like much, but at least for that week she was loved more than she had ever known before and in the end, it was apparent that that’s all she ever wanted.  

SUNDAY
As the week was coming to a close, my mind was still racing at a million miles an hour. I was still on night shift and still in a lot of pain, but in rescue you just have to keep on going, because if I don’t then who will? I had to remind myself that I could only tackle one problem at a time, and although my project hadn’t progressed, the dogs currently in the kennels came first. In weeks like this, it’s so important to dwell on the positives, and I decided to use all my sadness to inspire me instead. I had already been thinking about the long-stayers, and with that boy returning back to us, what I could do to make their lives better played on my mind.  
A long-stayers is a term used for our dogs that have a difficult time finding a home. Whether it’s because they’re in need of a specific type of home, have an attitude, they aren’t understood by the average person, or have just gone unnoticed, I constantly fear that they’ll end up in kennels forever and I know in my heart that none of them belong here.
When my new inspiration hit, I got straight to work. I wrote down all of our long stayers and brainstormed what could benefit them. I wanted them to have something that wouldn’t just bide their time here, but something they could take with them to their new home. All the dogs are so vastly different, but when whittling it down, it was clear that nearly all our long-stayers love and need a focus. They are all intelligent, all happy to learn and need that extra enrichment that shorter staying dogs don’t require.
A few weeks ago, and with the help of our lovely dog behaviourist, we put a plan in place for these dogs to ensure they were learning skills that would attract similarly ‘doggy people’.
Since then they’ve been learning about routines and tricks and the dogs have been thriving with their new programme.The intention was that by putting in the groundwork now, it would help set them up better for the future and by doing that, we’ve seen the dogs begin to flourish more than they ever had before. I decided to get in contact with the behaviourist to talk about the long-stayers and how we could make their lives better. I had several ideas and with her help, began to pinpoint exactly what each dogs’ needs were and found the greatest benefit to them would be agility. Learning agility would mean that they’d have a job, they’d get to learn new tricks, they’d be enriched and, by the end, be so tired that they are only thinking of sleep and not of their sad situations. The problem? The equipment for this costs around £5,000.... (WOW!) It seemed like the perfect solution, but that huge figure made it feel out of reach. And that brings me to tonight. I’m sitting here, writing this all out between my night checks and catching up on work. As I reflect on this week, I can’t help but think about those we lost, those we saved, those we tried to but couldn’t and those who I don’t even know exist that are still pining for my help.
Then, I think of the dogs that are here and how I feel we could always do more for them. Then I think of my project, and even though it’s so special for me, the dogs that are currently staying with us come first. As the new week comes in, I find myself thinking more and more about the Chow and the rest of the rescue dogs. They’re in the forefront of my mind, and I want to do something special for them in memory of those that just don’t get the opportunity to have a chance at life.   So that’s been my week. It’s been full of ups and downs but I have to be hopeful that things will be better in the next. My inspiration will carry me through and so will my hopes to better each and every dogs’ lives.
I think agility is the next step for us in the rescue and would help our forgotten souls thrive, so I am asking that if you enjoyed reading about the week I had, and have gotten this far, then please consider making a donation toward the agility equipment.
The benefits of having such things will mean nothing but joy for the dogs and will help a busy-minded, untrained dog to change their ways and perspectives and will help them, sooner rather than later, to find their forever homes.  
Thank you,
Sylvia Van Atta